What Happened To Me When I Said NO To Meetings For A Month.

5 Counterintuitive Ways to Make the Most Out of Your Time

Do you think you’ll accomplish everything you want to before you die? Do you sometimes worry you won’t reach your goals? Do you have a plan to get what you want? If you’re like most people, you often have trouble squeezing in everything you want to do during the day, week or month, let alone everything you might want to accomplish in a lifetime. Updates from friends on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat come in to your phone at all hours of the day and night. Invites to activities, events, festivals, etc. blow up your phone on a regular basis.

At the office, things aren’t much better. Your Outlook inbox explodes with messages from clients, colleagues, or your boss, and everyone wants something different. You use multiple tools for managing your tasks, and every month something new seems to come out which promises to save you time and reduce the number of distractions in your life. Let me break the bad news, it won’t.

The truth is, you have more time than you think to accomplish what you want out of life. As of 2016, men tend to live on average 69 years, versus 72 years for women. If most people start work at 18 and continue on until retirement around 65, this means you spend 47 years of your life working. You have, most likely, more time than you think to accomplish all that you want to do in this life. I urge you to slow down and take a few of these suggestions to heart as you think about how to get the most out of your days in the future.

Here are 5 ways to make the most out of your time here on earth:

1. Take personal days

The idea of taking a personal day has been around for a long time, but few people really consider the value of taking one on a regular basis. Whether this means leaving work early on the third Friday of every month to do some “life-admin” or taking an entire day off in the middle of the week once a month to rigorously outline your plans and objectives for the future, the value of a personal day dedicated to reflection and personal development is completely underrated in today’s go-go society. I would urge you to set aside an entire day (half-days won’t work, as they are likely to be encroached upon) and make a concerted effort to spend that time reflecting about what you want to accomplish and the steps you will take to get there.

 “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that other throw at him.” – David Brinkley

2. Structure in blank space for distraction free work

While taking time off to plan out your life and checking your personal progress is great, it is also important to structure small blocks of personal “switch off” time to let your mind wander during the typical work week. This may mean structuring in “strategic blocks” of one to two hours as suggested by Brian Moran and Michael Lennington in their book The 12 Week Year, or it may mean making a regular habit of doing “30 before 7:30” (30 minutes of concentrated work before 7:30am each morning) as suggested by Mel Robbins in her book The 5 Second Rule. Whatever you do, make sure you allow yourself some distraction free work time so that you can get into the flow.

3. Leave technology behind

We are tethered to our devices like never before, and we are rarely out of arm’s reach of something that can connect us to anyone (or any piece of information) in the world. I say this with some trepidation, because I am not entirely pleased about it. Sure, it is fantastic to have access to a device that can allow us to order food, call a car, create a professional looking video clip or photo, and post updates online all in the space of a few seconds, but it comes at a price.

Despite having the freedom to connect with anyone and do nearly anything from behind a touch screen device, we have effectively become servants for the same network of interconnected apps and platforms. So, at the risk of having you stop reading this article, I urge you to put down your device for at least 1 day a week and connect with people in more humanistic (face to face) ways.

4. Spend time with others not like you

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Think hard about that, because it will help define how you spend the rest of your life. If you believe that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with, you will need to be careful that you spend time with people that add to your life, rather than detract from it.

The more time you spend with people that come from similar backgrounds and share similar views as you, the more you will become closed off to the world around you. This is an easy habit to fall into, but it is one that can have dire consequences if you are serious about stretching yourself and reaching lofty goals. Go out and explore, and spend time with people that push you in new and exciting ways.

“I never dreamed about success, I worked for it.” – Estee Lauder

5. Have more fun

I have noticed more and more that people tend to take pride in how stressed out they are and how much they work when they’re in the office. They then swing to the opposite extreme during the weekends, getting belligerently drunk and partying or staying in and watching Netflix for 48 hours straight. This is no way to live. It’s easy for me to call out because, truth be told, I used to be this way.

Too often, people find themselves caught up in a world that promotes stress, anxiety and long-hours as a badge of honor. Rather than promote and support this type of behavior by falling into the trap of stress and anxiety caused by overwork, look for ways to have fun in the moment. Talk to colleagues, give compliments, make connections, learn new things, and just try to connect with others.

Remember, you’ve likely got around 65-80 years on this planet, you don’t want to spend the majority of that time stressed out, waiting for the weekend. Instead, take to heart a few of these counterintuitive tricks and embrace every day with newfound appreciation. You won’t regret it, I promise.

How do you maximize your time? Comment below!

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https://addicted2success.com/life/5-counterintuitive-ways-to-make-the-most-out-of-your-time/

7 Common but Unhelpful Conditioned Beliefs and How You Can Change Them

Most of what limits us as people are personal beliefs based on past experiences, or unconscious conditioning that we have been programmed with or picked up during our education or development. The people I look up to and respect the most are those who have managed to unlearn what society has taught them by way of conditioning and have created their own lives in line with what works for them.

They still operate from a space of personal integrity and caring towards others and they can see the limitations in unquestioningly following what society has taught them. They have learned to listen to and follow their own internal guidance and values, create successful habits and win at life.

Some common beliefs that I’ve noticed trip up my clients and students are as follows:

1. Expecting anything from others, life and the world

“If it is to be, it is up to me” is my motto. That’s not to say I don’t collaborate with others, contribute and receive from them, but I am the driving force in my Universe. I know when others do something for me, an opportunity comes my way or something great happens. It’s always my legwork that’s created that association, opening or sense of gratitude or invitation and it’s something to be deeply grateful for and not to take for granted.

TIP: Look for inspiration that resonates for you and act from that space

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

2. Functioning from thinking at the exclusion of our intuition

Many of us have learned to mistrust our instincts instead of acknowledging what feels right deep down in our gut (which may offer seem counter to what we think about a situation). The term ‘stinking thinking’ exists for a reason. If logical thinking alone worked for running our lives, none of us would have problems. Instead, combine logic with your inner awareness and appropriate action to become unstoppable.

TIP: How can you begin to listen to that powerful voice inside, starting today?

3. Pushing aside our soul whispers because they seem too hard

How often have you ignored a constant urge to do something new/different because you couldn’t quite fathom why that was a good choice, because it felt messy or risky or just didn’t fit with what you have decided is best for you right now?

Staying stuck and perhaps miserable is safer and may seem easier than hacking a track that no one’s ever taken before, but the cost of ignoring our knowing seems to grow over time in terms of stagnation, regret and always wondering.

TIP: What if being truly you and following what excites you most is the only thing you’re supposed to do?

4. Not realizing that feelings are based on conditioning

We tend to associate particular emotions with how we think about certain events/outcomes because of past negative experiences or due to conditioning, even when it’s not actually true for us. When we are in our truth, our thoughts are of such a positive/freeing nature that not much can throw us off centre.

TIP: What is the underlying belief in a current difficult situation that you haven’t acknowledged? How can you change your beliefs about that person/situation to give you a different outcome?

5. Having Expectations of others based on their ‘Role’

People often expect family members/partners/friends or colleagues to behave in accordance with the values and behaviours that they have assigned to those roles. For example “Family must love me”, or “colleagues must be supportive”. In an ideal world these things are always true, but more often than not, our belief just hinders our ability to deal with the reality in this individual situation. People are only capable of being who they are and acting from that space regardless of their role in our lives.

