3 Exercises That Can Help You Destroy Your Mental Roadblocks

Whenever I talk to people about how they set goals for themselves, the first barriers they cite to progress are often their own mental roadblocks. They start off too optimistic, or too pessimistic. They put themselves down, or they forget to plan out the next steps in their head. Mostly, they forget to adequately prepare their mind for taking action.

There are various ways for tackling mental blocks and drains on motivation, but from my experience there are a few simple, straightforward tools that can help just about anyone overcome those mental blocks, if implemented properly. The following was inspired by Caroline Webb’s recent book ‘How to Have a Good Day’.

Here are the three mental tools that you can use to help destroy mental roadblocks and tackle your top priorities in less time:

1. Create mental contrasts

James Stockdale was a US prisoner of war in Vietnam for 7 years. During that time, he described the fact that prisoners who were overly optimistic about their chances or too pessimistic were less likely to survive than those who were able to balance their focus on the end goal while having a deeper appreciation of the challenges they would face.

As he puts it, “You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” This philosophy of duality has come to be called the Stockdale Paradox.

To this end, consider the value of creating mental contrasts in your daily life. Sure, you likely won’t be facing hardships like those faced by James Stockdale, but you may very well find opportunities to balance both a positive outlook on future goals with a realistic understanding of the challenges you will face.

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” – Moliere

One way of making sure you spend enough time focusing on strategic tasks which support your long term objectives is to balance positive thinking with negative. This means thinking about what is likely to get in the way of you achieving your goals so that you can address those issues head on without being blindsided by them.

This technique is called mental contrasting, and it requires holding both a positive outlook for the future of a task or activity while simultaneously looking holistically at the challenges and potential obstacles that stand in your way and will prevent you from reaching your goals.

You must balance faith that you will reach your goals in the end with the facts of the current (and often brutal) reality of the challenges you will face on a daily basis. Realistic idealism of this kind is important to drive action and help people achieve their goals. What’s important is that people simultaneously work to envision the goals they are striving for and the obstacles they are facing. The key is to plan for both so that you can weather any storm.

2. Prime your actions with the right thoughts and stimuli

Have you ever listened to a song that put you in a good mood which carried on through the day? Perhaps it made you feel more productive, more energetic, more likely to start a conversation with your colleague or that stranger down the hall.

What you associate with productivity and success can often be manipulated. Once one small part of your brain is activated in a positive way, you may be able to drive productive thoughts and activities throughout the day. This is often referred to by scientists as the spreading activation effect.

One way to drive your ability to tackle priorities is to prime your actions with the right thoughts and external stimuli. Consider the way your brain associates certain feelings with specific thoughts, images, ideas, etc. If you experience one positive emotion or sensation based on a certain stimuli (e.g. sitting in your favorite seat at your favorite coffee shop), you will subconsciously be more productive and more energised to take action and do more efficient work.

Unfortunately, this won’t happen every single time, but the more frequently you make these connections, the more likely it will be that these strong bonds are created. Neuroscientists say that “neurons that fire together, wire together”. Take this to heart as you consider which stimuli to expose yourself to as you consider the best way to stay motivated and focus on your objectives.

“The biggest obstacle to wealth is fear. People are afraid to think big, but if you think small, you’ll only achieve small things.” – T. Harv Eker

3. Conduct a mind’s eye rehearsal

Think about the last time you got ready to do something that was stressful or difficult. Perhaps it was preparing for a presentation or a speech or maybe you were psyching yourself up for a big race or a competition.

Research suggests that our brains activate in much the same way when we visualise something happening as when we experience it for real. If we visualise a speech going horribly wrong, or we envision ourselves tripping up at the starting block, chances are we won’t perform to our highest level when the time comes.

Practice makes perfect, and the more you visualise an activity in the way you would like to accomplish that activity, the more likely it will be that you can make that thing happen. Interestingly, the same neural pathways that are created when we repeat activities over and over again in the physical world are also created when we visualise those activities.

So, next time you want to get something done, consider rehearsing in your minds eye exactly what you want to get done, including every detail of the activity, and exactly what you want it to feel like when you accomplish your goal successfully.

How do you overcome mental roadblocks? Comment below!

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Struggling With Procrastination and Self-Doubt? Here’s How to Overcome Both

Procrastination and self-doubt are two of the biggest killers of dreams and goals. I’ve been there more than once in my life regarding some important goal I set for myself to achieve. Only when it comes time to take physical action on my plans in the real world, and expose myself to rejection or failure, I start experiencing paralyzing self-doubt and fear. This turns into procrastination in the form of distractions that only create a false illusion I’m achieving my goals. In reality, I’m accomplishing nothing.

