7 Ways to Bounce Back from Losing Your Job

Whether you’ve been laid off, fired or even quit voluntarily, losing a job can land like a kick in the crotch. It’s not just the vanished paychecks, you may feel like a door has slammed behind you, shutting you out from an identity, a community. You may find yourself in a storm of difficult emotions: shock, anxiety, shame, anger. That’s all normal, but it’s hard to handle.

Here are 7 ways you can bounce back from losing a job:

1. Grieve privately and develop a public “exit statement”

Many of us process our feelings by “venting.” Okay, but be careful who you complain to about what went down with your job, because everyone you know is potentially part of your job hunting network. Any acquaintance might become influential, however indirectly, when you start looking for a new job. If you seem upset or bitter they may well sympathize, but they may hesitate to recommend you or to make introductions.

So avoid talking about your job loss to people other than your closest friends and family until you’ve had a chance to calm down. Meanwhile, prepare a brief statement you can use to answer the question “What happened to your job?” Keep it short and sweet, like this:

“A business decision was made that eliminated 10 positions, including mine. There’s a silver lining to it, because now I can look for an opportunity that’s a better fit.”

If you were fired, your exit statement might sound more like this:”I’ve left X company. There have been some changes in the company/my role/my interests that make it not as great a fit for me as it was in the past. The bright side is, this gives me an opportunity to get out and find something better. I’m going to look for opportunities doing . . .”

Prepare your exit statement as soon as possible after leaving, because there are many situations where your “between jobs” status may come up in conversation. And whatever you do, don’t freak out on Facebook, traumatize on Twitter and sniffle on Snapchat. The Internet is Forever. Keep your online image positive.

“Success is measured by how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” – George S. Patton

2. If you’ve been fired, know you’re in good company

Many extremely successful people have gotten the axe, from Lee Iacocca to Madonna. They went on to bigger and better things. If you’re angry, just remember that living well is the best revenge.

3. Give immediate attention to any safety nets available to you

If you’re eligible for unemployment insurance, file for it without delay. Consider COBRA or another health insurance option; it may be expensive but a medical emergency while unemployed can be crippling. Contact your creditors and ask about short-term hardship programs that might let you miss payments without penalties.

4. Nurture your natural resilience and heal yourself

We all have some amount of resilience, an ability to bounce back. We can build it up, according to the American Psychological Association, by doing these things:

• Accept that change is a part of living.
• Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems.
• Move toward your goals.
• Take care of yourself.

Taking care of yourself may not come naturally if your job separation was traumatic, but moping around the house watching TV, drinking and drowning your woes in junk food will leave you more depressed than you started. Treat your brain and body with respect.

Effective ways to heal include brief therapies such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), hypnotherapy, prayer, meditation, journaling, exercise, and learning to encourage yourself.

Just waiting for time to “heal all wounds” is not always such a great plan.

5. Take some time off if you want but beware of the gap

Employers are suspicious of job seekers who linger in “long-term unemployment,” generally defined as six months or more. The longer that gap grows, the harder it gets to sell yourself. Don’t let that happen to you. Take a renewing vacation or “staycation” for a few weeks, but set a date to get started on your job search.

If you’re determined to take a lengthy sabbatical, do something constructive that will look good on your resume. Volunteer, travel, go back to school, join the Peace Corps, write a book. Have something to say for yourself when you’re ready to go back to work. If it’s work-related, all the better.

“When everything seems to be going against you remember that an airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

6. Review your career direction if necessary

Does losing your job make you want to rethink your career? Now is the time to explore your options. Use the “Advanced Search” features on sites like Indeed and LinkedIn to enter various combinations of skills and qualifications. See what jobs come up. Do informational interviews, read a book or get career counseling.

Free-lance work can be a great test flight and gap-filler, and it may develop into something more. When I was laid off from my corporate training department job in 2008 I assumed I wanted to continue in the same field. I found myself on the verge of being hired, only to realize I had zero excitement about taking the job. I turned it down, thinking there must be something better.

With unemployment benefits running out I needed cash. Since I had some background in writing resumes and coaching job seekers, I put an ad on Craigslist and started getting clients. I discovered I loved the work and being self-employed. It grew into a profitable new career and I’ve never looked back.