TIP: Always assume who others are based on their behaviour not their relationship to you.

“Fall seven times and stand up eight.” – Japanese Proverb

6. Expecting others to have the same values/capabilities as us

People always show us who they are. Some of the most stuck clients I see, are those who repeatedly ignore who someone else is based on who they want the other person to be. People will always be who they are and do what works for them, regardless of your preferences. It’s good to understand why we are invested in someone being that way and to provide ourselves with that thing, instead of seeking it through others.  

TIP: When you see people for who they are instead of who you would like them to be life gets exponentially easier and you will have so much energy for you.

7. Thinking that the personal development journey is too hard

Realizing we have a lot of work to do is no reason not to start. A year from now, 12 months will have passed whether or not you have grown and developed the way you know you can. Personal growth can be tough, however can you live with staying the way you are now and depriving yourself of the opportunity to reach your greatness? Who are you to play small and not share your potential with the world?

I get it, you might put all that work in and it might be for nothing, but it’s extremely doubtful if you are able to be honest with yourself, devote a bit of time to the journey and follow some great mentors that you are the one person this stuff won’t work for.

TIP: Who do you want to look back and say you were able to have been in this lifetime? Now start doing what it takes to be that person.

Identifying and recognizing unhelpful conditioning and beliefs and changing them in a way that works for you is valuable process to master. It takes courage to look beyond we have been conditioned to believe, seek our truth and live according to that and the rewards are phenomenal.

What are some limiting beliefs that are holding you back? Comment below!

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https://addicted2success.com/life/7-common-but-unhelpful-conditioned-beliefs-and-how-you-can-change-them/

One Question You Must Answer to Ensure Personal Success

I don’t believe in quick fixes, in get-rich-quick schemes, or any other system that guarantees instant success with only a modicum of effort. But, I do believe it’s possible to condense great strings of logical thought and intellectual algorithms into basics. I like to keep things simple! Many of my clients love the fact that I don’t overly complete things, and frankly, so do I! I like to ask simple questions whose answers can be had quickly but require some focus in obtaining the outcome.

Here’s the question I always ask: What is standing between your current reality (where you are now) and your ultimate vision (where you want to be)? Are the impediments psychological, physical, emotional or some other reason?

Until you answer what is causing the difference between your AS IS and your SHOULD BE, you will be stuck spinning your wheels in the mud and the muck of the former. This is an important question that requires a level of mental self-examination. And the answer to this question may require a lifetime of introspection. It is an important question to answer because if you know where you want to go that provides direction but examining why you are not there yet can provide momentum. (In other words, by answering the question it may get you there faster!)

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston S. Churchill

It’s just like following a road map. A map is useless unless you know two things, where you are, and where you want to go. What might be stopping you (or at least slowing you down) from the ultimate destination of your passion and life’s fulfilment?

I’ve asked many people about this over the years and have heard these four reasons that keep people from moving forward.

1. Lack of vision

How do you plan to get there, if you don’t know where “there” is? The most difficult undertaking in the world is to sit quietly with a blank sheet of paper and chart out your life. I know, I have many blank sheets of paper to prove it. However, I also found out that it only takes one sheet, with a few well-crafted lines of thought to give you the direction you need. But you need to start!

2. Lack of goals

So, you know where you want to go, you just don’t know how to get there. The second hardest thing in the world is to have a sheet of paper with your ultimate destination on top, and the rest blank as you ask yourself, now what or how do I get to my vision? The process of functional decomposition means breaking down the larger process into steps that are both actionable and motivational. In other words, the steps are small enough to do and you remain motivated because they are so small.

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.” – Jim Rohn

3. You don’t believe you can get there

You want to, but there is a script running through your head telling you to go home, make some chicken soup and don’t leave the house until these foolish notions of greatness are gone. Think about it, your parents never did what you are trying to do, no one in your family has ever done it, you are far too old (or too young) to do that, you don’t have the right education…your rationalizing can go on for a lifetime! Here is my suggestion when it comes to running those self-deprecating scripts: STOP IT!

4. You are lazy

You won’t admit this to yourself, but perhaps you are just plain lazy. I’ve seen it so many times; individuals majoring in minors. Performing high fun, low payoff activities instead of the low fun, high payoff activities. (And, by the way, who ever said that a high payoff activity can’t be fun? There’s that darn script again.) As a species we are inclined to take the path of least resistance, but that path may not lead us to our vision, but you must admit, we are having a great time NOT moving toward our vision! Laziness is not “doing nothing.” It’s doing the wrong thing because that’s what you want to do, and, very often, we know it’s the wrong thing to do!

There you have the four possible things that might be holding you back from the realization of your vision. Are any of them hitting home? Answer this question before you move on:

What is standing between my current reality and my ultimate vision of success?

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https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/one-question-you-must-answer-to-ensure-personal-success/

4 Character Traits Blocking Success From Entering Your Life

Some days you wake up full of energy and ready to face the day. The challenges you gave yourself the day before seems almost too easy. However, there are also other days where you find yourself without the desire and energy to move forward. Operating from this mindset, you lose productive time, counted first in minutes, then hours. Sometimes your loss of productivity can be measured in days, weeks and months of missed opportunities.   

Since you will not wake up every day bursting with excitement, you must find a way to summon the energy necessary to pound out another story for a publication, work on your social media content plan and write new copy for your website.

To understand why you are unable to take the actions required for success, you must first identify what blocks you. You can’t overcome challenges you aren’t aware of, and this is the juncture separating those who succeed from those who don’t.

Here are the four main character defects that block success:

1. Apathy

Apathy is exhibited as a lack of concern. It shows up when you are tired or stretched too thin. Many entrepreneurs work one or more jobs while attempting to launch a business, whether online or brick and mortar. When progress can’t be seen, it is easy to stop caring and give up.

2. Procrastination

Procrastination can occur when you get up ready to give all you’ve got to your endeavor, but first you check out an episode of your favorite Netflix show while you have coffee. After eight hours of binge-watching, your productive mindset is gone which leaves you demoralized. This in turn brings you back to apathy, triggers fear and causes more procrastinating.

3. Fear

Fear is a corrosive emotion everyone struggles with, and if you are not careful, it will absolutely stop you in your tracks. Fear will say you cannot obtain your dreams. The most successful entrepreneurs and business leaders grapple with anxiety, worry and apprehension, yet you rarely see them paralyzed by their fearfulness. Like them, you can’t defeat your fear unless you identify it. With an insightful mentor, you can easily determine what you are afraid of. Once it is recognized, you’ll find the strength to walk through it.   

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” – James Stephens

4. Overwhelm

Overwhelm occurs when you commit to more than you are capable of doing. Balance and giving the appropriate amount of time to all aspects of life is a tremendous challenge. Have you found yourself overwhelmed when a friend asks a favor of you while you are trying to meet a deadline at work and maintain focus on your entrepreneurial side project? Do you worry how you’ll ever find the time to get it all done? Often when this occurs, we may mentally shut down and accomplish nothing.

To counter the deficits listed above, you must identify, then develop the opposite, positive traits necessary for success. It’s important to understand the “why” of each attribute because only then can you fully tap into the power they offer to help you accomplish your goals.

Here are the four traits to counter the above traits with:

1. Purpose

Purpose gives voice to why you are alive. It tells you and others what you are working toward and why. Living out your purpose is the single greatest weapon against apathy. Knowing your purpose gives you a standard with which you can measure your progress. It motivates you to think, act and ultimately, to succeed.