Have you ever been there? If left unchecked and unresolved in your life, this cycle of procrastination and self-doubt will soon become a habitual downward spiral where you can go for months without having produced any substantial results towards the goals. Eventually you’ll just give up on the entire goal altogether, leaving the hopes and dreams you had associated with that goal to be delayed even longer.

Here are my 3 best tips for overcoming this goal-killing self-perpetuating cycle of self-doubt and procrastination:

1. Winning The Mind/Body Game

If you’ve studied personal development for even a few minutes, you should already know that anything and everything we ever want to achieve or experience in life first starts in the mind. However, there’s also another component to the process that is just as important to develop control over, and that is the body.

Our minds can conjure up an unlimited number of ideas, solutions, and businesses with ease, but if the body isn’t activated effectively to carry out these ideas and bring them into physical reality, then nothing is accomplished and the ideas remain as only a figment of imagination, not benefiting anyone.

To overcome self-doubt and procrastination in your life, it’s first important to realize that you must become 100% acutely aware of these two components of yourself and how they operate. There is also a third component to who you are – the consciousness of you, some call it your Higher Self, which is in control of both mind and body.

We as humans have the ability, at any time that we choose, to use our conscious intention and a higher level of personal awareness to guide our thinking patterns and our physical actions in a very focused and productive way. If done this way, we can create certain desired outcomes and achieve our goals.

Without this level of self-awareness, you’ll be almost totally powerless to overcome the negative forces of self-doubt and procrastination once they start gaining momentum in your life. Know that you have the awesome creative ability to observe, evaluate, and correct your own thinking patterns and personal habits from this higher perspective.

“You have to change your thinking if you desire to have a future different from your present.” – Germany Kent

2. Developing Brutal Honesty

When we find ourselves caught in a negative cycle of procrastination and self-doubt, one critical action you should take right away is to become brutally honest with yourself about the situation. When I do this, I get out a notebook and start writing out all the things (thoughts, actions, behaviors) that I know I should be doing in order to achieve my goals, and then I write out all the things that I’m actually doing so that I can see the stark contrast between the two.

This makes it plainly obvious to me why my goals aren’t being reached, and what I can do to immediately change that trajectory. Then, I like to contemplate and visualize the pain I would experience by not seeing my goals accomplished, and compare that to the minimal amount of “pain” I may experience from taking appropriate action and staying true to my goals. At this point, it becomes clearly obvious which is the greater of the two pains – which is not achieving my goals and living with regret.

3. Third-Party Accountability

Once you’ve started getting an understanding of your mind/body connection, and developed brutal honesty with yourself, the best way to tie it all together is to establish a third-party accountability structure with a trustworthy person.

For this role, a professional accountability coach is by far the best investment anyone could make into their future. Similar to a life coach, an accountability coach is specifically focused on helping you stay 100% accountable (or as close to 100% as possible) to the daily actions, behaviors, and habits that are necessary for you to make your goals a reality.

Not only that, but a good accountability coach will also impart a heavy dose of motivation, inspiration, and positive energy with every interaction you have with them. They’ll help you believe in yourself even when you don’t. They’ll be a trusted partner who walks with you step-by-step through the journey of creating your dreams and goals.

“Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow you into your happiest, strongest, wisest self.” – Karen Salmansohn

The top-performers of every industry all rely on having specific types of coaches, consultants and mentors to help them follow-through on their goals and achieve excellence in their results. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t even be in those top positions of their field.

How much has procrastination and self-doubt affected you?  Leave a comment and let me know!

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23 Most Inspiring Tom Hanks Quotes

American actor and filmmaker Tom Hanks is one of the most respected men in Hollywood, and for good reason. If I were to describe him with a single word, it would be delightful. Well-known for frequently playing ordinary character in extraordinary situations, Hanks is among the most relatable and down-to-earth people on the big screen. Having […]

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What It’s Like To Be A Blogger.

I’ve been blogging since 2014 and I wanted to share with you what it’s like. This serves two purposes: one it might inspire you to do the same or two it will show you the imperfection that is often hidden from blogging, and more broadly, success online.

You might be wondering what the difference is between writing and blogging. Here’s the best description I know of:

“Blogging is to writing what extreme sports are to athletics: more free-form, more accident-prone, less formal, more alive. It is, in many ways, writing out loud.” – Andrew Sullivan

Here’s what it’s like to be a blogger:

 

Some days it’s like walking down the street naked.