There are endless possibilities for operating your own business. If entrepreneurism appeals to you and if you’ve got what it takes to be happy in it, go for it. Most people, on the other hand, prefer the stability of a regular job.

7. Plan a “best practices” job search

You may have lucked into jobs in the past. Maybe you were referred by a contact or recruited by headhunters. That may happen again this time, or it may not. You may be surprised how much you need to work hard – and work smart – this time around.

Don’t just sit in front of the computer applying to jobs hundreds of other people are applying to. Get out and do some networking meetings and informational interviews.  

Make sure your resume, LinkedIn profile, cover letters and interview skills are the best they can be. Study articles and books by job search experts. Consider hiring a career coach. All of this can help you get back in the game a lot faster.

In the long run, losing your job may be the best thing that ever happened to you. A few months down the road you may find yourself in a better role, thinking what a blessing in disguise it was to leave that old job in the dust. Turn losing your job into the start of a better life.

How do you recover from losing your job? Comment below!

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I’m Consistently Being Featured In Medium’s Top Stories – Here’s How.

All of us who visit Medium.com secretly want to be featured, gain claps and spread our message to the world.

Many of you email me and ask me how I managed to get featured in major publications both on Medium and off Medium (like CNBC).

There’s no point holding onto the strategies. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and then no one gets to benefit from what I’ve learned. I want you all to share your message so I can selfishly read it to and be inspired.

Enough preamble, sarcasm and pointless self-promotion. Let’s get to the advice.

Here’s how I consistently get featured in Medium’s Top Stories:

 

Be you – don’t be afraid to make a dick of yourself.

There’s nothing better than reading a bloggers work who clearly doesn’t care what people think about them. It’s refreshing to see people be vulnerable and be okay with making a dick of themselves.

Drop the mask and take the Micky out of your life.

Make us feel something.
Make us laugh.
Make us remember you.

Most of all, share some wisdom that can be valuable to all of us.

 

Leverage top publications.

Let’s keep this really simple: On Medium, you can either write under your own name or write for a publication. Always try and write for a publication.

Publications have their own followers whereas you probably have zero. By publishing through a Medium Publication, you leverage their audience – plain and simple.

Okay, next problem. There are hundreds of publications. Which one do I choose Yoda Tim?

1. Go to Google
2. Type Medium Top Publications
3. Start from the top of the list and work your way down

Okay, I could have given you the link but I want you to do some work.

Strategy One

So, you found the top publication. Congratulations you’ve mastered Google! Email the publication and ask to be added as a writer. Send them an exclusive article that is your best work. If your content is good, then they might add you as a writer.

Strategy Two

Start with a lesser known publication who doesn’t have every man, woman and dog emailing them to be a writer, write some stuff, gain some traction, then try a top publication again.

Follow this process, rinse, and then repeat.

 

Real stories.

Medium readers are junkies for stories. Share stories that are interesting that have happened to you or someone you know.

“People will clap the sh*t out of your articles on Medium if you share interesting stories that we can all learn from”

Use a story and share some lessons. This format works well.

If you have no good stories (I highly doubt it) turn a recent book you have read into an article. Share the lessons from the book in your own words, with your own opinions.

 

Show the real you.

There’s Tim Denning who has a cookie cutter profile picture taken by a $400 an hour photographer, with a perfectly dry-cleaned suit and an amazing bio. He’s never missed a meditation session, goes to the gym, eats healthy food and is impeccable with his time.

Then there’s the real Tim Denning who suffered from anxiety, had a near miss with cancer, has a fear of public speaking, procrastinates a lot, doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time, and can be a half whit sometimes. Version two of the above is the one you want to aim for.

“Medium readers don’t fall for fake Instagram models with perfect bio’s”

They want the truth. Give it to them.

 

Being nice to people who contact me.

Once you get a few readers on Medium that clap you until you’re deaf and send you messages, you’ll have to respond to them. The first tip is put your email address in your bio. Make it easy for people to engage with you.

When you get messages from readers, respond to them – not every single one otherwise you’ll never actually write any articles. But engage with as many as you can. A three-sentence reply is often enough.

You’ll get messages from fans asking for your opinion or advice. Give it to them. Be human. Be nice. Be humble. If you get asked the same questions a lot (I know I do), then write articles like this and send them a link to it when they ask you a question you’ve answered before.

