Monday, 30 April 2018

10 Ways to Overcome an Unhealthy Pursuit of Praise to Be Your Own Inspiration

Using praise as recognition isn’t a new concept. Look back to when you were in primary school and the number of gold star stickers for doing a good job on your homework. The childhood conditioning to expect positive reinforcement and for some, depended on it for success. Being constantly praised can be addictive. The danger in the love of being praised enables people to become conditioned to act a certain way to seek incentives. You become engrossed in seeking extrinsic motivation– the dangling carrot –  to deliver results.

You crave others “liking” your thoughts, photos and accomplishments. You experience an adrenaline rush to your brain, as you are fed praise you so desperately crave. It makes you feel a false sense of being more loved, connected than you are. People who attribute their results to environment or circumstances are viewed as having an external locus of control. You tend to believe you have little power or influence in your successes or failures.

People who view outcomes as being influenced by their own choices and action have an internal locus of control. You take responsibility for whatever happens and are more resilient in the face of ongoing change. You do anything for the simple satisfaction of accomplishment. You are driven by an internal desire to create value even when not asked of you.

Getting too much positive reinforcement can be crippling if constant praise is necessary to perform well. Let me share with you 10 ways to overcome an unhealthy pursuit of praise:

1. Be your own inspiration

Instead of waiting for another person to pat you on the back, keep your own file of accomplishments and kudos. Gather the evidence of how you met your specific goals through a time log as a way of tracking your accomplishments. When you need a boost, tap into your own line of credit and give yourself the gold star.

2. Give all the credit away

Celebrating someone else’s success or giving away praise to a group of peers, creates ripples within the workplace. Another way is to ask one of your team members for help. Without realizing it, you are offering praise by showing respect for someone’s knowledge and experience by acknowledging that you trust their judgement on a task.

3. Accountability is the magic

Invest time in conducting an accountability self-assessment. Rate yourself on each of the statements to determine whether you have an internal or external locus of control. “I am responsible for my learning to be successful, my manager should provide me all the information l need to do my job, my colleague’s behavior prevents me from performing exceptionally in my role and my commitment is the driver of my success”.

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” – Carol Burnett

4. Upgrade your standards

Eliminate the need for external praise by setting personal goals and standards. Your personal accomplishments build your self-worth and encourage you to take on more challenges. Company leaders take notice on your professional strengths and how you drive results. Spend time with mentors exploring how you can improve your work habits

5. Praise is like sugar

You gorge on the chocolate chip biscuits, the Nutella laden pizzas and fairy floss to satisfy your hardwired cravings. Social media is the same. With every “like” and retweet, every selfie, share or filter, you are overfeeding your mind as you walk around with a boundless source of praise, taking a bite every single day.

Today, the praise bar is so low that the feedback you get is meaningless, but you want it anyway. You crave praise that requires little energy to acquire. No deep thought or real effort. The more you get, the less you feel it and the more you seek to attain the satisfaction.

6. Escape the Willy Wonka land of praise

Praise isn’t always a bad thing. When you aren’t inundated with praise every day for every little thing, it means more when you finally do get it. You work harder for it and its quality rises exponentially. Praise earned is richer and more satisfying than praise thoughtlessly given away. Disconnect from social media for 2 days and see how you feel. Reassess how you use your time and what sort of praise you truly value.

7. Define what you what to achieve

Investing in what you want to accomplish detracts from your need to seek constant validation from others. Define what your end of year review would say about you, perhaps write your own eulogy highlighting your achievements and turn them into goals. Break down your big widely audacious goal into doable steps and focus on the progress.

8. Trade in the flattering sidekick

Praise addiction can drive you to form connections with people who feed your ego and withhold honest feedback. Seeking people who think you are fabulous has limited use. Actively asking quality questions such as “what can l do better? What might l work on next time to take me to the next level?”, allows you to delve deeper in how you can add more value in the future.

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius

9. Small doses

What’s good for you in small doses can be bad for you if you have too much of it. Everything requires appropriate dosage. Over-praising can imply something is exceptional then that makes it the exception to what is within the range of normal or acceptable. Constantly praising you for not disobeying all the health and safety rules implies that disobeying these rules would be more normal for you. You don’t want healthy behavior to be exceptional.

10. Benchmark of excellence

Making a huge deal out of anything someone achieves or attempts, encourages praise addiction. Praising children for turning up to school, not being disruptive or completing their assignments is poor preparation for a life of real excellence as you turn ‘normal’ into excellent.

Genuine excellence thus loses its value. Focus on praising what is within the person’s control. For instance, praising someone on their commitment to hard work. It implies that success was something they could consciously influence. Highlighting how fabulous they are for completing something gives them no meaningful information about their contribution.

The right kind of praise at the right time with the right quantity can help you develop the habit of excellence. An uncontrolled diet of praise won’t do you or anyone else any favors.

What’s one thing strategy you can put in place to become your own inspiration?



from
https://addicted2success.com/life/10-ways-to-overcome-an-unhealthy-pursuit-of-praise-to-be-your-own-inspiration/

Doing The Right Thing Is Always The Right Thing.

The headline of this article has been the subject of a lot of my recent success. It’s a phrase made famous of late by Gary Vaynerchuk although I’m pretty sure he didn’t invent it.

The creator of that phrase is unknown to me but feel free to tell me in the comments below.

I started hearing this phrase a lot and its simplicity is profound. Whenever you don’t know what action to take, you can use this phrase to rescue your arse.

Here’s a list of decisions I’ve had to make recently:

–    Do I tell people I’m quitting my job?

–    Do I throw abuse at someone who wrote something nasty about me?

–    Do I leave my used coffee cup in the supermarket trolley?

–    Do I reply to a cold reach out message with some tips in a rude tone?

In each of these scenarios, I had a choice and I used the idea of doing the right thing, as always being the right thing, as my answer to each question.

 

Doing the right thing made my decision-making process so much easier.

I write a lot about decision making because I believe it sucks away all of the energy that we need to be creative if we let it.

What if making decisions could be a lot easier?

Well, it can be. The answer is always this: “Doing the right thing is always the right thing.”

Deep down you know what the right thing is and you know good from bad. The knowledge you need to make better decisions comes from doing the right thing and seeing the result.

The results that come from doing the right thing are crystal clear and they’ll give you the evidence you need to keep on doing the right thing.

This is not about being a do-gooder; it’s about being human and getting what you want while serving others at the same time.

 

Doing the right thing is how you become the person you want to be in the future.

We don’t become who we want to be because we do the right thing and the wrong thing. Whatever success looks like for you, doing the right thing will get you there faster.

“The delusion is that cutting a few corners and not always doing the right thing is a must for success”

This is a big fucking lie.

Doing the right thing will bring the right people into your life so you can succeed quicker. The person you want to be doesn’t compromise on who they are and how they can help people. Selfishness is holding you back, not doing the right thing.

I remember having a sleepless night last week because someone published an article about me that I interpreted (and others did too) to be an attack on me.

It was a horrible day.

I felt the good person I thought I was fading into darkness.

I had so much rage that was ready to explode. Then I had an epiphany:

Doing the right thing is always the right thing.

The right thing was to contact the person who said these harmful things and treat them like a human being. This meant listening to them and telling them who I was afterwards. I had to be prepared for the outcome being both positive and negative.

I resisted the temptation to get angry and listened to my opposition. Doing this helped me to learn a hell of a lot about myself.