Blogging is all about being vulnerable and sharing the thoughts, ideas and beliefs that we’re all thinking in our busy brains, but too scared to say out loud or in front of others. After you write a piece that is quite revealing, it can feel like you’re not wearing any clothes.

You can walk into an open plan office and feel like the whole world is looking at you and judging you for something you said. As a blogger, you get used to this feeling. You learn pretty quickly that feeling naked is the only way to break your comfort zone and write something epic which helps people.

“The casual conversational tone of a blog is what makes it particularly dangerous” – Daniel B. Beaulieu

 

Some days it’s stressful.

The game with blogging is consistency. If you don’t write and publish enough, then your results start to drop off. Your writing can get worse and your audience may shrink. This very idea can cause unwanted stress.

Living with extra stress will not set you up to win. I’ve learned to develop a habit of blogging so that no matter the result, I don’t stop. This reduces a lot of the extra stress.

Thinking you can occasionally work on your passion is a delusion. Daily or at least multiple times a week is the only real way to do it right.

 

Some days it’s like having a conversation with yourself.

Many of the articles I write are hidden conversations with myself. When I’m writing about not giving up, I’m trying to inspire all of you and also have a conversation with myself at the same time.

By consistently blogging and talking with myself, I help work through the many mental challenges and daily emotional obstacles I encounter. I think we need more of this in the world.

Talking with ourselves through blogging is therapeutical and it helps us get out all of the stress, anxiety and fear that we bottle up inside ourselves.

 

Some days it sucks.

Like when I said blogging was therapy and it could help reduce mass murders. This statement had good intention behind it when I wrote it but it was poorly written, badly delivered, and worst of all, poorly timed – there was a mass murder on the same day.

This recipe for disaster blew up in my face. Some of the publications I write for wanted to fire me, a close friend was very angry with me and the public wanted me burned at the stake.

This day sucked big time. Yet all the other days where I inspired people and helped many through their darkest days made this horrible day bearable.

“There are never times when everything is hi-fives, free pizza and two for one drinks all day. There are good days and bad days in blogging. Such is life”

 

Some days you feel unstoppable.

Like when I got my first customer for my side business or got an email from a famous CEO I admired. These achievements made me feel unstoppable and like I could do anything. Naturally, this attitude leaked into the writing I did on these days.

 

Some days I CBF.

Maybe I had a big night out or perhaps didn’t get enough sleep. The answer is not always obvious and it doesn’t have to be. Some days I CBF and I do it anyway. I may blog in the form of responding to emails or writing things in my gratitude tracker.

I may even give a speech at Toastmasters and call that my blog for the day. The reality is that being a blogger is like any pursuit: some days you’re on and other days you’re off. Don’t try and be on 100% of the time or you’ll burn out. Be kind to yourself.

 

Some days you feel inspirational.

Like when I shared a video about a man blocking the street with his truck so a boy could cross the road. My commentary on the matter inspired many and my social media profiles lit up like a Christmas tree.

I felt like an inspiration on that day and I saw how important messages of kindness could be through the medium of blogging.

“I believed that maybe I could be the modern-day version of Martin Luther King. I saw unlimited possibility and how powerful our human existence is”

It was on this day I decided never ever to give up blogging.

 

Then there are days like today.

Where I look back on life before blogging. I look at the people that matter and I practice gratitude. I take a step back from the thousands of likes, comments and shares and just enjoy right now.

I stop wondering what it will be like if I hit Tim Ferriss or Tony Robbins status. I place the dreaming big on hold for a day. What I’m really saying is I just stop and embrace non-reactivity. The best way I do this is disconnect from the outcome.

Being outcome focused all the time and having to be productive can be exhausting if it’s not balanced out with moments of nothingness, blank space and time to think.

 

But most of the time, blogging is…

The best thing I’ve ever said yes to and what I recommend to everyone reading this.

Blogging is how you can help millions of people.

Blogging is how you discover the value you hold.

Blogging is how you find yourself.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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4 Essential Money-Making Tips You Should Follow

A recent study by Purdue University found that there’s an income line an individual must meet so that life feels more enjoyable. The study that was drawn from a Gallup World Poll covering over 1.7 million suggests that this income line is around $100K per year, especially for those living anywhere in America, Australia or Europe. The study suggests though the happiness curve flattens as you reach a certain degree of income, you still need money to feel happy, confident and relaxed. So how can you make more money?