Take a few fans under your wing. Send them messages which help them and give away all your secrets. These fans will become raving fans and that will make your content spread tenfold.

 

Collaborating with other bloggers.

Having other Medium bloggers help you is another little hack.

For example, my buddy Anthony Moore who also writes for Medium, shares my stuff and quotes me, and I do the same – I’m doing it right now

Other bloggers can teach you what they do and then you can pick and choose the bits that work for you. Blogging is a community. Don’t be all about you and your articles. Share other people’s work and collaborate.

 

Writing consistently (minimum three times a week).

I’m about to sound like Gary Vaynerchuk. You have to do the work. Meaning: you must publish articles to be consistently featured in the top stories section of Medium. That line makes sense if you think about it.

“If people see you once a month they’ll forget you because the Internet will distract them with notifications, porn, sugar-rich food, fake models and a feeling they are not enough”

The only way to rise above this is to be consistent. You need to be aiming for three articles a week if you want traction on Medium. Ideally, every day if you can.

There’s always a break out blogger or two who write one article that goes viral and then you never hear from them again – this is not the norm though.

 

Reading other people’s blog posts.

Guess what? If you follow the previous step and write heaps then you may have days where you run out of ideas. That’s why it’s good to read other people’s content.

You’ll be inspired by other headlines and stories, and then you can change up what you’ve read and give your side of the story.

After all, there’s no one person who is right 100% about the topic of fear as an example. We all have a viewpoint that’s slightly different or sometimes radically different. Share yours.

 

Keeping my stories and advice simple (easy to follow language)

The best compliment I consistently get is this: “Tim, your advice is really simple and English is not even my first language.”

The whole world doesn’t bow down to western culture or understand English for that matter. Keep this in mind when you are writing.

Keep your advice simple.

Keep your English simple and try not to use too many big words. None of us can be arsed having to use the dictionary every few words just so you can feel smart when you are writing. It’s not about you.

 

Gaining feedback from publication owners.

Just because you submit an article on Medium to a publication – or for that matter any publication – it does not mean they will accept it and publish it thus resulting in access to their valuable audience.

I write regularly for the Personal Growth Publication and I noticed a few articles were getting rejected. I emailed the publication and asked them the following:

1. Hey, is there anything I can do to increase the quality of my content?
2. Are there any types of articles I should avoid submitting?
3. Generally, what are the main reasons my articles are missing the mark?

As long as you ask nicely and be polite, the publication will tell you. Once you know more about how they think and what they are looking for, you can be more targeted with what you submit and therefore increase the rate you’re published.

Happy publication, happy audience, happy blogger – that’s how it goes on Medium.

Use these tips, and you too can get featured on Medium’s top stories.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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How to Ace Your Success: 6 Straightforward Ways to Achieve High Results

In 1922, Albert Einstein was in Tokyo when he learned that he was going to be awarded the Nobel Prize. Out of cash, his “tip” to a bellboy at his hotel was a handwritten note, which he told would be worth more than a tip someday…it was. At a recent auction that note went for $1.3 million. What was in that note? His recipe for success, “A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.”

Many who are probably wealthier than you (Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, etc.) have defined success differently. True, they have great wealth, but they have also come to understand that a successful life is one of balance – of passion for the work you do, of taking time to self-reflect, of giving back, and of building relationships. Through the years, I have learned a few things about getting to success. Maybe I will never be a billionaire or even a multi-millionaire, but I know now I will always be financially well off and a happier person because of a few behaviors I have learned.

Here are the six behaviors that you will want to think about:

1. Get Off Autopilot

Think about your daily routine. We get up, go through the same morning preparation for work, and then go about that work in almost robotic fashion. We commute to work or we sit down in our home office, as I do, and begin the same daily grind that consumes at least 8 hours of our time.

My epiphany came from a single experience. I had a late afternoon meeting with a client and, as I was walking to my car, I passed a concert hall where a gospel group was performing. I could go home and hammer out the details of the contract or I could take an hour or so and have a new experience.

Something drove me through those doors. What I discovered was not religion, but passion. I didn’t make huge life changes, but what I did do is reflect on what I felt passionate about.

2. Talk Less, Listen More

Sometimes we are not really listening to what other people are saying. I was so bad at this that I could not even remember the names of people being introduced to me in meetings. It took a simple half-day workshop on communication to make me see the error in my ways.