I did the right thing and told them I would support them either way, even if I didn’t get what I want.

Hearing those words come out of my mouth felt weird and strangely liberating.

Because I did the right thing, my so-called opponent did what I wanted. They realized I was a good person and we ended up joining the same side.

“Doing the right thing brings people closer to you – even your haters, opponents and critics”

 

Where to from here?

Commit to embracing the idea that doing the right thing is always the right thing. Play with this idea for a week. Do nothing but the right thing even if it means you lose, don’t get what you want or have to be uncomfortable because of the decision.

I’m confident that once you’ve experienced what it’s like to do the right thing, you’ll live that way from now on.

Caveat: sometimes you’ll mess up and do the wrong thing. That’s okay. You weren’t an immaculate conception and neither was I. We’re human after all and we will stuff up.

It gets easier as you go along. Doing the right thing is always the right thing. It feels good, it’s the right thing to do, it brings you closer to others and it will transform your life.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net



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https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/doing-the-right-thing-is-always-the-right-thing/

Sunday, 29 April 2018

Falling Out of Love With Your Business? 4 Ways to Rekindle That Fire Again

Time flies, and it’s easy to get caught in the mundane responsibilities of our business. Because of this, we tend to forget to love our business, and to love who we are becoming as I’ve personally experienced this myself. Have you ever thought of these difficult questions: What if you fall out of love with your business? What if you just lost it? What do you do to fall back in love again?

See, perhaps the best job in the world is to be one’s own boss. Even though it’s not that easy or as loose as it sounds, many people still jump into the bandwagon and try to come up with their own gigs. We’ve all heard it—how it’s better to not be an employee forever, and how you can serve people at a higher level if you have a business.

At first you like being the king of your time and being able to have the say on everything; however, when the realities of business ownership and management settle in, it’s also easy to just lose the zest for your business.

Imagine, you have to worry about financial management, employee retention, customer satisfaction, sales and most of the time, you even get to work on weekends as well. When your to-do list starts to lengthen more than usual, there will be times when all you want to do is shut yourself out and sleep all day.

If you need help falling back in love with your business, here are a few of my time-tested tips:

1. Mindset is key

The first thing that you need to do is to set your mindset right back on track. Ask yourself why you are doing what you do and what your business stands for. Or, if you want to amp up the purpose of your business, ask yourself, “what is the most important aspect of my job?” Another question I like is “How am I making other people’s lives better?”

Whether it’s giving jobs, solving complex problems, helping people improve their personal lives or providing above satisfactory services, you need to remind yourself what your purpose is. Take time to pause for a while and reflect on what we are there for. Usually it’s the daily drill that gets into us, and reflecting on our purpose re-energizes us back into taking those drills more seriously and purposefully.

“Anyone can train to be a gladiator. What marks you out is having the mindset of a champion.” – Manu Bennett

2. Declutter your head

Now, if you think that it’s the huge mound of tasks getting to you, start delegating some of the little ones to a trustworthy assistant or personnel. Pass some important but easy and time-consuming tasks like website maintenance, social media marketing and calendar scheduling off to an assistant. This will give you more energy and time to focus on the more important aspects of your business or future projects. Think of it as freeing up “brain space”.

A productivity funnel I swear by is something Tim Ferriss taught in his famous book “The Four Hour Work Week”. It’s eliminate-automate-delegate. Every once in a while, I ask myself about the tasks in my to-do list which I can just eliminate, then I automate the others, then for whatever is left, I delegate.

The residual tasks after that is just around 3-10 things (depending on how busy that day is) and I usually get it done in an hour or two of deep work. Then I feel good and productive along with being back on track. A lot of procrastination happens when we’re riddled with self doubt and loss of purpose, but you don’t have to go through that for very long.

3. Self-care and team development

Next, don’t forget to take some time off. Take a quick vacation (one weekend will do) to inspire yourself and perhaps generate fresh ideas and more innovative perspectives. Indulge your employees to these kinds of mini vacations once in a while as well. You can also hit two birds with one stone by going on a nice workshop where you can visit a new place for vacation, but also meet new people for possible prospects or additional guidance.

The change of environment will be good for you, plus you’ll come home with more actionable tasks. This has worked very well for me. In fact, I get some of my best business launch ideas when I’m on a massage table on a random beach resort!

“Take time to do what makes your soul happy.”

4. Pat yourself on the back

Lastly, the best thing about having a good business, is that you also have the opportunity to see it through other people’s eyes. And which eyes are the best alternatives? Your happy clients. Review your testimonials, rekindle with an old client, and revive appreciations for your business.

For their time, you can ask these clients what else they would like to have from your offers, and how you can help them further. Don’t sell to them, just ask them how you can help them. It could even be a small introduction which will help them move the needle in their business too.

This kind of connection rekindles the initial feelings of fulfillment that you got when you first served them well. That feeling might have been years behind, but you can tap into the memory and make it work in your favor when times make you feel low.

What’s more, these revitalized connections can even spring new products and services, a fantastic upsell, and a fresh new perspective for your offers. Read old testimonials, get in touch with them and see how it goes. You might surprise yourself.

See, it’s not very difficult? You simply have to start with the right mindset and work from there. For a while, take your time off the numbers (sales, debts, etc.) and work on the heart of your business—the purpose. Once you get it right from there, the numbers will eventually concede.

Which one of these 4 ways can help you most in falling in love again with your own business or job? Let us know your comments and tips below!



from
https://addicted2success.com/entrepreneur-profile/falling-out-of-love-with-your-business-4-ways-to-rekindle-that-fire-again/

Saturday, 28 April 2018

4 Ways to Invest in Your Personal Growth Strategy to Make an Impact on Your Income

Has the traditional model of education left you bored, unmotivated, or made you view learning as a chore? If so, perhaps this perception has continued into adulthood and is now holding you back from being the person you feel you were meant to be. If so, you are looking at learning the wrong way.

Successful people know that personal growth will increase their impact and income. However, many people still hold on to the negative association with learning from their school days and don’t strive to grow.

Here are 4 ways to invest in your own personal growth strategy to help you earn more this year:

1. Are You “Making” Money or “Earning” Money?

First, we have to focus on your mindset. This will help you maximize your growth strategy. Are you looking to “make” more money or “earn” more money? It’s a subtle difference but one that will help you tremendously.

People who want to make more money might think of ways of getting money from other people and forget about helping others succeed first. This is a “me first” mentality which customers and clients can see right through. This thought process usually doesn’t build trust and seems to stunt success in the long term.

However, people who want to earn more money think of ways to add value to others first. By adding value to other people you will become more valuable and then you will see your income grow.

2. View Learning as an Investment

Successful people are ones who are continually improving all areas of their lives. Just like a healthy plant innately knows it has to grow or else get choked out by other weeds and plants, entrepreneurs know that to become better and earn more money, they have to grow or else the competition will surpass them. Growth is vital in all areas of life including health, family, relationships, spirituality and wealth.

In order to earn more money, you must first change your mindset to that of a lifelong learner.  Start by learning something small each day. These little changes add up to big results and become a snowball effect. You won’t know the future impact it will have until you get started. Plant the seed now and watch it grow.