2. Action

Action is the opposite of procrastination. When your effort is focused on achieving an objective, action propels you forward. Breaking a large project down into small, manageable steps, you’ll gain the needed traction to successfully reach your goal!

3. Courage

Courage is built by first facing, then walking through your fears. Courage gives you strength to do what you think is impossible. Developing a relationship with a mentor, someone willing to tell you the truth about what they see, is crucial to success in this area. With help, you can first identify, then make the adjustments necessary to identify and release the fear blocking you.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston S. Churchill

4. Focus

Focus is the final attribute. What you give your attention to is the single most important factor influencing your success. You become what you focus on. When you focus on your purpose, take the necessary actions and develop the courage to bust through, you win!

This is not an all-inclusive list, it’s simply a starting point. As you tackle and overcome your grosser defects, the subtler ones will begin to surface. Slowly, with help from your trusted mentor, you will work and grow through these challenges.  

As you become stronger, you’ll be able to withstand additional demands. You meet them head-on with the new skill set you’ll develop as you let your old ones go. You will be more effective, positive and energetic along with ready to take any action necessary. You are a winner!

Which one of the character traits above do you need to focus on most in order to achieve success? Let us know in the comments below!

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https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/4-character-traits-blocking-success-from-entering-your-life/

Why I Drastically Reduced My Social Media Consumption (And I Work in Social Media!)

Recently, I’ve been experimenting with the way I consume, create and connect using social media.

What started out as a tool that was supposed to bring us together has turned into something we didn’t expect. Now, I’m the biggest advocate of all when it comes to social media. So much so, that I’ve dedicated most of my career to it.

This post is not designed to get you to delete social media and go and live off-grid, away from the Internet, on a farm, with no car and no connection to the community around you.

The point is to get you to rethink your social media usage.

These are the 4 burdens of social media:

 

Responding to comments

One of my coaching clients said to me the other day “How do you find time to respond to all of the comments you get online?”

I told him “I don’t.”

This is a new thing for me. If I go back six months, I was responding to every comment I got. It’s no secret that by responding to comments on social media in real-time, you get more engagement on your posts.

So yes, commenting is good if you are building an audience and want more people to see your work, but on the downside, you become a slave to comments.

The other challenge with comments is that you will get trolls and people that say nasty stuff. No matter how hard you try, some of them will affect your mindset, motivation or even your mood.

This is why I have drastically reduced the comments I respond to. I still engage and support people that like my work, I just do it less.

This leaves me more time to create, which ultimately provides more value than a reply to a comment.

 

Liking people’s posts

Social media also brings on the expectation that you’re supposed to like people’s posts who supported you, are your family or maybe even your work colleagues or friends.

I always like to support other people’s work, but I disagree with people expecting me to. Some posts just don’t resonate with me and that’s why I don’t reshare them even if they are my friends, colleagues or even super fans of my work.

 

Responding to direct messages

“Instant messaging has been the bane of my existence. It’s like a meeting that never ends”

Now everyone can reach me. This might seem like it makes us more connected but I don’t feel it does. Instead, it takes up huge amounts of time to respond to direct messages. A lot of the ones I get have ‘asks’ attached to them.

There’s nothing wrong with an ‘ask’ through social media but if you don’t know someone at all, it gets annoying quickly.

 

Having to check notifications

When I see 150 new notifications on LinkedIn (or any social network) as much as I hate to admit it, it feels good. I end up checking my notifications in meetings, while out for dinner with my significant other and even in the car (dangerous).

“Most of what these notifications are telling me are unimportant but my dopamine addicted brain can’t resist. The need for validation that I am growing or becoming somebody is too great”

<<<>>>>>

It’s for these four reasons that I recently severely limited by social media usage.

This may seem like the action of a crazy person given that I work in social media. I promise you it’s not. I can still have a career in social media or as a blogger without checking apps 100 times a day.

My time is now focused on something far more important:

Maximizing my time creating content that serves my purpose instead of consuming which is what the social media platforms want me to do (I never did like following rules).

<<<>>>

Here are the benefits I got by drastically reducing my social media usage:

 

Less stress

The recent test I took to measure my cortisol levels shows that I’m currently at 800 on the cortisol scale and the normal range is between 0-400.

I’ve been looking for any way I can to reduce stress. My experimentation with reducing social media has helped significantly.

“I find myself living in flight mode more often and enjoying right now”

One of the biggest flaws with the 24/7 social media model is the increase in stress if nothing else. The need for instant validation is making our stress levels soar. It’s time to fight back!

 

It’s made me more creative

I’m now being inspired more by things I witness in real life as opposed to the sometimes made-up, perfect world of social media. Creativity fuels our passions and even our businesses.

It takes empty space and free time to be creative. Social media was sucking up all my spare time after work and on the weekend. By consuming less, I had blocks of spare time to create.

That also gave me time to be inspired by books that fuel my imagination like Harry Potter (strangely enough).

 

I feel freer

Being tied to my phone and glued to social media is like having chains around my arms.

“It’s been nice to be free of advice, funny videos, opinions, politics and everything else that is like a fire hose in your face”

 

More present

Meditation has been something I’ve sucked at for a long time. I find it hard to be present and observe the now. Part of the reason, I’ve discovered, is that I was thinking about what was happening on social media.

Having time away from social media has made being present easier for me. I’m thinking less about how many views I got on LinkedIn today and more about the meaning of life and the people I care about.

It’s not perfect though. I still spend time on social media (obviously) and so I have to balance the benefits, with the negatives like being less present.

 

Fewer distractions

All the way back to high school, my teachers told me “Tim, you’re easily distracted.”

Even on my report cards, it says it. My teachers put it down to my appreciation of the opposite sex (this is what they said!) but I disagree. I put it down to my need for human interaction which is what has made me love selling in the business world.

None the less, I am easily distracted -  that’s a fact. Social media has forced me to check my notifications consistently. Since reducing my social media consumption, I’ve put into action a new strategy.

What I do now is turn off all notifications on my phone, computer, iPad and laptop. I only have SMS and phone call notifications turned on.

This setup allows me to time-box when I check my social media and only look at certain times of the day. By batching similar tasks like checking notifications together, I spend less time overall on social media.

Not only do I have my notifications for social media turned off, but I also do most of the commenting and responding to messages on my iMac. The screen of my phone is small and it makes the process longer, more stressful and it’s a burden on my eyes.

 

It’s increased my real-world interactions with people

By being less social without the need for social media and online communities, my hunger for connection has not disappeared. If anything, it’s increased.

The only way to get my fix is to attend a social catchup, hang out with workmates, have more meetings with clients and say hi to strangers.

This has improved my confidence, got me out of my comfort-zone and even helped me with my public speaking ability.

 

Final thought

Social media doesn’t have to be a burden but until you learn to control it, it will wreak havoc on your life. Working in social media makes me a big advocate of the upside, but the downside is not so obvious.

I hope, through my own reduction in social media, you’ve got a new perspective – or at least a different view of social media.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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https://addicted2success.com/life/why-i-drastically-reduced-my-social-media-consumption-and-i-work-in-social-media/

5 Actionable Tips to Master Your Mental Illness and Be Successful

With May being Mental Illness Awareness Month, it’s imperative to know what actions we can take to develop more successful emotions. Emotional pain is one of the worst things that can happen to an individual. After attempting suicide twice and checking myself into countless mental health clinics, I was able to finally to become the master of my world. Reaching rock bottom twice, I’ve learned how to become successful in both my personal and professional life.  With a little bit of effort, this is something you can do too.