I have changed a bad habit. When I am introduced, I repeat the individual’s name in my response (it helps me remember that name); I ask a question rather than launch into “talk.” What this change has accomplished, I cannot place on a graph or chart. However, I can say that when I listen rather than talk, I build business relationships that result in contracts.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey

3. Moderation in All Things

This has come from ancient Greek philosophy and it holds true today. The operative word here is balance, in work, in play, in diet, and in relationships. When you lead a balanced life of all things in moderation, you are actually more interesting to be around. You have more general knowledge; you have more things to talk about.

People come to enjoy you more, and you can relate to their interests too. If you are obsessed with football, for example, and watch every televised game, follow the rankings, etc., you will have little else to talk about. When you meet with a potential customer, client, or even in a job interview, what else can you talk about?

4. Positivity

If you have never read Norman Vincent Peale’s book, The Power of Positive Thinking, read it now or pick up other contemporary books on the matter. Here is the point: Our thoughts control our actions. Your mood controls everything from your physical posture, your projection of confidence and enthusiasm, and your approach to others.

It’s hard sometimes, but one thing I have done is this: I have a sign on my fridge door – “Gratitude.” I see it every morning, and it reminds me to list, in my head, all of the things that I have to be grateful for, including the skills and talents I have. Try it… it works.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” – Helen Keller

5. Learn Something New Every Day

We cannot become stagnant, it makes us less interesting to others and narrows our horizons. The most prominent successful people state that you have to set aside time for self-improvement every single day.

What do you do for self-improvement? You learn something new. It may be about another successful person or a great new business idea; it may be a new skill you pick up from a class; it may be time spent reflecting on yourself and gaining more insight into how you can get better at what you do.

Give yourself one hour a day for learning – read, think, journal – or any combination of activities.

6. Read Case Studies

Want to get better in your career field? Dig in and do case study research. Whether these are stories of individual successes in your business niche or company successes through new ideas and unique practices, you can gain powerful ideas that you can either emulate or that will stimulate some creative thought within you about actions you can take.

There is no magic formula for success, but successful people do have some things in common. They exude positivity, they have passion and enthusiasm for their work, they have found a good balance between work and life, they continue to learn new things, and they get off autopilot. Implement some of these behaviors and see how it changes your life.

Which one of these are you going to implement starting today? Comment below!

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https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/how-to-ace-your-success-6-straightforward-ways-to-achieve-high-results/

We Don’t Realize How Lucky We Have It.

I’ve been thinking recently about the crisis that is unfolding in my career. I’m likely to be out of a job soon and this very idea is causing me to take for granted what I already have.

I live in a country where there is endless opportunity, no war, hardly any violence, beautiful beaches and really healthy food.

Sometimes we need to take a long hard look at ourselves and realize what we have instead of being lost in thoughts of what we don’t have.

Let’s use my own situation to analyze what I have. I have:

– Some really good storytelling skills
– Great insight into social media
– Excellent sales skills
– A history of successful entrepreneurship
– An income generating side business
– Some evolving public speaking skills
– Phenomenal health

Now think about your own situation. When you think long and hard, what do you have?

 

We are actually very lucky.

Yes, you’ve heard it before but I’m going to say it again. The odds of you being born are massively not in your favor. Here’s the fact from my friend Google:

“The probability of you existing at all comes out to 1 in 10 2,685,000”

Just by being born you are already lucky. There’s no need to feel sorry for yourself because you’ve already won.

When you go through a rough time like I am with my career right now, the way you maintain your mindset is realizing how lucky you are.

All of us are already lucky and by remembering that in the tough times, it gives us the energy to stop ourselves from giving it all up and throwing in the towel.

During moments of chaos, you must remember how lucky you already are.

 

Someone may not see your talent but that doesn’t mean you’re not lucky.

That’s what I am telling myself today. People in my career right now are not seeing my real talent but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any or that I’m not lucky to be alive.

Sometimes the reality is the opposite of what you think. Sometimes the fact someone can’t see your talent has more to do with their weaknesses. Maybe that person who doesn’t believe in you is just very average and hasn’t developed any greatness of their own (yet).

 

Rejection often has nothing to do with you at all.

