6 Ways to Become a Spiritually Strong Person

In life, we attach less weight to the spiritual aspect than we do to other domains. We believe that we create our luck whereas there are several instances where our spiritual connection makes us come out on top or saves us from the evil. An invisible hand – for believers of different religions is quite common. They say their locus of control rests with some higher being in the sky.

How do you find out if you or someone you have become is spiritually mature? Look out for the following signs:

1. Your life is guided by a core set of principles and values

Our life is governed by a certain set of principles. Whatever we do is a direct result of what beliefs we have always held on to. A person who is not spiritually strong will always credit the successes to his own doings and failures, he will blame on others.

Such a person fails to realize there are always spiritual forces at work guiding or protecting them. Those are, on the other hand, spiritually strong inculcate in them the habits of love and compassion because they know they are being taken care of so why shouldn’t they care for others? If ever something bad occurs they tell themselves, “I am being taught a lesson here.”

2. You are slow to hold on to grudges and quick to forgive

If you hold on to old grudges or make it your objective to wish bad and intend to hurt the other person for the wrong they once did to you, you are making life difficult for yourself. As only a spiritually immature person would let themselves be consumed with hatred of the sort.

Many people come and go in our lives, and the bad ones are here to give us the taste of how low humanity can hit or how evil a person can get. Upon closer inspection, you will find that, although people are usually good, some past event has shaped them into the person they’ve become today.

So you learn to empathize and try letting go of the incident and speak a kind word to them. You are the first to forgive. This elevates your status in front of them, no matter how ill they thought of you in the first place. Life is wonderful and the spiritually strong understand this. They say gratitude and move on.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

3. You care deeply for the poor, the marginalized, and the downtrodden

All the religions in the world tell us to care for the needy and the poor. Thus, the ones who are spiritually strong would find time out of their busy schedules to always help those in need. Often we tell ourselves we are too caught up in the race to make a living that we forget about the less fortunate, even if we had intentions of helping them.

I suggest you ask the same question to the spiritually strong who, just like us, also have jobs and families to tend to, and they will inform you how they are still able to manage time for the poor. As the famous saying goes, “It’s not about “having time. It’s about making time.”

4. You maintain your childlike sense of wonder

If you are a person who is spiritually strong then you will never give up the curious nature you had when you were only a child. It is common for people to give up on their sense of wonder as adult life begins to take over and they get burdened with responsibilities.

I am not criticizing anyone but see that is the difference. When you are spiritually connected, you rest your case with the authority up above after giving it your all. Meanwhile, he takes care of the matter, you enjoy life and have fun. No one likes to lead a mundane lifestyle, hence, they take every day as a gift.

5. You are wary of the dangers of excess yet you have an abundance mindset

At first the above can appear to be confusing, however, when you look closely you will see that being spiritual helps you maintain the balance between materialistic gains and spiritual pursuits. When they gather something, they do it without hoarding such as wealth.

Nonetheless, at the same time don’t indulge heavily in making money. When it comes to giving away such as charity, they do it with an abundance mindset, albeit they want to share and it is not just for show. The idea they stick by is the more they give, the more the blessings multiply.

“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.” – Wayne Dyer

6. You defer pleasure

The idea that instant gratification from quick pleasure seeking sources is our right, is the mindset of morally bankrupt people. Those who are strong spiritually tend to defer this pleasure and realize that this does not bring happiness. On the contrary, it can bring more remorse and regret which can engulf a person.

It does not mean spiritually motivated people do not have the right to experience pleasure,  It’s just that they feel if something is worth pleasure, it takes doing on their part rather than resorting to other means. If it is sex, they know the practice is confined to the institution of marriage and this has been instructed in almost all faiths.

In order for society to change, the change begins on an individual basis. Spiritually strong people take responsibility for what they’re doing in life. If it good, they take the credit humbly. If not, then they own up to it instead of running away. Always understand what you do now will have an effect later.

What do you do in order to spiritually humble yourself? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Why You’re Not Happy With Your Career

You want to have a great career and for everyone to know who you are because of what you do for a living. We pretend you don’t want it, but let’s face it, you do.