Even if you’re not battling a mental illness, these techniques can work wonders for improving every part of life:

1. Reading For Personal Growth

With so much negative material in this world of the internet, one must take the time to purposefully install positive material that’ll help you grow. Just by being on Addicted2Success, you’re on the right path.

Reading also is another way to exercise your mind. By exercising the mind and inserting positive information into it on a consistent basis, it’s inevitable that your thoughts, actions, and results will begin to change. What I did, and still do, is read books from the genres of Self-Help, Self-Improvement, Personal Development, and Psychology.

2. Writing To Vent

Even after speaking to therapists and psychologists, what I have found to work wonders is to simply write. What’s great about this is you can get everything off of your chest and then destroy the evidence by shredding it once you’re done. By bottling everything up inside, it begins to eat away at us, stacks up with other negative emotions, and then comes back with a vengeance.

Start a daily journal to vent about everything that’s bothering you and then shred it if you choose. I personally shred everything all at once rather than one day at a time.

“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.” – Gustave Flaubert

3. Changing Environments

Jim Rohn said, “You’re the average of the five people you hang out with most.” This is true for success, finances, health, mentality, and all other areas of life. If you want to become successful, if you want to pull yourself out of an emotional slump, change the stimuli you’re currently in. This can include your friends, work, tv shows, news, movies, music, social media, unorganized office/home, and more.

If you feel like something is dragging you down, it is. Do what successful people do and change it! I personally went for months without a friend because they were the biggest source of negativity in my life…and I’d do it again!

4. Controlling Your Thoughts

This is easier said than done, but it’s extremely possible. On average, we have about 60,000 thoughts running through our minds every day, more than half of those are negative.

One thing you can try is to make a tally mark every time you notice a negative thought. Doing this will help you become more aware of this and you’ll notice over time, those tally marks will slowly dwindle. The key here is to have a predetermined affirmation or mantra to replace that negative thought with. I personally have a go-to affirmation which I repeat over-and-over again while forcing the biggest smile I can muster at the time.

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” – Mark Twain

5. Taking Action On Ideas

Ideas are a dime-a-dozen because too many are stillborn, most never take action on any idea they have. By taking action in any capacity on an idea that you come up with, it’ll help boost self-esteem and confidence. It also sends a signal to your subconscious mind that you’re becoming a different person who has a purpose in life. Start small at first, then go as big as your imagination can dream. I use to ignore my ideas because everyone told me how stupid I was, yet now I receive praise for being a innovative visionary with determination.

It took me nearly ten years without medication or therapy to completely reverse my life for the better. Now that I am where I am, I still practice all of this and more! You can be successful in whatever it is that you desire, but it all starts in the mind and your actions.

If you or anyone you know is battling any type of mental illness, know that it is only temporary if you choose for it to be. Take the advice Bob Proctor told me and implement it immediately: “The mind is the most powerful force in all of creation, hold the image of what you want, and surprise the whole world.”

What tricks do you have for controlling your mind and making sure your brain helps you achieve success throughout your day? Let us know in the comments below!

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https://addicted2success.com/life/5-actionable-tips-to-master-your-mental-illness-and-be-successful/

5 Success Myths We Should Stop Feeding Ourselves Right Now

We all, of course, want to be successful. We chase it incessantly, talk, read, write about it, and visualize it. Success feels great, tastes great and can give us an influx of endorphins. It’s a high like no other. So far so good. The culprit, though, is when we mis-interpret what it means to be accomplished and what we must do to get to the coveted sunshine land.

Here are 5 myths which we should stop trumpeting about as they are not the sure path to reaching our dreams:

1. Failure is good for you

Yes and no. We absolutely must deal with our failings stoically, take a note and move on, however, we worship success, not mishaps—we link it directly with individual worth. If someone isn’t thriving per society definitions, their stock doesn’t have much value.

Research from MIT also reveals that we learn more from success than from failure. When we win, our brain cells remember what we did and repeat it the next time around. Failure’s down feelings are stronger than the lesson learned, so the benefit may not be that great.

Admittedly, it’s easy to fall into the “everyone fails” trap and become fascinated by tales of the Silicon Valley wonderboys who started in their parents’ garage, failed a hundred times while working on the world’s next break-through and ended up billionaires.

Failure isn’t always followed by success. Sometimes, it’s just this—unsuccess. Not every downturn has a happy ending. Just be mindful of this before you start cheering up for the failing adage.

“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” – Herman Melville

2. Be yourself

Approach with caution, as it can also mean: “You don’t need to improve, you are perfect just as you are.” The belief that we just happen to be a wonderful respectable person can be a flawed assumption. It proclaims passiveness and dampens the incentive to better our characters. We must seek change and learn to adapt.

Prof. Brian Little’s famous idea of “free traits” states that it’s sometimes necessary that we act as socially desirable, so we can fit in. Not all the time, but enough to get a job done. “Unless you are Oprah, be yourself is a terrible advice,” also believes Prof. Adam Grant. Being our “true selves” can damage our motivation to grow, improve, and can make us feel inferior. Instead, aim to be sincere and strive to be the person you claim to be.

Although there’s value in authenticity, sometimes, a situation calls for a different skill-set, leader or approach. Not adapting (which, for the record, is different than faking it) to these demands is likely to put us on the losing side. Remember Darwin’s theory of evolution?

3. Fake it ‘till you make it

It’s another flawed self-help motto. True, research reveals that acting more assertively can provide many advantages personally and professionally but, all this is telling us is that it pays to be confident.

“Acting out of character,” in the context of “upping our game” or shining as our best selves, is admissible. As in when you need to dazzle everyone while giving a presentation or convince an interviewer to give you the job. Stepping in a Superman suit on such occasions does create a more positive aura for us.

But it’s not sustainable. If you lack confidence, pretending every day that you do isn’t going to make you more confident. Acting as someone you are not is mentally exhausting and puts a strain on your body too. Suppressing your feelings bears the risks of eventually escalating them. But if you believe that you are worthy, as trivial as it sounds, the world will see it too. You won’t have to fake anything, you’ll simply play yourself.

4. If you don’t like your job, just quit. Follow your passion.

The small print to this should read: “Of course, this only works if you don’t have bills to pay, have substantial savings or other means of generating regular income.” So, let’s have a second thought for a moment. According to statistics, between 80% to 90% of the new ventures fail—“follow your dreams” is often not a profitable undertaking.

One option is to remain “a cog in a large wheel”—i.e. work a 9-to-5 job until your side endeavor takes off or focus on what you put your most time and effort on instead, per entrepreneur billionaire Mark Cuban. “Go with your bliss” is a terrible advice, he believes. Although you can be passionate about professional sports, for instance, doesn’t mean you can excel at it personally. So, going after a dream is absolutely worth pursuing but, “free solo” style may not be the best way to reach the mountain top.

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell

5. You can be anything you want

On the surface, it’s powerful—no matter your background, you can still become rich and famous. Take a note from the many rags-to-riches stories. The problem isn’t with dreaming big, it’s with the “anything” part of the advice. As kids, no one told us that we can’t become the next Beyoncé if we can’t sing, or the new Stephen Hawking if we don’t like physics and math.