That’s why right now I’m not personally having a bar of it. I encourage you to say the following lines to yourself:

“I can be extraordinary regardless of outside opinions.”
“I will not let rejection blind me from my true talents.”
“Everything happens for a reason and this moment will appear lucky later on.”

 

The concept of luck.

My idea of luck is pretty extreme. I believe that the more good you do and the more you help others, the luckier you get. Becoming lucky has nothing to do with luck at all.

You can generate perceived luck by following this formula.

You can’t even start though unless you begin to see you’re lucky first.

“That’s because scarcity blinds you from the abundance that each of us has access to”

 

Put things into perspective.

Things could be tough right now but they could be even worse. That very idea should cheer you up right now.

There are highs and lows in our career and unless you can embrace both sides of this reality, you’ll get lost in a negative reality that forces you to think you’re not already lucky.

I’m guilty of that too – especially today.

What we must remember is so cliché: we have air in our lungs and are alive. This means we are already luckier than most things that exist in the universe.

Focus on how you can get to where you want to go rather than being lost in what you’re lacking. By doing this, you’ll realize how lucky you have it.

The job loss, divorce, sickness, startup failure – whatever – will serve you so much more when you realize how lucky you are with or without those challenges.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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5 Ways to Exude Confidence Everywhere You Go

Whether you’ve moved to a new city, are looking for a job, want to start dating or simply make friends, networking will prove to be valuable. The challenge is networking in a way that goes beyond introductions and an exchange of business cards that get lost at the bottom of your desk. Especially if you lack confidence, leaving your house to go meet complete strangers can be incredibly challenging. Still, even if you’re socially awkward and an introvert, you can exude confidence and ace your networking goals.

I know this because I have learned to become extrovert for the sake of business networking. Naturally, at any given moment I’d prefer to be in bed, reading, or binge watching Netflix original series, but in order to not be a total shut-in in a city where I’ve lived for less than a year, I actually have to get out and talk to people.

This requires a heap load of motivation, focusing on my objective and reminding myself the entire Lyft ride there that I need to build relationships. Over the years, I’ve gotten better, and although it’s a mental exercise to get myself to an event, once I arrive, I ace it.

Here’s 5 ways you can exude confidence at any networking event you go to:

1. Map out your networking event plan

Anxiety has a way of making you a no-show although you RSVP’d on Eventbrite two weeks ago. Before registering for events, think through why you need to be there, what you want to get out of the event, who you want to meet and how you can turn it into an opportunity to advance a personal goal.

It helps to look up organizers, speakers, sponsors and attendees if that information is available. Meetup.com shares all of that information publicly so you can start there for finding events that work for you. Plan to leave well in advance so that you don’t add additional stress by running late, having to look for parking or worrying about getting lost.

2. Present your best self

Good personal grooming makes you feel good about yourself. Even if you’re not red carpet ready, clean clothes, styled hair, and a fresh face can make you feel appealing. It also has the added benefit of shifting how people perceive you. Well in advance, work on skin care to reduce blemishes that may make you self-conscious when speaking to people.

Choose an outfit you feel comfortable in and iron your clothes so you appear polished and don’t have to fuss with things that are ill-fitting or that make you stand out. Care for your hygiene so that you don’t repel people with bad breath or body odor. It seems obvious, but taking extra effort in this regard can help you feel a lot better about stepping out into the public and meeting people.

“If you’re presenting yourself with confidence, you can pull off pretty much anything.” – Katy Perry

3. Make introductions early on

When you first enter into the room, chances are, people look up and notice. Instead of heading straight to the refreshment table, let the energy you feel when you enter the room propel you through a round of introductions. You can start with a general wave, , scan the room, make eye contact, then walk up to a person or group and say, “Hi, my name is.” The worst part is then over and with the courage you’ve gained from meeting the first few people, move on to the next few people and begin conversations.

4. Don’t overthink the conversation

Following the introduction, don’t go into a prepared speech, simply allow the conversation to flow by sharing why you’re there, asking the other person if this is their first time attending, and even pointing out cool things you learned about the organizers or speakers when researching the event. It’s also recommended to share a story, since these are memorable and impact one’s influence. Another strategy is to listen well.

In How To Win Friends And Influence People, Dale Carnegie shares a story of how active listening led to a person believing Carnegie was an expert conversationalist. The conversation usually is what people consider the hard part, but people don’t expect perfection and if you find some act weird, take comfort in knowing that you may not see them ever again. Basically, take it easy.