“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo

Here are a few of my favorite ways to learn are:

  1. Read a book for 30 minutes a day – Find an expert who has written a book on the topic you want to master. By investing in reading for 30 minutes a day, you will find you can read a book faster than you thought possible.
  2. Listen to podcasts and audiobooks – Want to learn in the car, while exercising or cleaning the house? Podcasts and audiobooks are great ways to take success principles and apply them to your life while on the go.
  3. Take an online course – eLearning courses are some of the most effective ways to learn. You can learn what works and what doesn’t work from an expert and shortcut your success all from the comfort of your computer, tablet or smartphone. Take advantage of mobile learning, time-shifted learning, video-based training and “gamification”.
  4. Attend conferences and seminars – Not only will you learn strategies and tactics from the speakers, but you’ll also network with like-minded people in your industry.
  5. Watch tutorial videos – You can learn any skill by searching YouTube and Google. Simply type in what you want to learn or a question about your topic and you will be able to learn from other people who have found success.

3. Get Paid for Learning More

Now that you view your learning as an investment strategy and have recommendations on how to learn, it’s time to know the two best ways that your learning will impact your income. By doing one or both of these strategies you will increase the value you provide to your customers or clients and earn more money. 

The first strategy is to improve your existing skill set. This will make you more knowledgeable, more efficient and know what mistakes to avoid. These are highly valuable in the workforce which enables you to charge more for services you are already providing.

The second strategy is to learn new skills so you add more services to your arsenal. This will help you create additional sources of revenue. With either of these two strategies, you can promote your increased knowledge by getting new certifications, achieving a high score on an assessment or completing an online course.

That way your customers or clients see that you are smarter, more efficient and can serve them better. Imagine how much more you can earn if you improve your existing skills and add new ones?

4. Leverage Learning for Maximum Earning

When building your personal growth strategy, it is very important to determine what to learn in order to be most effective. Do not settle for learning something that will bring a small amount of financial success.

Find things that your customers and clients will pay the most for and either learn how to do it yourself or bring someone on your team that can do it faster and cheaper. In the book, The 12 Week Year, the authors Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington share how to break your year into 12 week sprints. This helps you create focus and clarity on what matters most. It will give you a plan to move forward.

Do you want to be a technician or would creating a system and managing the process bring in more revenue? While you may think you need to improve upon tactics, perhaps you really need to improve your strategic thinking or management skills. In Michael Gerber’s book, The E-myth Revisited, he breaks down how to create an effective company by getting out of the technical work. Usually, technicians do not get paid very well and are easily replaced.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

What is the maximum potential for your personal growth? Most people do not know because they do not take the time to invest in their own personal growth strategy.  Imagine yourself walking on a lifelong journey. You will drastically change the direction you go with a simple change each day in the direction you want to go rather than wandering aimlessly.

You can make small changes by improving your existing skills and learning new ones since you have the power to control your own path. As a case in point, make learning a lifelong process and see how your income dramatically grows because of it.

Which one of these 4 will help you learn more and earn more this year? Let us know below!



from
https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/4-ways-to-invest-in-your-personal-growth-strategy-to-make-an-impact-on-your-income/

Friday, 27 April 2018

6 Ways to Crush Your Inner Demons and Create Explosive Growth in Your Life

Powerful people are known for their ambition and desire to chase the impossible making it a reality. What sets them apart from the rest is their determination to play big and slay their inner demons. Powerful and successful people didn’t get to where they are today because they made excuses. They achieved their success because they eliminated anything that didn’t serve their big picture vision. Take control back of your life today to step into your fullest potential.

Here are the 6 demons holding you back from taking action and claiming the life you deserve:

1. Slay Your Big Picture Goals and Step into Greatness

Your lust for instant gratification is holding you back from achieving long-term goals. Tap into a powerful mindset by mapping out your goals starting with the end in mind. Create milestones as you work backwards to your starting point and acknowledge the milestones you hit along the way to keep tabs on your progress.

2. Get Control of Your Thoughts and Change Your Life

Thoughts of negativity and doubt are leading your life and holding you back from leaping into greatness. It’s the angel and devil on your shoulder scenario but you’re letting the devil win. Gain control of your thoughts and change your life by replacing the negativity with words of empowerment and motivation. This simple and effective exercise will do the trick:

  1. Identify self-sabotaging thoughts
  2. Write out all of the accompanying beliefs that make that thought true
  3. Reframe your perspective by writing out why you’re capable and deserving of your desires
  4. Read from start to finish

The most powerful leaders practice this as soon as the devil starts to creep back in. The key is recognizing these thoughts immediately and destroying them before they hinder progress.

“Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.” – Chris Grosser

3. Plunge into Powerful Opportunities by Taking Messy Action

The most successful people in life didn’t get to where they are today because they waited for the perfect moment, they took the plunge and figured it out along the way. If you’re waiting to do something because you want it to be ‘perfect’, you’re never going to achieve it. Powerful people recognize opportunity and destroy fears by facing perfectionism head on and taking action.

4. Fuel Your Inner-Self and Create Habits That Serve Your Success

Success is about choosing between what you want right now and what you want the most. If it isn’t serving your big picture vision, eliminate it. Ditch the junk food and addictive habits. Powerful leaders all have one thing in common: their focus on their mind, body and health. They’ve replaced social media and tv dependencies, with reading, meditation and healthy eating habits.

5. Control Your Environment and Invest in Your Mindset

You will never grow to your fullest potential by keeping toxic people in your life. They’re known as vampires that suck the energy from you and do anything to keep you small. If you can’t eliminate them, detach yourself and minimize contact with them. Surround yourself with quality not quantity.

“If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn

6. Level Up Your Confidence to Live to Your Greatest Potential

If you’re never going after opportunities, you’ll never know what you’re fully capable of. People who play small, settle for unfulfilling lives because complacency sets in. Level up your confidence by taking a leap and unleashing your power to achieve something great.

Stop letting these demons hold you hostage from living out the life you desperately desire. You’re meant for a life so much greater than you’re living. Take action today to crush these soul-sucking limitations and achieve massive growth.

How you do find confidence in yourself? Comment below!



from
https://addicted2success.com/life/6-ways-to-crush-your-inner-demons-and-create-explosive-growth-in-your-life/

Thursday, 26 April 2018

The 9 Question Exercise Which Will Help You Prioritize What Matters Most

You’re busy, I get it. If you’re like me, you’re constantly jumping from one activity to the next. From one commitment to another, you barely have enough time to think, let alone ask yourself the meaningful questions that will help you drive your career forward or lift your business to the next level. Nonetheless, you owe it to yourself and those around you to take the time to clearly define your goals and your aspirations if you are going to make real progress in any direction.

If you’re caught in the race or just trying to keep up with the Joneses, take it upon yourself to ask these questions. Take a few hours to sit down and write out the answers to these questions. If you’re working as part of a team, consider asking these questions as a group and starting a discussion around them.

Here are the 9 questions you need to be asking yourself on a consistent basis:

1. Where will your future growth come from?

This can relate to your business or your personal life. Consider whether you are in a place to grow emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually. Where will you have the greatest opportunity to grow? What form will this growth take?

2. How do you think your current strategy is going to change, based on emerging trends such as… [fill in the blank]?

Everyone experiences change. You are influenced by different things in different ways, and you have to be ready to face those changes by adjusting your goals and aspirations.

3. Why have you been successful so far? How will these reasons for success change in the future?

Consider what you have done which has worked well in the past and look at ways in which this might not work in the future. It is important to realize what has worked in the past may not always work in the future, so consider ways you may have to shift your thinking to address future goals.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” – James Altucher

4. If you had more money, time or resources, how would you invest them to reach your goals more quickly or more effectively?