That is, ask yourself why and how the accomplished individuals you adore have become so good. It’s really simple: because they were born with a certain talent, knack, mojo—whatever you call it. And they built on this foundation and perfected it.

Susan Cain, in her great book, refers to this as the “rubber-band” theory of personality—i.e. we can only stretch ourselves so much. “Bill Gates is never going be Bill Clinton,” she writes, “no matter how he polishes his social skills, and Bill Clinton can never be Bill Gates, no matter how much time he spends alone with a computer.” So, we can be anything we want, but within our expanded personalities.

In the end, the achievement of what we dream of and aspire is a wonderful thing. We do need to talk, read, write and visualize about being successful—that’s how we learn, grow, and how we become our better versions.

But, just because someone tells you how they think you can become prosperous, doesn’t mean that it is so. Success trajectories are often unique and beware of the fallacy of the greener grass.

What are some success myths you used to believe in? Comment below!

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https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/5-success-myths-we-should-stop-feeding-ourselves-right-now/

Do This For 10-Minutes Every Day To Change Your Life.

Small hacks in our life – like daily habits that take ten minutes – are a great way to change your life. The barrier to entry is low and the simplicity makes it attainable – even for people like me who are ultra-simplistic about everything.

Let’s start with 10 minute habits you shouldn’t do. Many of you are doing these and it’s having a major effect on your life.

“It’s always best to start with taking away issues before laying the foundation of new habits”

So here we go – stop these:

 

Comparing yourself to Instagramers.

• Their life is not better than yours, it just looks that way through a color filter and fake lighting
• The practice of comparing will only make you unhappy. Life is not a game measured by age, the level you’re at and how much money you collected when you passed go each week and got paid
• The Internet is not reality; it’s perceived reality that’s distorted for the benefit of anyone who wishes to “MONETIZE”

 

Watching porn while masturbating.

• Don’t pretend you aren’t doing this. It’s okay and admitting it is crucial
• Porn makes you think about sex in a fucked-up way that will ruin your relationships
• The people in the videos you watched have to suffer and not watching it helps them in the long-term (if we stop watching ‘en masse’ that is)
• Orgasming will become harder without porn if you don’t stop
• Real sex is far better than made up porn stories

 

 

Getting angry at traffic.

• Don’t waste your energy on stuff you can’t control
• Use time in traffic to listen to a podcast – problem solved
• Your career is a choice and so is traffic

 

Trading cryptocurrency so you can get rich.

• It’s similar to watching porn and the game never ends
• Of all the things you can trade it’s the riskiest and most addictive
• Even if you do make money, you’ll probably lose it through greed
• Once you’ve experienced lots of money you’ll see (like I did) that meaning and purpose are far more fulfilling
• Following the herd is how you end up financially poor in the long run

 

Binging on junk food.

• We all have hard days at work and suffocating yourself with food is not the answer
• Junk food is another addiction that doesn’t serve you and sucks away the energy you need to live life to the maximum
• Discipline in life is how you reach long-term success. There are no shortcuts and we all experience the same set of feelings and emotions. How you deal with them determines whether you’ll be Elon Musk or Johnny NoName

All the things I listed above are habits that each of us have fallen for – let’s not deny it. Now we know what to avoid, we can look at the other side of the coin.

Adding in a few simple habits that take no time at all will help stack the odds of life in your favor.

“Taking the stairs instead of the lift will always produce better results and it can be fun too!”

Start doing these:

 

Tetris before bed

• Helps to turn the mind off and it’s hard not to focus because you’ll lose the game if you do
• It’s fun and helps stroke the part of your brain that likes things neat and tidy
• Tetris allows you to finish the day completing an activity that you’ll probably do well at
• The more you do this before bed, the better you get. Progress feels good before sleep

 

Napping at lunchtime

• Eat a healthy lunch, so you have time left to nap
• A quick nap gives you a boost of energy and it feels good
• Napping stops the mind chatter briefly

 

Meditate

• Can be done anywhere and helps you recover. Efficient work needs several moments throughout the day where there is recovery. Meditation helps achieve this goal
• Helps bring you back to the present from the brief stops you make a hundred times a day in the future and the past

 

One inspiring Ted Talk (okay that’s 18 minutes – who’s timing, right?)

• Improves your listening skills
• Gain a different perspective
• Challenges your current beliefs
• Opens you up to new ideas
• Gives you titles of books you can read
• It’s entertaining and sometimes funny
• It’s way better than watching Netflix

 

Speak to a homeless person

• Allows you to see how wealthy you are
• Gives you perspective
• Enables you to help, if you wish
• Makes you question the meaning of your life
• Allows you to change someone’s life, if you choose
• Helps you see the harsh effects of drugs (a lot of the time)

 

Write down three things you’re grateful for

• Pushes the mind to override negative thoughts for things that are going right
• It’s a good practice to help you reflect
• Forces you to see the good even on the toughest days
• Lets you journal, if you choose
• Gets you out of your head
• Opens up opportunities to thank people who helped you rock your day

 

Jump on a trampoline or 10 minutes of another physical activity

• Gets your lazy ass moving
• Wakes you up and disrupts your thought patterns
• Has positive mental effects
• Creates energy in the body that translates into fuel that can be used for your goals
• Makes you feel more positive

 

Calming tea before bed (Chamomile or California Poppy Extract)

• Helps relax you before bed
• Gets you to sleep faster
• Promotes a deeper sleep
• Gives you more energy for tomorrow
• Tastes yummy and is a reward for a hard day’s work

This last 10-minutes spent drinking tea has really changed the game for me. I’ve struggled with energy and only just realized it was because of my sleep patterns. A calming tea before bed has helped knock me out and stopped me thinking about the day that just passed.

 

Final Thought

It’s easy to think that changing your life is some mammoth task that you’ll start in a month, year or week from now. You never will. All change starts with something small. Pick one habit above to start with and then see how you go. Add small ten-minute hacks to your day and watch your results multiply.

If all you got from this post was one way to chill, feel good or you saw a negative habit and stopped doing it, then my job is done. Anything more than that is a huge win that you deserve.

Now go out there and change your life!

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/do-this-for-10-minutes-every-day-to-change-your-life/

7 Strategic Ways You Can Sharpen Your Concentration Right Now

One of the most important things to have while you are working towards your goal is concentration. This can be hard to do, especially when others around you are convincing you to have fun, or to do it later. By following these 7 strategic tips, you will learn how to overcome the concentration obstacle within minutes.

1. Music

When athletes are about to play their sport, you see them a lot of times with headphones on, and a ‘don’t bother me right now’ look on their face. This is what they do to get focused. They are listening to that song that pumps them up to get them motivated to do their best. It provides them with that winning feeling. Music is known to offer different emotions to certain situations. Use it as an advantage to build your concentration, while preparing to do your best work.

2. Ritual

Having a ritual signals to your mind that you’re about to go into that concentration ‘zone’. Most writers have a ritual they perform before they begin to write. For me, I have a cup of hot tea, while sitting in my favorite chair, doing a puzzle. This gets my mind and body to settle, so that I can sink into writer’s mode. Exploring different rituals can help you naturally ease into your concentration.The great thing about rituals is you can customize them to your benefit!

“Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals.” – LL Cool J

3. Get In A Good Space

Do you find that you do your best work at the kitchen table or on the living room floor? Lying on your bed or at a desk? Dim lights or sunlight? Your work space contributes a lot to your concentration. If you’re not comfortable where you are, your work could suffer, or not exist at all. Find a space that is suitable to you, but not too comfortable. You want to be able to produce awesome work, not drift off to sleep.

4. Remove All Distractions

Cell phone notifications, or anything that makes you look up when it goes off, remove it or silence it. Various noises interrupts your thinking and your ability to get in the ‘zone’. What can easily take an hour will take 2 hours or more, if you don’t remove anticipated distractions. Distractions take up precious time that could have been used working on your task. Starting over and attempting to get back in the ‘zone’ will be difficult after a distraction has occurred. Get rid of them before you dive into your work.

5. Begin

As simple as it sounds, it’s probably the hardest thing to do. Just begin. Whatever your task is, sit down (or stand up, depending on what the task is) and start. After you begin, you should experience a ‘flow’ in what you’re doing. You’ll be performing your task at a great level, without wanting to stop. The only drawback is that it may not work all of the time, but you won’t know until you begin. The more you follow these tips, the better chances you have of getting into your ‘flow’ every time.  

6. Use Your Emotional Energy

Concentration takes mental energy. Your emotions play a big role in how you concentrate. When you are mad, sad, anxious, or happy, that’s emotional energy. Depending on the type of task you are doing, you can easily channel that energy into your concentration. A songwriter creates their best love song after a break up. That’s using emotional energy to your advantage. Instead of sitting there with all of that energy bouncing around in your mind and body, make it work for you –  ‘concentrate’ that energy towards your task.

For example, if you are mad or stressed out, you can channel that energy into your exercise routine. If you are happy or just received good news, channel that energy into studying for an exam or practicing chess. It’s simply focusing your emotional energy, to enhance the outcome of your goal.

“The biggest challenge is to stay focused. It’s to have the discipline when there are so many competing things.” – Alexa Hirschfeld

7. Mindset

Just like you should get in a good space to improve your concentration, you also have to be in your good mind. This means quieting the negative chatter in your head. Whenever we’re faced with a task, self-doubt creeps into our thoughts. Whether it’s a critical voice or just plain fear, you have the power to turn those judgmental ideas around. You know you can do it and you can do it well. Don’t doubt your own abilities – there are enough people who do that already. Be positive and concentrate on working towards your unlimited potential.

There are many methods that can contribute to gaining and maintaining your concentration. Whether it’s music, a ritual, or just learning how to start, find what works for you. Using these tips will help you concentrate more efficiently, while supporting the task at hand. Allow your ability to concentrate grow you closer towards your goal!

How do you stay focused? Comment below!

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https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/7-strategic-ways-you-can-sharpen-your-concentration-right-now/

How You Can Use the Power of Gratitude to Your Advantage

The word gratitude has been tossed around, but do you know exactly what it means or how to implement it into your life? Someone has probably told you in your life, “Express more gratitude.” Well, that sounds like a great idea, but if you don’t know what gratitude is, how can you fully express it in your life? It’s a concept that once you grasp, it will change your life.

We live such busy lives that we often forget to express thanks for everything around us. You see, gratitude interchanges with the word thanks. Giving thanks and gratitude are synonymous with each other. When you’re expressing gratitude you’re essentially giving thanks for a certain situation. Gratitude is looking for the good in every situation and expressing appreciation. Your appreciation need not be elaborate, something as simple as taking a second out of your day to say thanks in your mind.

When you wake up in the morning, you can take a second to say thanks for your family or your job. Gratitude helps keep your perspectives in check when you start to get down. It’ll allow you to remember why you’re doing what you’re doing in life. Your gratitude should be expressed to something that doesn’t have monetary value.

It’s normal to get caught up in negative thinking. For example, if something didn’t go right at work or the weather has been terrible, you can begin to think negatively. You will never live a good life with negative thinking. Not that you need to look at the positives in every situation because there will be times when negative thinking is relevant. The goal is to decipher when you should be negative and when you should look towards gratitude to get rid of the negative thinking.

If you’re working at a job and something doesn’t work out, it’s easy to become negative. You forget the fact you have a job which means you’re more well off than most people. Gratitude is looking at your negative situation and seeing the good in it.

Have you ever been around someone who is negative? Did you like being around them? Of course you didn’t! How does it feel when you’re around someone who is positive? Doesn’t it feel good to be around them? Take a look at your negative event and see if you can find anything positive. Gratitude allows you to slow down and fully embrace the moment you’re in.

Now that you know what gratitude is, how can you use it to your advantage?

The first step towards using gratitude to your advantage is keeping a gratitude journal. This is something as simple as using your phone to note the good that has happened during your day. You’ll realize that no matter how bad your day is, there is always something positive within it.

The next negative event you encounter after reading this article, try to find the positive in it. Get in the mindset of looking for the positive in the bad. This shift will change your entire world view.

Try to give at least one compliment out per day. This will also shift your mindset towards looking for the positive in every person you come across. You realize that you’ll feel just as good as the person receiving the compliment. When you give someone a compliment without a covert contract, it will make you feel better.

Once you’ve completed the steps above, try going an entire week saying nothing negative. It’s easy to think of something negative but try to restrain yourself from saying it. By your sheer willpower, you will notice just how many negative thoughts you have per day.

The last step towards expressing gratitude in your life is donating your time or money to a cause you deem worthy. You will learn when you spend money or your time on something other than yourself, it will bring you happiness in your life. Gratitude will never be something you buy but rather something you cultivate on a daily basis.

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward

Gratitude also has health benefits

It’s also been scientifically proven that gratitude can provide health benefits. With technology in our hands, it’s easy to become impatient. The more you practice gratitude in your life, the more patient and understanding you can become. When you’re more patient in your life, you can make better decisions. Wouldn’t we all like to make better decisions?

Gratitude can help you get better sleep because you’re no longer thinking about the negative events that are taking place in your life. The reason many people don’t get good sleep is because they’re thinking about negative events as they fall asleep. This causes them to wake up during the night in angst. Gratitude can soothe your nervous system, allowing you to have a more peaceful sleep.

Most importantly, gratitude can give you happiness that lasts. There are tons of things in this world that can give you short bursts of happiness, but wouldn’t you want that happiness to last longer? Gratitude can sustain your happiness because it’s something over the long term and not something that can go away. There will always be something to express gratitude about if you just open your eyes. By taking the time to express gratitude throughout the day, you will notice an overall positive change to your mental state.

Still think expressing gratitude is a little out there? Hear what these successful people have to say about expressing gratitude.

Alan Burak from renowned investment firm, Never Alone Capital said that the power of gratitude has allowed him to reach his full potential in life, expressing his true love and passion each day. How would it feel to reach your full potential? You probably aren’t even close to becoming the person you were meant to be, but expressing gratitude each day can help you get closer to that person.

Lewis Howes, host of the top 100 business podcast School of Greatness said, “It reminds us how lucky we are to have whatever it is that we have–our breath, sunshine, water to drink, a cool breeze.” In a world where we’re always craving for more, gratitude can help you bring joy in the present moment. It’s been said that the best things in life are free and gratitude exemplifies that fact.