Here are four money tips you need to follow to increase your income this year:

1. Find your unique PQO

“If you want to become extraordinary, you need to figure out the productive outputs that matter in your field or industry,” says the high-performance coach and bestselling author, Brendon Burchard.

One of Burchard`s keys to massive productivity – and making money – is focusing on what he calls ‘The Prolific Quality Output’ (PQO): The one thing you output that you must produce consistently to take your business to a new level.  A PQO is the essence of your business and whether you find it or not will determine how much money you`re going to make.

For salespeople, a PQO is contacting prospects. For entertainers, writers and Vloggers, it`s producing content every day. For athletes, it`s taking more throws, running more miles or swimming more laps. If you can figure out your PQO and produce more of it, then you will make more money.

“If you want to become extraordinary, you need to figure out the productive outputs that matter in your field or industry.” – Brendon Burchard

2. Build strong relationships with everyone

Moving from the bottom fifth to the top fifth of your classroom popularity can increase your income by 10 percent according to a recent study by Stanford University. Another study by psychologist Richard Wiseman also found that there`s a strong relationship between luck and the size of one`s network.

Wiseman, who surveyed over a thousand millionaires, lottery winners, and happily-married couples, noticed that building strong relationships was one thing for which lucky people were known for. They referred to themselves as ‘people collectors’ and used any chance they could get to connect with new people just to have fun.  

You can have more money if you commit to improving your social skills. Your network can give you media coverage, get you hired and promoted, and help you make more sales. First, you should understand the role that relationships play in your life and how they affect your happiness and income, then commit to becoming genuinely interested in people.

Set a goal each month to approach a certain number of people and make it a habit to follow up with these people. By the end of the year, and regardless of where you start, you will have a decent network, and you`ll feel more confident around people.

3. Be good at selling

Learning how to sell is a complementary skill to good networking. You have to become more persuasive – not manipulative, just persuasive – to convince people to pay for your products/services and buy into your ideas.

Almost every self-made millionaire or billionaire has mastered sales in one part of their lives. Look at Warren Buffet, Steve Jobs, even the Kardashians, all have a clue on what it takes to convince investors, build raving tribes, or generate enough buzz to make sure they stay under the spotlight for as long as possible.

You have to get out of your way and join the masters. Of course, the process will be painful and you will face rejections (lots of them). When someone asked self-made billionaire John Paul DeJoria what sales tip was the closest to his heart, he said, ‘look for rejections.’  DeJoria understands that the biggest hurdle people face in almost any business is rejection. If you know this in advance and are mentally prepared for it, you’ll have a much easier time staying upbeat and eventually succeeding.

“Frugality includes all the other virtues.” – Cicero

4. Have enough money to invest

When doing business, a good idea is as important as having enough cash flow to back it up. You can overcome almost every business hurdle if you have enough capital: advertising, getting mentored by experts or recruiting the best employees around…just to name a few.

You will also need money to invest in other businesses and maximize your time. The simple reason why the rich get richer is that they have enough money to invest. That`s all. You need to do two things so you can make more money:

• Save enough money each month to invest in your business (or other businesses). The amount you need to invest according to business consultant and bestselling author, Ramit Sethi, should be no less than 10 percent of your take-home pay (after taxes).  

• You have to work harder. Work harder and aim higher and you`ll subsequently have more money to invest

So where to start? Begin by learning how to sell. I have seen people with no degree make tons of money just because they are good with people and understand the secrets to good persuasion. If you`re still young, I suggest you get a job in sales and learn under fire – even a part-time or summer job will do you good. If you can`t, however, then I suggest you pick three sales/persuasion books of your choice and study and implement everything in them everywhere you go. This will take time and practice, but you`ll eventually reap the reward.

How do you save money? Comment below!

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There’s No Excuse For Not Living Your Passion: End Of Story.

There’s a hell of a lot of complaining going on. All of you want to live your passion or say that’s what you want.

Then you come home and watch Netflix for 4 hours and say:

“I’ll figure it out later.”

“It’s too hard.”

“There’s too much competition.”

“I don’t have enough money.”

Okay if we were having this conversation ten years ago, then these excuses may have been acceptable (probably not).

 

There’s something in this world you love.

Don’t give me this BS that you don’t know what your passion is. What do you happily do now for free? I am writing this article for free. Money or no money I’ll be blogging. So, my answer is going to be blogging.