Sometimes it is valuable to consider what you would do if you had the option to invest more capital or resources into a project or a plan. Think about what you would do if you had all the time and money in the world. How would that affect your decisions and your next steps?

5. Are there things you can stop doing or place less emphasis on?

Consider how you spend your time currently. Are there things you do that don’t provide a return on investment? Are there things that you do which hinder your ability to get more done? Think about the habits you have and the people you spend time with. Where is there room to adjust or shift how you spend your time?  

6. What would you ask for if you were not afraid of getting “no” as an answer?

Most of us avoid taking action or moving towards our goals because we are afraid of being told “no” or rejected in some way. Rejection happens to everyone, and we won’t be able to put it off simply by avoiding action. Most often, the things that you are afraid of doing because you may receive a “no” response are the things you really should do.

7. As you think about the future of your career, your business or the project you’re working on, what are you most excited about?

Too often, we are so caught up in the minutiae of a day-to-day routine that we forget the reason we are doing something in the first place. Think about why you are most excited about something, and why you have started down a certain path.

“What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” – Bob Dylan

8. As you think about the future, what are you most worried about?

It is likely that one thing getting in the way of you accomplishing your goals is the worry that you will fail to meet expectations. Take a closer look at what you are most worried about and try to understand the reasons for those worries. Often, the worries are unfounded, and you may be able to alleviate those worries through sheer force of will.

9. What are your dreams for the future?

This is one of the more challenging questions you will be asked to answer, but it is still incredibly important. Consider your dreams for the future, not just for this project or business or activity, but your long term dreams. What do you want your life to represent? What do you want your mark to be on the world?

The more detail you’re able to put into the responses to these questions, the more you will be able to create a strategy for how to effectively adjust and reach your goals. Take those 2 or 3 hours this month to write out your responses to these questions, and I assure you it will make a tremendous difference in your life and how you think about your aspirations.

Which one of these questions has made the most profound impact on your life? Comment below and let us know!



from
https://addicted2success.com/life/the-9-question-exercise-which-will-help-you-prioritize-what-matters-most/

What I’ve Learned Working In Finance For Six Years (Hint: It Applies To Everyone)

I’ve been in the corporate world of finance now for more than six years. I get everyone from kids straight out of college, to older guys and girls that have been out of the workforce for ages, to people looking for a career change asking about the finance industry.

I’ve found the real lessons I’ve gained from working in finance are far broader than just one industry. Finance has taught me life skills and how to deal with people. While the startup world was fun, the finance industry gave me some extra skills.

Here’s what I learned working in finance:

 

1. The grass is never greener.

Over the years, many of my colleagues have left finance to start their own thing or join some new age fintech that apparently has all the answers – that is, until they come up against credit risk or accidentally fund terrorism through their products and services. The grass is never greener.

“Every company, whether it’s a large bank or one you started yourself, is going to have challenges. It comes down to which flavors of challenges you like the most”

Maybe you have to be really innovative in your career but don’t mind lack of funding or small travel budgets.

Maybe you have to work with really smart people but don’t mind being in a low budget office. The people I’ve met in finance that are always chasing greener grass never seem to find it.

At some point, we can’t avoid challenges or people we don’t like – they exist in all companies whether we like it or not. Learning to deal with these facts is how I’ve stayed in finance for six years and not given up on my career.

 

2. There are mediocre people everywhere we go.

In finance, like any industry, there are mediocre people. Some of them are uneducated; some of them lack critical thinking; some of them have zero sales ability; some are afraid of customers; some of them love a good company paid breakfast for no good reason. We can’t avoid mediocre people.

“What I’ve learned through my years in finance is that it’s not that people are mediocre or dumb; it’s that everyone has different priorities”

Some people want to leave at 5:01 pm to be with their kids and that’s okay.

Just because we don’t prioritize our career and our KPIs, doesn’t mean any of us are dumb because of it. There are many levels of intelligence within a company and all are acceptable.

I’ve visited a few unique and prestigious businesses in Silicon Valley where everyone is a genius and these companies spend half their time arguing who the smartest person is in the room rather than getting down to business and solving a real problem in the world.

 

3. There are good leaders and bad ones.

Don’t get emotional about it, just spend as much time as you can with the good ones. There will be leaders you encounter who are trying it out and who’ve been given a chance. There will be other leaders you meet that are born for the role.

Everyone has the right to step up and be a leader regardless of their ability.

My career in finance has been focused on getting around the good leaders. Sometimes you’ll have to work for a bad leader and the key is to suck it up, eat shit for a while, and then leave and work for a leader you believe in.

 

4. Your career is never going to be full of highlights.

I was on the homepage of our company’s website twice in one year. Many never get this chance ever in their career and it happened to me twice in one year.

Then there was a year after that where nothing happened. There were no big milestones, no punching the air and plenty of low points involving customers.

In finance, and in the business world, it’s never going to be a back-to-back show-reel of Instagram highlights where we win every day.

There will be periods of massive growth and then there will be months and even years where nothing happens – times where we show up for work each day expecting something big to happen and it doesn’t.

 

5. The need for a side hustle.

Our career can’t always be full of highlights, which is why we need a side hustle. Think of it like another avenue that we can use to kick goals, grow and broaden your skills. For me, outside of working in finance, it became social media and blogging. Over the last five years of my finance career, I’ve hustled my face off learning somewhat non-related skills that have nothing to do with finance.

Side hustles allow us to explore our wild side. Working in finance can be quite dry and without my side hustle, I may have succumbed to suppressing my emotions, wearing a corporate mask and dressing in a suit and tie every day.

Side hustles helped me keep it real. Some days I work in jeans and a t-shirt. Other days I wear the cliché suit. My side hustle helped me live a little and get some perspective on what the finance industry was really about. The answer? Like every business, finance is about people.

 

6. Once we understand people, we’re set.

People go through a range of emotions every day. Once we understand that what’s happening in business could be entirely down to the fact they’re human, and nothing to do with business, we see the business landscape differently.

We become more compassionate to stakeholders, we treat customers with kindness and we quit thinking that we’re a freaking genius that has all the answers and if only people would listen to us the business would make 10X the profits.

Business is about people and by understanding them we can see it for what it is. Our customers are also people, and our interactions with them become easier when we come to grips with this fact.

If I were to get you to learn one thing, it would be the basics of psychology. Most of the key points can be Googled for free but the value they bring will help whether you’re in finance or any another industry.

 

7. We’re all constantly growing in secret.

I always thought that GM’s, CEO’s, etc, had it made. I always thought that they woke up each day and came to work with a killer instinct. The finance industry taught me I was wrong. The leaders we admire with those big job titles are just like you and me: they’re scared as F.

The difference is that the leaders we admire are growing in secret.

You think they have it made but when you get in their head, you realize that even with their success they suffer the same human pitfalls that you and I do. The difference is they embrace those pitfalls and take action regardless.

Even your heroes are fearful when they have to perform, but they do it anyway.

 

8. Your happiness doesn’t stay the same.

At the start of a new role in any industry, we’re loaded with energy. We come to work with new strategies and different ways to acquire customers. Then a few years go by and we become a bit negative. We see the same challenges over and over and the same people failing to take action.

This can lead to unhappiness in our career.

What working in finance has taught me is that there will be times we’re really happy with our role and other times where we are unhappy.