“Gratitude is the key to joy; it turns what we have into being enough.” – Lewis Howes

Ryan Holiday, a New York Times best-selling author and practitioner of stoicism said that with the practice of gratitude, you can be thankful for what you have every day instead of once per year. The way to embrace gratitude into your life on a daily basis means to accept whatever happens to you. You no longer get mad at the bad, but figure out how to deal with it. When you feel happiness, you embrace it for as long as possible because you don’t know when that moment will reappear.

Gratitude can have a profound impact on your life, but you need to keep sticking with it. It’s a lifelong practice you need to keep at. Think about how much your life would change if you felt happier and more fulfilled in each second of the day.

How do you practice gratitude every single day? Let us know in the comments below!

from
https://addicted2success.com/life/how-you-can-use-the-power-of-gratitude-to-your-advantage/

10 Principles to Harness Your Self-Confidence That Lives Within You

Self-confidence is an evolutionary journey. It is the accumulation of experiences, new learning and fearlessness. Sometimes you may possess it and not even realize. Being conscious of your own powers and abilities is what allows you to think, speak and act purposefully. You tap into an inner strength and embody courage to succeed. Self-confidence is linked with success as you have more energy and your inspiration comes from within.

No one is immune to slip into bouts of doubt, insecurity and uncertainty, however, it is your choice if you allow it to dictate the conditions of your life. Insecurity plagues people consciously and unconsciously. While the fearful will agonize over decisions and make the safe choices, the confident leader will make the decision quickly and change their mind slowly.

Every time you express your opinion to the world, each time your stand for something you want or every time you take a risk to expand your unfamiliar zone, you are building your own reservoir of confidence which only you can access at any time you choose. It’s yours, you own it.

Self-confidence is a fundamental quality to leaders and it is where leadership grows. To build confidence, you must practice confidence.

Let’s embark on a quest for self-confidence and embody 10 principles to harness your self-confidence that lives within you:

1. Ultimate you

Your essence as a leader is independent of the opinion of others, feels above and beneath no one and is fearless of all challenges. When you embrace your true self, you know within that you can handle whatever happens in life with compassion and certainty as your self-worth is not tied to what others think of you. You purposefully step into being fearless and courageous in all things.

2. True masters, always the student

Allow yourself to be an avid learner. Acknowledge that it is okay not to be perfect, expand your own limitations and unfamiliar zones to step into starting something new. Lifelong learning separates those who will continue to rise in the fields from those who are content to just float along.

There is a concept in Zen Buddhism called “shoshin” or “beginner’s mind”, which means being open to learning more no matter what level of success you have achieved. When you approach your work with vigor, you work knowing there is always something new to learn.

3. Execution is the game

The ‘what if’ loop permeates the minds of many. Worrying, overthinking and anxiety create a state of paralysis in which you fail to act. When you do act, you own the consequences. The accomplishments or downfalls are the greatest feedback, gifts and experiences. When you detach from the outcome, execution is the decision where your confidence will grow.

4. Getting in the trenches

Building a surplus of experiences only results from putting yourself out there and taking risks. A disciplined practice and a commitment to growth enhances your self-confidence because “repetition is the mother of all skill” no matter the endeavor.

5. Practice presence

When you tap into your true self, you experience self confidence as your ground state. Through the practice of being present in the moment, the voices of doubt, indecision and fear soften to distant whispers. From this state, you tap into your internal resources as a platform for achievement and fulfilment.

Practicing mindfulness can have significant benefits for your physical and psychological well being. Notice your breath flowing and bring awareness to your other sensations – what you see, what you hear, what you smell, and taste.

Visualize your confidence in your mind’s eye by seeing yourself speaking on a stage or doing the activity for which you require more confidence. Allow the feelings of comfortable presence to pervade your body and mind.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Mother Teresa

6. Say ‘no’

Confident people know that saying ‘no’ is healthy. They own their ‘no’ with confidence as it is in alignment with who they are, their values and what they stand for. Saying ‘no’ to new commitments honors your existing priorities.

7. Knowledge breeds confidence

Tapping into mentorship boosts confidence. Accessing the knowledge, experience and wisdom of a person who has walked the path less travelled allows you to focus your energy more effectively and efficiently. Successful CEO’s continue to study from the masters. Whether it’s attending conferences, watching TED talks or engaging a mentor. By studying the best in your field, you can up your game.

8. What would Kanye do?

Confident people are not afraid to stretch their limits and set the bar high. Kanye West claiming to run for President in the 2024 elections should not be taken lightly as he strongly holds his belief in his own ability to succeed. Setting the bar too low or not acting will slowly but surely allow self-doubt to creep back in. Every time you find yourself holding yourself back, just ask yourself, ‘what would Kanye do?”

“You are now watching the greatest living rockstar on the planet.” – Kanye West

9. Deliberate practice

World-class titans don’t ever rest. Deliberate practice trumps natural talent. If you are unsure about your ability to do something, start by trying on the skills in a safe setting. Preparation builds confidence over time. Getting out of your own way by asking for help is confidence in learning. When you tap into your own value and how you can add value to others, confidence is no longer about self-promotion. You invest your energy and your being in how you can add value to another human being. It’s no longer about you.

10. Get your power pose on

Wonder Woman power posing has been all the rage over the last 5 years. Amy Cuddy, Harvard Psychologist, did a TED Talk and discussed how your body language governs how you think and feel about youself. For instance, commanding a powerful stance can make you feel more powerful. When you keep your body relaxed and open, your confidence starts to rise. A further academic paper published in 2018 by Cuddy, provided ample evidence that adopting an expansive posture makes people feel more powerful. Before your next interview, strike a power pose.

Confidence turns thought to action. Confidence is a building block in an impactful career and embracing it will take you places you never thought possible.

How do you increase your self-confidence? Let us know in the comments below?

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https://addicted2success.com/life/10-principles-to-harness-your-self-confidence-that-lives-within-you/

3 Secrets to Getting Along With People You Can’t Stand

Whether in your work or personal life, getting along with people you’re surrounded by can be challenging at best. The inability to get along with people you may not like can have a big impact on your future. In your personal life it might be tension with an in-law (or three) that adds undue stress to your marriage or other important relationships.

In business it may be that you aren’t getting along with your boss. At best, this can make your day-to-day work environment unpleasant, but this could also have a negative impact on your career as a whole. Learning to communicate and get along with others is vital to our success.

Getting along with people you don’t like doesn’t imply defeat, giving in or compromise, it’s a way of getting through life without constantly banging your head against the wall and being miserable in situations where you could, at the very least, be at ease.

So whether you’re a work-at-home parent like me or you spend your week surrounded by people in a busy office environment, here are three ways that you can use to get along with people you don’t like:

1. Take a look in the mirror

The first step to getting along with others is knowing that you can’t change anyone but yourself. It doesn’t do any good to try and change someone. In fact, this will most likely make matters worse. And trying to make someone change their behavior is nothing less than manipulation; and who likes being manipulated?

If there’s something that someone does on a regular basis that gets on your last nerve, take a look in the mirror and consider that this behavior just might be something that you engage in and aren’t particularly proud of. We’ve all done things or act in ways that we’re not happy with. And when we see others act similarly this might be cause for us to lash out or contend with this person. It’s been found that one of the main reasons people lash out is to renew a sense of confidence.  

Next time “that person” (you know who they are), does something to tick you off, pause and ask yourself if what they did is really that bad or just something that hits close to home regarding your own patterns.