“Don’t think, just do.” – Horace

5. Practice mindfulness to relax

If you’re nervous, you will tend to tense up making you look uncomfortable and feel stressed out. Sometimes while holding a conversation, the other person will be long winded and so looking interested can prove challenging. In each of these instances, a helpful tactic is to practice mindfulness. You can begin to focus on your breathing, inhaling and exhaling slowly, so you can relax.

You can focus on their eyes and count how many times they say a particular word to distract from any negative feelings and remain engaged. Keep your feet firmly planted on the floor and allow yourself to be present, fully noticing all your senses. Mindfulness is a practice so do it regularly in order to employ it in high-anxiety moments like networking.

Networking doesn’t have to be earth-shattering, it can be an opportunity to stretch yourself and practice coming out of your shell. By practicing these tips, you can present yourself confidently and make acquaintance with cool new people.

What are some things you do to help at a networking event? Comment below!

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https://addicted2success.com/life/5-ways-to-exude-confidence-everywhere-you-go/

3 Powerful Ways to Boost Your Self Confidence When Things Go South

There will be multiple times in your life where you feel the entire weight of the world on your shoulders. Things won’t go your way, you will lose friends, clients and a sense of who you are. But that comes with the territory of being an entrepreneur. Even some of the most powerful individuals deal with self doubt. Many face the imposter syndrome at some point.

However, the true test of an entrepreneur is how they bring themselves back in the game when things don’t go their way. What type of person do you become when your back is against the wall? Do you give up? Do you thrive under the pressure?

How do the most successful entrepreneurs go through hell and somehow manage to snap back into the game? They play the cards they were dealt with as if it was the hand they wanted, but most importantly, they had the confidence in themselves that no matter what they were going through, they were going to make it out.

“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.” – Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

I recently interviewed one of the most successful entrepreneurs I know who’s shared the stage with business legends such as Tony Robbins, John Maxwell & Phil Knight. Ed Mylett is a massive serial entrepreneur who’s been interviewed by people like Lewis Howes, Grant Cardone and Matt Manero and is a peak performance coach for some of the top athletes in the UFC and in the NFL.

Here are 3 things I learned about dealing with self confidence:

1. Learn From Someone Who Has a Great Track Record

One of the main reasons why personal development doesn’t work is because of who’s teaching. There’s many people in the online space now who can teach something that they’ve never even done before, it happens all the time. However, the way to avoid that is to do your due diligence and find someone that has a proven track record of not just personal development – but enough life experience.

It’s tougher to teach someone what to do in a certain position if you’ve never even been in that position before. So first things first you need to find the right person to learn from. This will be one of the biggest game changers in your life since you’re not learning from an unreliable source.

2. Self Confidence Comes From Self Trust

Confident people are self trusting people. One of the key ingredients in self confidence is self trust. The same reason you should learn from someone who has a great track record is the same reason you should be confident in yourself.

If you have a track record, why should you doubt yourself? You’ve done it plenty of times before right? It’s nothing new. You’ve proven it time and time again, therefore there’s no need of convincing. If you feel like you have imposter syndrome, it’s because you’re not grounded in who you are as a person and in your abilities.

Is it normal to have doubts? Of course, it happens to everyone. But Tony Robbins says that when successful people are in a funk they don’t stay there. Other people stay in that downward spiral because they don’t know how to get out of it. Personal Development starts with keeping the promises you’ve made to yourself.  

“You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Don’t Get Addicted to Other People’s Opinions

One of the reasons you may not have self confidence is because you let your mind be controlled and attacked by other people’s opinions of you. One of my favorite sayings is that “water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship.” This means you can only let the negative opinions of others get to you if you give them any value.

In this era it’s so easy to get consumed by what other people think because of social media. It’s all about the likes, how many selfies you can get…etc. However these short term bursts of approval will eventually govern your life. You will start to live your life based on approval from others instead of where true fulfillment comes from and that’s yourself.

How do you boost your confidence when things aren’t going well? Comment below!

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https://addicted2success.com/life/3-powerful-ways-to-boost-your-self-confidence-when-things-go-south/

Are You Ambitious? 7 Simple Ways to Take Back Control of Your Life

Have you ever been told off for being too ambitious? Have you ever been reprimanded for trying too hard? For working too hard? For not taking a break from something that you were really passionate about?