It’s that f*cking binary. If playing video games is something you do a lot for free then that’s your passion. Monetize it. Do it.

 

The social part of your passion.

As humans, we’re social whether we like it or not. Living our passion all by ourselves is for many of us an idea that’s worse than death.

“One of the reasons you watch so much Netflix is so you can talk about it at work on Monday with your colleagues”

You have the strategy to find your passion in the previous point. The strategy took me five sentences to write. Next, you’re going to need to make it social. Find other people that love the same thing as you and go all red-faced with excitement when they talk about it.

Search far and wide. No matter how obscure your passion is, there are other people out there that are crazy like you. Just like ideas are a dime a dozen, your passion is almost certainly not unique. Sorry to be the grim reaper and bring you this news. Someone had to do it, so it may as well be me.

 

And then there’s complaining…

If there is one thing I hate, it’s people who whinge about not being able to live their passion. They spend so much time focused on the problem and the challenges that they never get started with anything.

Complaining is for losers. At this point in our human existence, anyone of us can do something epic and tie it to our passion. Our friend Zucks (founder of Facebook) is even bringing Internet for free to the parts of the world that have none.

Your local library has the internet if you really can’t get it. There’s never been a better time to do what you love. All the tools are there. You’ll need three things:

–    Epic content that is uniquely you

–    A mindset that comes from embracing personal development

–    A solution to a problem. This could be simple such as entertainment for a bored person.

 

You already have the time to live your unique passion.

The word “busy” is thrown around like a toilet paper roll. People say the word now more than they greet people. It’s a default word that shows you are a 21st century hero that owns a smartphone and can surf the internet.

My question to you is this: “Busy doing what?” We can all use up our time. Heck, I can sit on the couch and chew up time.

“The only way to use your time correctly is to use a disproportionate amount of it on your passion”

That means whenever you have two options in front of you, you’ll choose your passion first in 99.9% of circumstances.

Quit telling me (and the world) that you don’t have time. You do have time for your passion if you make it the only priority and choose your passion. Achieving progress has never been easier and tracking progress is even easier again.

Stop standing in the way of your passions and putting other activities in the way of your dreams. You’re making these choices – no one else is.

 

Sustained focus must not be forgotten.

Even if you choose your passion, you’ll never achieve anything meaningful unless you focus. This means moving distractions out of the way and being unwavering in your pursuit to put the work in.

“All this passion talk sounds great. Throw in a few nice images with fists in the air and we’ve got a self-help party. It’s all pointless unless you embrace your ability to focus and reach flow states”

This will require you to go deep and invest blocks of time in one specific area. Let me give you an example. I have been posting my articles on lots of social media channels and experimenting with video, audio, interviews, etc.

I found that I wasn’t going deep enough in one area. Instead, I now have only two social channels and everything else has been removed. Twitter, in particular, was taking up a lot of time and producing zero results.

Outside of blogging, I was also reading a lot of books. This was draining my time and moving me away from my passion. I still read and believe it to be powerful but now I only read books that are phenomenal. Many of the books I was reading previously were adding no value to my life.

Reducing my reading time has given me more time for blogging which is the underlining passion I have. Even with a tough decision like doing less reading – which many say is the holy grail habit in their lives – you have to be brutal with your passion.

Making these uncomfortable decisions to focus at all costs on your passion is how you start seeing a return. That return, by the way, is fulfillment.

 

What starts out as one passion, can become something different.

That’s what happened to me. What started out as a passion for music and interviewing people turned into blogging about personal development and entrepreneurship. Part of the reason you may not be living your passion is that you haven’t embraced this concept.

Your excuse for not living your passion could be nothing more than a simple case of what I like to call “Mistaken Passion.”

You may be close to your real passion but not on the bullseye just yet. There’s no reason to have a mental breakdown and seek sympathy from your drinking buddy’s tiger. We’ve all encountered this universal challenge.

The key is to keep pivoting around your current passion like a tribal dance until you find the groove. Experiment around your passion with other closely aligned interests, people or social media audiences. Somewhere in all of the haze will be your true passion.

 

The only answer is yes.

Overcomplicating has become somewhat of a drug that many choose to indulge on to avoid taking action. The only answer to the question “Will I live my passion?” is yes. There’s no “maybe, perhaps in the future or I haven’t found it yet.”

The only answer is “Yes, I’ll live my passion starting from right now and I won’t stop until I find out what the exact formula is to my own passion.” There is no book or course you can take on passion. The only judge is you and passion comes from experience.