What we learn in the unhappy times helps us when we’re living through the happy times. If you expect to get into any industry and be blazing on fire for decades straight you’ll be sadly disappointed. One solution I’ve found is to change up my career and try new things.

Maybe you start in a sales role and end up working in product or risk. Maybe you work in customer service and end up in a strategy role.

Much of the unhappiness is tied to boredom and changing roles can help reboot our happiness at work.

 

9. Innovation is much harder than we think.

Geez, if there’s is one thing I have seen a lot of in many financial services businesses it’s innovation. So many companies have tried it and it never works. Sometimes it’s too much red tape that is put around the business or idea which ultimately suffocates the life out of any opportunity to innovate.

Other times it’s the wrong people that kill the innovation.

“Surprisingly, one thing that makes innovation really challenging is an abundance of resources”

Large businesses can afford to throw lots of money against the wall at innovation whereas startups can’t.

The limitations and budget restraints a startup has are often why they can be nimble and innovative. In the end, true innovation is damn hard. If it were easy, then many businesses would be more successful than they are.

The key is not to give up on innovation. It’s a slow process to embed innovation into the culture of a business and get results. True innovation requires a lot more failure than the leaders in the business world are often comfortable with.

It’s only by looking at what doesn’t work that we find truly innovative solutions.

 

10. It’s not about networking: it’s about helping.

Someone emailed me yesterday and said, “Hey I’d like to network with you.”

I thought to myself “Wow that sounds really silly!”

This idea that we have to network is stupid. What makes more sense is to build relationships just like we would with friends. Networking is focused too much on what we can get and what we will give in return. It’s transactional and it feels unnatural.

The subtle difference is that when we build a relationship with someone (instead of network with them) we’re not seeking anything from them. There’s no expectation and that’s where the magic lies right there.

 

11. We all experience bad publicity. It’s how we handle it.

Even monster success stories like Facebook have bad publicity. Working in finance can have some ugly moments. Not everyone is honest and there will be times where the business you work for or even your own business may face negative publicity.

No company or industry (including finance) is perfect. Businesses make mistakes just like humans do because ‘Business’ is just a label for a group of humans doing their life’s work.

Expecting the company you work for to be a perfect corporate citizen is a fantasy.

 

12. Listening to customers is not easy but it works.

Working in finance has allowed me to see my fair share of angry customers. For years, I tried to defend my position and this caused me to miss what the customer was saying.

After a while in finance, I learned that if you shut up and listen to the client, you learn much more. Sometimes they might yell at you for 30-minutes flat. Sit there and listen.

By listening, you get the chance to understand the problem fully and it gets your mind ticking with ideas. When people feel they are being properly listened to, they’re more receptive to the solutions you present for their problems.

It’s freaking revolutionary when you listen more. Not just in business but in life too.

 

13. What you have for lunch matters.

I was eating chicken nuggets in a bread roll for ages and it caused me to be sleepy in the afternoon. This killed my productivity and my desire to work effectively so I would cram all my challenging tasks into the morning.

Once I learned what a proper lunch was and began eating one every day, my energy, mood and productivity improved. I’m still getting better but what I learned is to monitor carefully what I eat if I want the energy to excel in my career. Bread, at lunchtime in particular, tends to suck away my energy later in the afternoon.

 

14. Kindness and compassion are superpowers.

Your humility separates you from the pack. Trying my best in my finance career to show compassion and be kind to people has helped me immensely. These two traits are rarer than you think.

In the business world, kindness and compassion are the glue that sticks all of the right opportunities together for you and presents them as a beautiful collage.

The reason I’ve had some cool opportunities (particularly of late) is that I’ve tried to be different instead of being like everyone else. I’ve questioned the way business works and experimented with kindness and compassion.

It turns out these two traits make people see me in a weird way. It’s almost like these two traits make me more human.

Kindness and compassion are about seeing the best in people before making assumptions that they’re out to screw you. Kindness and compassion are about believing in the power of the human species above all else.

 

15. Taking off the mask is freeing.

For the first half of my career in finance, I wore a mask. It’s hard to admit but it’s true. I used corporate language like “revenue targets” and “customer value proposition” and took a notepad to meetings to look smart. I wore the nicely ironed suit with the cute little cufflinks.

I said hello politely to everyone and was graceful. When it came to social media, I promoted the company and supported my colleagues. I told people I liked what they did even when I didn’t.

I did all of this because I thought that being fake and wearing a mask of bravery and perfection was what you had to do to succeed. I thought that’s how business land worked.

I found that all of this acting became exhausting and it was incongruent with who I really was. Deep down, I was an entrepreneur and a highly creative person that wanted to express himself.

After a string of bizarre situations – like narrowly missing cancer and seeing a few people close to me like my grandma pass away – I decided to throw away the mask.

I started dropping the odd F-Bomb. I told people politely when I didn’t like their idea. I became brutally honest with clients and stopped telling them what they wanted to hear.

All of this led to the real version of me being on display. Some people liked it and others weren’t interested.

“Either way, you can’t keep faking it till you make it at work every day because eventually, you’ll fall down from all the BS and wonder whose life you’ve been living for the last six years”

 

16. Scheduling holidays in advance provides additional motivation.

Let’s not pretend we’re 100% motivated each week at work. Some weeks will suck and that’s normal. Booking holidays in advance gives me a permanent memory of yet another thing that’s great about life: taking breaks.

The first half of my finance career involved almost no holidays. Not only did I become burnt out, but I also didn’t have as much to look forward to. Then I began booking in holidays to New Zealand, the USA and Japan. My motivation changed. I’d work harder leading up to holiday time so that I could take an even bigger break away from it all.

Holidays became like a reset button for my finance career and they gave me something else to aim for other than boring old KPIs.

 

17. Working really long hours means there’s a problem.

There have been a lot of times I’ve encountered people in finance working their butt off. I used to think it’s cool; now I see it as a problem.

If you’re working long hours, there is a problem. You’re either unproductive, distracted or under-resourced. All of these issues can be resolved and working stupidly hard is not the answer.

“Productivity is the opposite of working long hours”

 

18. You’ll have to speak in front of others.

That’s why I tell everybody to get their arse to Toastmasters and learn how to speak without having a thousand Ums and Ahs between every word. Public speaking is a basic form of communication and mastering it is how you get across your ideas, visions and tell phenomenal stories.

No matter your speaking ability in front of others, it’s time to improve it.

 

19. Most people have no idea about business so don’t feel so bad.

Yep, that’s the truth! All these people you meet in business that sound like they know what they’re talking about often don’t. They are just regurgitating something they heard or read which they thought was right.

We all pretend like business is an art and so many times it’s not what it’s made out to be. The science of business has more to do with life skills than anything else. Most books about business try and overcomplicate something that isn’t that hard.

“The greatest challenge and complexity with business is understanding its simplicity”

 

20. Change is guaranteed. Why not embrace it?

And here’s the final thing I’ll say: whether you work in finance like me or in another industry, change is guaranteed. One of these will happen to you:

–    Your industry will be disrupted if it hasn’t been already

–    Your company will go through a restructure, merger or be acquired which may cause you to lose your job

–    The business you are a part of could fail

–    Or a natural disaster or manmade event like a GFC could screw with your career

Change is guaranteed in your career so rather than avoiding it, what I’ve learned in finance is to embrace it. See the fork in the road as the greatest gift you’ve ever been given.