“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

2. Avoid trigger topics

There’s a good reason that you don’t discuss politics or religion at a dinner party. These are sensitive topics and people tend to have very strong opinions about them. I’ve seen people get into bitter arguments because they sit on opposite sides of the fence politically speaking. Suddenly one’s accusing the other of lacking sensitivity because they voted for someone they didn’t like.

Five minutes earlier they were laughing together and now they’re making comments they can never come back from. Even when someone agrees with 90% it’s the other 10% that can set off an explosive argument.

But it’s not just politics or religion that might set someone off. Anything from how to raise your kids to what you should be eating and anything in between can induce an argument. Especially when tension already exists in a relationship.

We’ve all been guilty of intentionally pushing someone’s buttons and we know what it’s like for someone to push ours. You know exactly what to say to get someone’s goad. It might even seem amusing, but what it’s doing is creating more and more tension in the relationship.

If you want to start getting along with someone you usually can’t stand being around, consider the topics you argue over and avoid them if possible. Start taking note of some common ground you have and focus there instead.

“Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.” – Walter Winchell

3. Stay clear on social media

There are certainly benefits to social media, but social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter can also be breeding grounds for intense debates. I’ve seen people display their worst side on social media. Maybe it’s because they feel insulated since they aren’t engaging in face-to-face conversations. It’s easy to share your political views or lash out at someone because of theirs when you’re sitting behind a computer or mobile device.

If you have someone in your life you’d rather not be around, then why are you following them on social media? It’s simple to block content and “unfollow” someone on any social media platform. Continuing to tweet and comment with or about people you don’t like only adds to your stress.

So, if you’re ready to get along better with people you don’t like then follow these three steps. Not only will you have a better time being around them, you might even find enough common ground to enjoy their company. You can at least start by tolerating them, but it will never happen without effort on your part.

How do you deal with people you can’t stand? Comment below!

from
https://addicted2success.com/life/3-secrets-to-getting-along-with-people-you-cant-stand/

The Critics Are Wrong: Personal Development Is Not A Bunch Of Baloney

There’s been a lot of haters of late talking out against personal development. They say that people spreading positivity and telling you to grow as a person are full of the proverbial brown stuff.

They call advocates of personal development like myself self-help gurus.

All of this is BS.

 

The real reason there are critics of personal development.

First off, there’s no conspiracy here. There isn’t some secret plan to overthrow the personal development movement and burn every copy of Think And Grow Rich that has ever been printed.

Here’s why the critics are bagging personal development:

It’s easier to be different than it is to be better. BEING DIFFERENT IS HOW YOU GAIN ***ATTENTION***

The reason people are bagging personal development is because they want to go against the vast majority that sees value in some or all of what personal development offers.

Being a critic of personal development is the modern-day version of rebelling and listening to punk music like some of you did in the 80’s (not me, I’m a 90’s kid…haha).

More than that, being a critic is how you get the intravenous drip of followers, attention, likes, comments and eyeballs. The issue is not personal development at all.

 

I advocate for personal development because it works.

In 2011, my life was up shit creek without a paddle. If it weren’t for the whole personal development movement, I would never have got out of the deep hole I was in.

I’m not sure what might have happened, but I hate to think. My mind was going into meltdown and I had nothing but disturbing thoughts.

Through a series of books and one event I attended in person, I began to see another way. I saw a tiny bit of light within all of the darkness.

As I continued to become obsessed with growing and the tools that personal development teaches, everything changed.

I now teach others about what I learned because it works. It hasn’t just worked for me; it’s worked for so many people in my life.

I also get hundreds of messages a week across all the different social media channels from people who have experienced a significant change in their life thanks to personal development. Personal development works.

Here are the benefits of personal development:

 

1. We’re all searching for meaning

That’s why personal development focuses on finding what brings you joy and what gives you meaning in life.

Finding meaning is an enormous task but we have a lifetime to discover it. Some people call it meaning, other people call it purpose and it can even be referred to as having a vision.

Whatever you want to call it, searching for meaning is an incredibly powerful way to enhance your human experience and go all in. Finding meaning is how you find the extra energy and motivation to keep going when things get tough.

I’ve personally had so much joy out of helping to inspire the world through entrepreneurship and personal development. Everything I do is centered around that purpose and it’s become the meaning of my life.

Not sure what there is to hate about that.

 

2. We get to grow together

Many of the bloggers that share my love of personal development have reached out to me over the last year. Each of us wants to make a difference and leave a legacy behind.

I have Skype calls with Nicolas Cole, Benjamin Hardy, Joel Brown, Anthony Moore and the list goes on. Each of us shares ideas and tools with each other.

Personal development has brought us together and our individual growth has compounded because we’ve grown together. That’s the power of going beyond yourself and sharing what you have with people that want to make a difference.

 

3. Helping others is fulfilling

There’s no shortage in the personal development movement of advice that centers around helping other people.

Rather than following our selfish desires and only doing the things that serve ourselves, personal development encourages us to take things to the next level.

It teaches how getting what you want is tied to helping other people get what they want.

“If I were to distill it down to one thing, it would be this: personal development is about embracing our human nature and the philosophy that we’re all interconnected”

Can’t see anything wrong with this personally but hey, what the hell right?

 

4. Chasing passions

Why not do what we love?

If this is bad advice then freaking shoot me now and let’s be done with it. A lot of what the personal development movement advocates is to do more of what we love.

The crux of personal development is that doing something we love removes friction and allows you to be creative at something we’re highly likely to become good at (with practice).

The critics say that doing what we love is near impossible and that it’s woo-woo clap your hands and sing kumbaya talk. They think we want to go hug a tree because we believe in doing stuff we love.

I’d rather you try and do something you love and fail, than have you do work you hate or live a life of meaningless to-do lists which leads to regrets later on.

 

5. The trap of money is exposed

A lot of what the personal development movement teaches is that money won’t make you happy. Nowhere does it say that money is not important though.

Encouraging fulfillment, goals, purpose and selflessness is far better than selling you the dream that a house, car, clothes, shoes, a partner that looks like a model - will make you happy. It won’t.

Knowing how to think about money so it doesn’t sabotage your success is a gift we should all be given. So many of us still haven’t got this gift yet. There’s a lot of work to be done.

 

6. A focus on giving up bad habits

You’ll hear the phrase “giving up” in personal development a lot. That’s because a lot of your habits are not serving you.

Knowing what is holding you back, and then giving it up, is how you make room for the habits that will serve you.

There’s nothing wrong with encouraging people to think differently and analyze what they’re already doing to see if it can be adjusted.

Habits are spoken about a lot because execution and doing the work is how you get what you want. You need habits to ensure you reach your goals, get what you want and grow as a person. Nothing meaningful can be achieved without positive habits.

 

7. Less is more

The traditional advice is to keep adding more things to your never-ending to-do list and calendar and to buy more stuff. By the end, you have so much information in your mind, a to-do list that never ends and a home full of ‘stuff.’

The personal development movement is teaching us to understand how focus can change everything in our life. Focus comes from taking away items, tasks and people that don’t serve us.

The advice seems harsh and impossible to follow but it’s not. What is holding us back is the volume of ideas, thoughts and objects we have to deal with on a daily basis. What we all need is more space.

“Creativity, business and life thrive in empty space”

We can reach this place through embracing the idea that less is more.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

from
https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-critics-are-wrong-personal-development-is-not-a-bunch-of-baloney/