 

Rant on passion = over.

I don’t want to see another email or instant message about why you’re not living your passion. Whatever the answer is you provide about why you’re not living your passion is only an excuse. No one can stop your endless excuses except for you.

The only answer from now on is “Yes I am going to live my passion right now!”

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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How to Stop Limiting Your Potential: 3 Eye-Opening Insights That Can Change Your Life

Have you ever seen one of those videos on social media showing how you’ve been using certain products, or eating certain foods, wrong your whole life? And you say to yourself, “Wow! I never thought of doing it that way!” That’s a little like how I felt when my personal growth mentor (and future husband) gave me some insights on the life challenges I was struggling to resolve when we were first dating.

These insights turned my whole world upside down! I couldn’t unlearn what I had learned, so I had to change my old ways of functioning if I wanted to move forward. It was hard, but it was worth it.

Here are the 3 life changing insights I learned that can change your life:

1. If what you think, what you do, and what you say don’t line up, it can hurt your self-esteem and your credibility.

I said and did things that represented the person I wanted to be on the outside, while I hid the things I wasn’t proud of and lied just to keep on people’s good sides. My mentor figured this dishonest behavior probably was connected to the low self-esteem I struggled with (which affected everything in my life), and he was right!

Besides hurting how I felt about myself, he pointed out, I could lose my friends’ or family’s trust the second anyone found out I wasn’t being genuine. He said if you want people to be able to count on you, you need to actually be the person you present yourself to be.

I practiced paying attention and catching myself every time I was being dishonest. It can take a lot of work, but if you get your values/beliefs, words, and actions in alignment, the person people see is the person that you are. Some will like it and others will hate it, but those who stick with you are the ones who appreciate, respect, and admire you for who you are not for the image of yourself you present.

You will feel better about who you are, your relationships will benefit because people will trust you, and your word will actually mean something.

“Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone else happy doesn’t make you nice, it just makes you a liar.”  – Jenny O’Connell

2. What you believe about yourself dictates what you chose to say; but what you chose to say also dictates what you believe about yourself.

Another way I was unknowingly limiting myself was through my language. It seems like common sense that what you say aloud reflects what you believe, but what surprised me was that you can also reprogram your beliefs with what you chose to say.  

Say “I need this” enough times when the truth is you want it, and you will begin to believe that you need it. Limiting words are things like can’t, always, never, and need. Non-limiting words/phrases are things like seems like, feels like, and right now.

For example, the statement “I can’t handle my life – it’s too hectic” makes you feel hopeless and disempowered, versus “I’m struggling to handle my life right now,” which reminds you that what you’re going through is temporary, and there’s hope for change in the future. The truth isn’t that you “can’t do it,” the truth is that you’re having a hard time “right now.

Whether you use limiting words/phrases about your abilities aloud or to yourself, you’re teaching your mind what to believe. Instead of using limiting words and phrases that aren’t true, try switching to more accurate and encouraging ones. Such as seems like, feels like, or right now.

3. You don’t need to control how you feel – you need to control how you act.

Trying to control your emotions is like trying to control waves in the ocean, you just can’t do it. And to make things worse, the harder you try the more frustrated you get – adding to your emotional overload. It wastes a ton of energy and gets you nowhere.

Instead, try to let your feelings be; realize that they will pass and focus on what you can control – what you say and how you act. You can feel angry but still talk calmly with the person you’re angry with. You can feel hurt but not treat the person you feel hurt by coldly or rudely.

Not being aware of the separation between feelings and actions can get you into a ton of trouble. I used to believe that if my feelings were strong enough I couldn’t help but act on them. Absolutely not true! This got me into trouble bigtime when I was younger.

I therefore believed that in order to act how I wanted I had to control how I felt. Learning that this too was complete B.S. changed my life. I no longer felt I had to put energy into doing something that was impossible.

“Heroes and cowards feel exactly the same  fear. Heroes just react to it differently.”  – Cus D’Amato 

Wondering how to put these insights into action?

Start by growing your self awareness – this is the beginning of all growth. If you pay attention to yourself, you can align your values, words, and actions for a better relationship with yourself and with others, help make your mind work for you instead of against you, and handle overwhelming emotions without doing things you’ll regret later.

What insights have you learned that helped you see the world and/or yourself in a new and positive light? Let us know in the comments!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

from
https://addicted2success.com/life/how-to-stop-limiting-your-potential-3-eye-opening-insights-that-can-change-your-life/