Welcome change with open arms otherwise it will be the kiss of death to your perfect, cookie-cutter career in whatever.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net



from
https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/what-ive-learned-working-in-finance-for-six-years-hint-it-applies-to-everyone/

Wednesday, 25 April 2018

5 Ways to Think Yourself Into Mind Blowing Results From Globally Renowned Leaders

Many wonder why someone who’s less qualified is achieving greater success even though you’re smarter, work harder, or even have more influential connections. The only way someone succeeds is by thinking correctly. It doesn’t matter who you know, what school you attended, or what grades you got; all that matters are your thoughts. Both men and women around the world have been telling people “the secret” to success for hundreds of years. It’s time to listen.

Here are five tactics to begin today:

1. Writing Goals the Napoleon Hill Way

Thinking yourself into mind blowing results starts with the end in mind. Athletes know exactly what their goal is and how to earn the points to win. Life’s exactly the same.  In nearly every Napoleon Hill book, he lays out a goal achieving formula which has helped millions around the world. By following this, you will accomplish something you currently believe is impossible.

Start by writing a clear statement of your desire, then formulate a clear plan to attain it. You’ll also need to know what you plan on giving up in return. Set a definite time limit. Everything you wrote down, memorize it and repeat it to yourself often. It’s imperative you express gratitude towards receiving the results you’re still working for. Be grateful you achieved your desired outcomes long before you actually materialize them into your world.

“If you cannot do great things yourself, remember that you may do small things in a great way.” – Napoleon Hill

2. Creating Your Mental Image How Bob Proctor Teaches

In Bob Proctor’s’ book, You Were Born Rich, he titled Chapter 3, “The Image Maker” because we think in pictures. Our thoughts are like movie clips being projected on the screens of our minds; control the pictures, control the outcomes.  It’s vital to manage our thoughts and expel the ones that don’t serve us. Knowing this, you’re now the ‘mental architect’ of your life, of your destiny!

Once you have your desired outcome, it’s time to put that image on the screen of your mind. See yourself already in possession of what you desire. Clearly watch yourself living it, hearing the sounds and feeling the feelings you’ll experience.

A powerful question to ask to know which moment should be on the screen of your mind is, “what’s the last thing that needs to happen in order for me to know I’ve achieved the result I’m after?” This is the moment to focus on!

3. Allow Dr. David Schwartz to Give Yourself a Daily Pep-Talk

Start thinking more of yourself through self-praise. You’ll begin to discover how much bigger and stronger you feel when you upgrade your thinking habits. In Dr. David Schwartz’s book, The Magic of Thinking Big, he provides you with a daily technique. Constantly reminding yourself that you’re top-notch by using his “Sell-Yourself-to-Yourself 60 Second Commercial.”

Developing the “commercial” is as easy as writing down your assets and points of superiority. What’ll separate you from the herd is practicing your “commercial” out loud in front of a mirror once a day with enthusiasm and determination. Lastly, read it silently many times throughout the day as a constant reminder of your greatness. Just like a written goal, keep this with you at all times. It’s a great mental tool to regain enthusiasm and determination after the inevitable setback.

4. Experience Unlimited Power Like Tony Robbins

Have you heard about Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)? It’s the study of success and how to emulate it; it’s the language of the mind and how to create concise results. From the many learnings gathered from both Tony Robbins and the study of NLP, controlling your state of mind is one thing that will drastically change the results you’re currently producing.

In his book, Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins gifted us with the technique, “memory management.” This is linking an emotion to a memory which instantly elicits that empowering feeling. Simply know your arsenal of positive memories to think about when you need that extra umph.

Successful people gain access to their most resourceful emotions on a consistent basis, you can too. What’s great about the mind is that they don’t even need to be real memories. Daydreaming about your fantasy life will do the trick too!

“People who succeed at the highest level are not lucky; they’re doing something differently than everyone else.” – Tony Robbins

5. Think Positive as if You Were Norman Vincent Peale

Believing in yourself is vital to succeed, but not crucial to begin. The path to attainment is by forming faith and expectancy that what you desire is going to happen. In Norman Vincent Peale’s book, The Power of Positive Thinking, he wrote a chapter for each of these important necessities; believing and expecting. By not having both of these right now, or even just one of them, that shouldn’t stop you from anything!

There’s an undeniable cure for both. To believe in yourself and have the full expectation that what you want will come to pass, the only tactic out there are autosuggestions, commonly known as affirmations.

Developing statements in the positive, present tense and repeating them thousands of times a day, you’ll reprogram your subconscious mind to a success-filled mindset. By convincing your subconscious to believe in your end game, soon enough, you’ll begin to expect it; just like you expect to go to sleep tonight.

Since our minds are the most powerful force in all of creation, it’s time to start using it to its fullest potential. Start today by writing your goal the Napoleon Hill way!



from
https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/5-ways-to-think-yourself-into-mind-blowing-results-from-globally-renowned-leaders/

Enough With The Word ‘Startup’

The word ‘startup’ has created a false reality.

When we think of startups we now think of the following:

  • Cool kids wearing their startup t-shirts
  • Co-working spaces
  • Lots of lattes with a picture drawn in the froth
  • San Francisco and how perfect it is (I’ve been there and it’s not perfect:  #HomelessPeopleEverywhere)
  • Unicorns (not the ones you see on kid’s shows)
  • Made up valuations (a GFC fixes this problem nicely)
  • Accelerators (an overload of opinions that are just that)
  • Pitch nights where investors are made to look like Fortune Tellers and experts when the reality is nothing more than this: they’re guessing

 

It’s time to bin the word startup.

The word has no meaning. Day one is the start and then everything after that is just business. By continually using the word startup we’re implying we’re still at the start when we’re not.

“The word startup makes us feel crappy because it puts us in the amateur, early stage, “I’m still learning” category which never expires”

We never know what we’re doing in business completely and that’s a good thing.

Everything is constantly changing and so we’re going to be lifelong learners in the business world whether we like it or acknowledge it.

 

The word ‘Startup” means business so let’s call it that.

Just like a penis, big or small, it’s a fucking penis. Let’s call it what it is.

Maybe you’re a small business with one employee.

Maybe you’re a large corporation with 35,000 employees

Maybe you work one day a week on a side hustle.

Maybe you have two freelancers working for you one day a month.

It’s all just business. Sorry cool kids, the word ‘startup’ doesn’t make business any easier, different, simpler, funkier or any other description you can give.

 

Can everyone really be an entrepreneur?

I’ll give it to you straight amigo: no, they can’t.

“Some of you suck at entrepreneurship even though Instagram sells you on the dream that you can sit on the beach with your laptop, sip a cocktail, take a selfie and do one hour of work a day”

This is all a lie designed to mess with your head and force you to suffer FOMO thus resulting in social media engagement for someone with a landing page that leads to a digital product where there’s a payment wall for you to insert your credit card number and add money to a bank account that’s not yours.

Many of you can’t handle:

  • Risk
  • Stupid amount of stress
  • 12-hour days
  • Managing other people
  • Having to be creative
  • Customers whose demands never stop
  • The game of money
  • Soul crushing failure

The list could go on forever. There are so many components to entrepreneurship.

Only about 1% of people are truly cut out for it. Just like not everyone can be a leader - otherwise there would be no followers - not everyone can be an entrepreneur. And that’s okay.

You’re human - you’ll be okay.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try entrepreneurship. Sometimes giving it a shot and doing it is the only way to find out.