I have, and I’ll tell you that it doesn’t feel good. Ambition is defined as a strong desire to do or achieve something, or the desire and determination to achieve success. It is a state of being and a mindset that requires training to cultivate, and it is something that should be nurtured when it is found. While it comes naturally to some, others need to put in long hours to make ambition part of them.

The case for being ambitious is strong. Ambition has been key to human survival, and a strong sense of purpose and determination to achieve something is something that runs through each level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. If you are going hungry and you don’t have food or clothing, your life is at risk and your physiological needs are put into stark relief. The solution to these needs is also clear – find food or die. Find clothing to keep warm or die. This strong desire to get food and clothing is ambition, albeit basic ambition.

“All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work.” – Calvin Coolidge

So why has ambition become a bad word in recent years?

The importance of ambition has been brought into question in recent decades as the standard of living and the overall quality of life has increased. Most people in the west have brought themselves out of poverty and no longer live hand to mouth. The two base requirements as outlined in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (physiological and safety) have for the most part been taken care of. The world is now inundated with a variety of services and solutions to help people with the next two steps in the hierarchy (love / belonging and self esteem).

As an American living in London, I’ve experienced a wide range of thoughts and feelings about ambition and workaholic habits. In U.S. cities such as New York and Washington D.C., people tend to be more vocally ambitious than those I have met in London. At the same time, people in the UK seem to have a greater appreciation for work-life balance. I’ve also found that often times people will mirror the general sentiments of those around them in relation to their ambitions, and this will spill over from work into social lives and vice versa.

If you surround yourself with people at work that waste time, don’t make real efforts to progress, or constantly look for ways to avoid necessary tasks, you will find it nearly impossible to develop or grow an ambitious mindset. At the same time, if you surround yourself with people who are driven to succeed, who care about being recognized for their skills, and appreciate the value of hard work, you will be better positioned to succeed in your own search for ambition.

Here are 7 ways to support ambition in your life:

1. Conduct an audit of what is most important to you

Take a half an hour out of your life and sit down somewhere quiet where you can think and write. Take out a pen and paper and write down and rank the top 5 things that are most important to you in your life (i.e. your health, your career, your relationships, etc.). Once you’ve written down the top 5 things that are most important to you in a short sentence each, write 2 to 3 more sentences about why each is important to you.

2. Develop an ambition habit

Once you’ve written down and ranked your most important aspects of your life, consider what success means in each of these areas. Sure, you may not have the body you want right now, or the relationship with the perfect girl, so consider the steps that are required to reach those goals.

3. Create a system for taking regular action

A key part of this process is the development of a system for taking regular action. Write down a list of tasks that would help you get closer to achieving your ambitions for each of the 5 things that are important to you. Once you have a list of between 5 and 10 tasks listed per key area, choose 1 to complete per day. Break out one target area to focus on per day of the week, with one task to complete for that activity each day. The more closely you track these actions, the stronger your action habit will become.

4. Visualize success and clearly define a BHAG

BHAG stands for Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal. Pick one focus area (ideally your most important focus area) and define what your BHAG is for that area. What does the dream scenario look like for you? Break down that BHAG into smaller steps and start moving forward, using the action habits you’ve created.

“Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

5. Look for support from people that are smarter than you

Look for opportunities to develop a Mastermind Group or a network of mentors that can help you to achieve your goals. There is a saying that goes “your network is your net worth”. This means that your value increases based on the connections you make and the smart people you can ask for assistance.  

6. Focus on small successes

Not everything will go according to plan. In the Silicon Valley people see failure as a badge of honor and an opportunity for learning. But failure can be disheartening. Ambition can be cultivated by regularly attempting to see the small successes among the failures and finding ways to take insights away from those mistakes.

7. Make your ambition about bringing others up with you

The best way to cultivate a lasting sense of ambition is to focus on bringing up those around you to your level of understanding. Help those less fortunate than you reach the next highest rung on the later to self fulfillment and self discovery, and you will never be at a loss for ambition.

Comment below and let us know how ambitious you are!

from
https://addicted2success.com/life/are-you-ambitious-7-simple-ways-to-take-back-control-of-your-life/