Life is not all about startups and entrepreneurship - there’s more to it than that.

 

When does the ‘Startup Phase’ end?

It doesn’t.

Some people say Stripe is a startup even though they do billions in revenue now. Some people call my side-hustle a startup even though it’s just me.

The word ‘startup’ keeps getting used because somehow it puts you in a different league where growth hackers (I call it sales), dev-ops, UX designers and a whole bunch of other words that describe a team that does sales or builds software exists.

 

A startup is not a startup; it’s called a business.

No more buzz words.

No more unicorns.

No more thinking you’re smarter than your competitors.

No more BS valuations.

No more naming and shaming people who don’t want to be a founder of a startup like you.

Not everyone is in love with startups and not all of us want to be founders. Some people want to be stay-at-home dads or stay-at-home moms.

Some people want to raise their kids instead of being on the front of Startup Daily with a bunch of cool kids.

There’s more to life than fucking startups and #StartupLife.

 

Business is business. 

  1. You build a product or service with you or a co-founder.
  2. You attempt to see whether it solves a problem
  3. You continue validating the idea beyond your mom & dad, friends and work colleagues
  4. You make some money - $1, $100, $100k - it doesn’t matter
  5. You continuously improve the product to make your customers happier
  6. You make them happy and the business makes more money
  7. You build out a team so you can grow the business to be bigger
  8. Then you either stop at where you are and be bloody happy, or you raise money in some form - VC, bank, angels, parents, ICO (insert trendy way to borrow more money)
  9. You hi-five everyone, sell the business and sit on a beach or you keep going because it becomes about more than money

THE END.

 

Final Word On Startups. 

If you want to create a business, then do it. If you don’t then that’s fine too.

Find a problem, solve it and be humble as hell about it if you succeed. There’s more to this world than the ridiculous label that is startup.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net



from
https://addicted2success.com/startups/enough-with-the-word-startup/

Tuesday, 24 April 2018

2 Secret Roads to Success – Why Some People Have It All and How You Can Too

Have you wondered how some people seem to have it all – the 6-figure pay check, a healthy and fit body and amazing relationships? On the other hand, others are successful in one aspect of our lives (perhaps we are happy with our careers) but there’s always something that’s missing – that strong body, that perfect someone or living a meaningful life.

I’ve personally experienced having a successful career but failed at having a healthy and strong body. When I finally succeeded at getting and staying healthy, I realized that there are two completely different approaches, both of which need to be mastered to find success in life – the goal-driven approach and the process-driven approach.

The Goal-Driven Approach

A goal-driven approach is one in which our goals themselves, are sufficient to motivate us to act until we achieve them. This works well for:

  1. Short-term goals lasting a few days or a few weeks, where we can see the end in sight and push ourselves to get there.
  2. Goals that are usually within or just outside our comfort zone.
  3. Goals that have some certainty of success at the end. For example, working overnight and acing the client presentation the next morning makes us feel proud of our achievement and gets us recognition from our boss.

This approach inherently rewards speed, agility and short bursts of intense work. We end up relying on quick wins or successes which make the task worth it and help us feel motivated to achieve our goals.

Most of us are very adept at using this approach because we’ve grown up in environments, traditional education and companies, which operate this way. Schools and universities set exams and corporate jobs require us to complete tasks upon which we get good grades or promotions.

When the Goal-Driven Approach Doesn’t Work

What a goal-driven approach doesn’t teach us though is how to approach long-term goals like staying healthy, having meaningful relationships or building our careers around our purpose in life.

  1. These goals are usually so big and so long-term that we don’t fully understand all the steps to reach them.
  2. They don’t have any immediate reward associated with them so our motivation to chase them decreases after the initial burst of inspiration. For example, it’s impossible to lose weight and keep it off by just eating healthy for a week.
  3. Because they are so long-term, any future action of ours can completely wipe out the gains made in the beginning of the process which is even more de-motivating. For example, a week of eating healthy can be wiped out by one night of bingeing.
  4. There is also no artificial sense of urgency like deadlines -so we need to find the motivation internally to engage in the task every day. If we ever try to impose timelines on these tasks, it only stresses us out and we compensate by completely sabotaging ourselves like eating an entire pack of cookies one fine night exhausted from a week of eating too little.

“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra

The Process-Driven Approach

The process-driven approach breaks down our big goals into minute goals and creates a habit to execute these minute goals regularly.

Putting such a habit into place is simple. Just follow these four steps:

  1. Break down your big vision into multiple long-term goals all of which have to work together to make your big vision come true. For example, for your big goal of feeling healthy and fit, you may break it down into eating healthier, exercising regularly and sleeping more.
  2. Pick one of the goals to focus on, ideally the one you think will have the biggest payoff.
  3. Break this goal down into a series of simple activities that you can do without much effort. For example, let’s say you picked eating healthier as your priority goal. One of the activities that might be sabotaging you is your regular McDonald’s dinner on the way back from work. A simple activity that can replace this is to stop driving by McDonald’s if it’s triggering your craving and take a different route back home instead.  This might take a little bit of willpower on the first day but as you get used to the new route over a couple of weeks, it’ll become an automatic habit.
  4. Once the first activity feels like a normal part of your day, stack on the second activity and so on. Similarly, once you’ve achieved the first goal, stack on the second, third and remaining goals to reach your long-term vision.

How to Succeed with the Process-Driven Approach

Though this seems simple in theory, there are two emotional and mindset changes needed to succeed with this method.

The first is to be patient – instead of focusing on the big shiny dream, measure progress against the habit that you’re trying to cultivate. Accept that seeing the big vision come true takes months and sometimes years. Our biggest Achilles heel is impatience and while this works well in academia and work, it backfires in building health and relationships because we end up taking short cuts that harm us long term.

The second is to build rewards into your process – Having rewards is the best way to motivate ourselves and makes our mini-habits easier to stick to. For example, if you don’t eat at McDonald’s then your reward could be having a spa massage at the end of the week.

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson

Find The Right Balance

At the end of the day, we need to master both goal-driven and process-driven approaches to succeed. Use the goal-driven approach for short-term goals or when you need a burst of energy to push you through a task. Use the process-driven approach for long-term lifestyle change journeys such as getting healthier, having more meaningful relationships or pursuing a career that resonates with your purpose in life. In this way, you too can soon be the person who seems to magically “have it all”.

What are you doing today to reach success later on? Let us know your tips in the comments below!



from
https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/2-secret-roads-to-success-why-some-people-have-it-all-and-how-you-can-too/

How To See What You’re Truly Capable Of Becoming And Then Becoming It.

I have an opportunity right now to do something that will propel my life and career to a whole new level. It will take me from behind the keyboard and into the spotlight of critics, people with a lot of power, people I admire and the masses.

It’s a dangerous crossroads in a lot of ways. There’s a lot that could go wrong. Normally I am full of belief, but in the last few days, I’ve had my doubts.

Maybe I shouldn’t aim so high so quickly. Maybe I will get distracted from what I really love doing. Maybe I don’t have the skills just yet.

What you’re hearing here is the thoughts of a stock standard, off the shelf, pink brain that was designed hundreds of years ago for a different purpose.

None of these thoughts are valid unless I accept they are.

Seeing what you are capable of becoming requires a few key steps. Then becoming it is the hardest part.

Here’s how to see what you can become and then actually become it:

 

Believe first.

“This is not gospel talk. I didn’t pull this one out of the pages of a hymn book. Until you can see what you are able to become, no one else can see it”

There’s an element of visualization required here. Ask yourself the question “What if there were no barriers and I could achieve anything?”

I want you to assume this is the case. To see what you are able to become you must see it first without barriers, negative thinking and outside opinions.

Once you can see what you can become, you then have to start believing. That requires you to see a positive outcome and have the courage to dare to do something phenomenal.

Believing first requires a degree of ignorance. In a way, I suppose you are ignoring logic. You are being somewhat irrational and not using common sense. You’re using belief to see a future version of yourself that achieves something meaningful to you, and to those who are inspired by your work.

 

Make it really big.

The next step is to dream really big. Our mind often constrains us and forces us to focus on what we’ve done in the past as the basis for what we can become in the future.

The stupid thing is that past results don’t necessarily predict the future. If that were true, we’d all bet on the stock market based on what has happened before and we’d be millionaires sipping mojitos off the bar of our luxury yachts.

Making your dream really big is an art. Your imagination that has been mostly switched off since you were a child and the creativity that has been sucked out of you by society needs to be reignited for the dreaming element of your mind to be turned on again and lit on fire baby!

If you aim really high and think you can deliver a speech in front of 50,000 people and then you fall short and deliver an inspiring speech in front of 2000 people, have you really failed?

The obvious answer is no. At least you got out of your warm bed and took a chance. Maybe there were a lot of seats empty but you at least influenced one person in a positive way.

“Giving it a shot is half the game of life”

 

Disconnect from the result.

Being fixated on the result stops you from ever taking the first step. I’ve been so focused in the last week on whether I can deliver and whether I have the experience to do something audaciously big that I didn’t take action.

I was blindsided by fear even though I know fear better than my own body.

Fear has been the thing that nearly ruined my life and prevented me from typing these very words. In some ways, it’s because I can smell the perfume of fear and see it a mile away with my Superman eyes, that I’m able to see what’s really going on, not only in my life, but the lives of others.

Never giving it a go is a far bigger failure than trying something and not succeeding. Not taking a chance and not risking it all for the person you’ve always wanted to become is something you’ll regret for the rest of your life.

Right up until the day of your death you’ll regret not knowing what could have happened if you saw what you were capable off, took a moon-shot opportunity and became that person.

“Regret is far worse than failure will ever be”

 

Be okay with not knowing a hell of a lot.

Part of the battle of seeing what you can become and then becoming it is that there is a lot you won’t know. The person I want to become in the coming weeks and months, and the opportunity I’m scared to say yes to has a lot to do with the core issue: I have no idea whether I can deliver on my promise.

I have no clue if I am this person that people think I am on the internet. Do I really inspire people? Or do I get inspired by other people and use that as fuel to pass it on?

We’ll never know the answers to these questions. We all have doubts and pieces to the puzzle of life that we can’t figure out.

In the end, there’s only a few harsh truths:

–    You must say yes to big opportunities

–    You must not overthink every decision

–    You must not try to have all the answers

–    You must not continually play out every scenario in your head thus draining your energy

All you can do is have guts, believe in yourself, have the courage and become who you’re truly capable of becoming through relentless action.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net



from
https://addicted2success.com/motivation/how-to-see-what-youre-truly-capable-of-becoming-and-then-becoming-it/

Monday, 23 April 2018

5 Ways to Realize Your Authentic Self

I was a scared kid throughout my younger years. Overly-cautious and wildly unsure were just a few of my characteristics as I headed into adulthood. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t present to many of the decisions I made in my youth in regards to navigating life thus I was blindly going along with it.

Due to this, I forced my hand since I either had to grow or collapse into myself. With the latter not being an option, what ensued was arguably the most difficult yet freeing process of my life. I was to realize my authentic self. While every human being has their own distinct recipe for self-actualization, there are a few things that consistently show up for all of us to be cognisant of.

Let’s look at 5 ways we mask who we are at the core and how to distinguish them:

1. We feel a loss of power when we’re inauthentic

Whenever we feel a loss of power or self-expression within a conversation, it’s due to us not being true to ourselves. What keeps us from freedom is our attachment to a particular view or opinion, and we forget that opinions are not the truth.

We can restore our power by acknowledging where we are being inauthentic and pretending thus taking full ownership and responsibility for where we’re stopping ourselves. As much as owning our shortcomings feels like it looks bad, the humanity of it contributes to much of the contrary.

“Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.” – Coco Chanel

2. Look at what you step over in conversation

Our word is our bond. The language we use tells a much deeper story than what may necessarily appear on the surface. Often times in conversation, we will throw a blanket statement over something we actually have a natural inclination to share more about. Words such as, “anyway,” “nevertheless,” and “regardless” are transitional words which often step over what we were committed to sharing in the previous moment.

Why do we so quickly shift from one part of the conversation to another? What part of acknowledging this area with another person is uncomfortable for us?  Answering some of these questions can shed a lot of light as to who we really are and what we stand for.

3. Acknowledge how many different personas you take on with the people in your life

We go through life like a play at times. It feels like everywhere we go, with whomever we meet, we’re putting on a performance. While the stage can be empowering at times, it’s equally exhausting once the threshold is met.

The reason humans love and cherish their alone time is due to the chance for mental recuperation. There’s no one to look good for, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Looking in the mirror can be tough, but it’s far easier than looking in one with someone standing next to you.

As a result, we wear multiple hats throughout life. And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, it can be taxing for the human spirit. While it may be difficult at first, challenging yourself to take on a universal way of being with everyone you interact with—one that you yourself are happy with—can upshift your life to the highest degree of fulfillment.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Question why you are the way you are and if it’s aligned with what matters most

I spent my early 20’s identifying as a hyper-driven individual with an unmatched work ethic. The reason for this wasn’t because I was a man of integrity or honor, but because I thought that working hard and getting results in life would grant me the approval and support of others.

What I was actually committed to was connection, yet my behavior—the long hours, the nights reading at home while my friends went out—was hiding the very thing I wanted all along. When I finally realized this, the breakthrough was as powerful as a hurricane. It completely reshaped how I organized my life and moreover, allowed me to finally let go of the suffocating pressure I imposed upon myself.

What you feel is missing in your life is a by-product of your own way of being. Begin to look where your ways of being are keeping you from experiencing what you want the most, at the purest source.

5. Examine your way of being while making requests

No one likes to be told no. What’s more uncomfortable, is requesting something of someone knowing they’re going to say no. But we never really know what they’re going to say—so why do we make this story up? Sure, someone you’ve asked the same thing to three times and received a no each time may have a higher percentage likelihood to decline. However, how the request occurs for them is where the real difference-maker resides.

Whether you realize it or not, when we make a request with an idea they might say no, it effectively shapes and colors our request the same way to the other person. As we make the “said request,” we feel this and overcompensate—attempting to influence the thinking of whom you’re asking, which is never a smart idea.

The other person senses this, feeling the same pressure and discomfort we impose upon ourselves, totally oblivious to what we’re actually committed to. By making every request as if the person were going to say yes, we focus on our commitment and the best possible way to articulate it. When it comes to being authentic, every action must be in correlation with what we stand for.

What do you see in yourself that you might not have noticed before?  What might this open for you now that you’re aware? Let us know in the comments below!



from
https://addicted2success.com/life/5-ways-to-realize-your-authentic-self/