Imagining this dream in your mind helps you to get to sleep at night knowing that one day you’ll be happy with your career. Then you go to the office the next day and see another one of your colleagues leaving because their side hustle has now become their full-time gig.

Next up, you see that Tim guy walking down the corridor towards the lift wearing his nicely kept suit and very expensive rainbow tie. You think to yourself, “Who is that douche bag and why is he so happy with his career?” You also hear yourself saying, “He earns twice what I do yet I’m just as good as him.”

Well, I know why you are not happy with your career.

Want to know how? Because I was that miserable son of a gun who was pissed off at the world and had a career that made me unhappy. I’ve been exactly where you are right now. I know how it feels and it feels terrible. That feeling can destroy your life if you don’t do something about it.

“I was that stupid person that chased significance and did whatever I could to make money so I could have more flashy stuff to impress people that didn’t matter”

Now I’d rather impress myself. Now I’m not going to lie to you – the problem with your career is not the people you work with or the company you spend your days adding value to – the problem is you.

Didn’t expect that did you now? It’s easy to blame everything other than yourself and it feels spectacular. We’re all so smart in our head and we all know so much about business. Then when we fail, we blame it on the “other guy,” the stock market, the customer or even our product.

So bottom line, here’s why you’re not happy with your miserable career:

 

1. You don’t do “valuable” work

Doing work is not the same as doing valuable work. There are lots of people that sit behind a computer screen all day and look busy. They’re busy doing what they’re told to do and continuing to drive the company into the ground. Valuable work is creative, it’s hard, it’s disruptive and it’s innovative.

Valuable work can take two hours to complete and completely change the direction of a company. Valuable work is done by game changers who think differently and are not afraid. Fear is what cripples your career and it’s why you choose mediocre instead.

Anyone can follow orders and do stuff the way it’s always been done. That’s work. Not everyone can come up with the idea that was right in front of everybody’s noses, but no one ever took five minutes out of their day to stop and think about. It’s the conscious doing and creativity that creates valuable work.

 

2. You watch Netflix instead of going out and networking

Your career will not progress to the level you want it to without a quality network around you. This takes time to build and part of the process is getting off the couch and going to events, functions, seminars, bars, etc, where human beings hang out.

“Those humans that you watch on Netflix are not adding any value to your career. They’re sucking time out of your life and making you dumber by the minute”

 

3. You don’t hustle hard enough

Being happy in your career is hard work. You get more no’s than yes’s. Creating yes’s is hard work and you have to hustle harder than your competitors. When you don’t work hard enough, you end up with poor results. These poor results translate into unhappiness because you don’t get the satisfaction of having achieved something that your happy colleagues get.

 

4. You’re not well liked

Getting that big promotion or starting a company of your own is not only about taking action. People have to love you and want to work for you, or with you. That means you have to be liked by the majority (not everyone).

If you run around swearing at everyone and spend more time on the negative parts of your work life rather than the positive, people will pick up on that. Without realizing, your colleagues will gravitate away from you and you’ll become unlikeable.

Happy, healthy colleagues that I’ve observed are generally well liked. People say nice stuff about them and they’re fun to be around. Who wants to hang around an unhappy, negative, draining loser?

 

5. You don’t understand it takes years

There is no magic number, although as a starting point, I reckon five years is a good place to start. Been doing it six months? Yep, you have a long way to go. You’re not happy with your career because you want it to take off in a short amount of time.

If your children didn’t succeed taking their first steps as a toddler, would you stop them from trying to walk? No, you would keep encouraging them until they walked. Why is your career any different?

A career encompasses many elements that are like small hidden treasures that are spread out across a treasure map that takes years to work through. Every year in your career, you pick up another couple of pieces of treasure. Before long, you have all the tools needed to create your ideal career.

Wanting things too quickly will make you unhappy in your career. Don’t fall for this venus fly trap.

 

6. You don’t engage in personal development

The way you think and your skills have stayed the same for the last two years. You must develop yourself every day. Not once a year at some rah-rah leaders conference, not at the weekly team huddle, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Aim for one small advancement in your career each day. Follow this one step and you will see your career happiness increase tenfold over the course of a year. Growing as a person and in your career is directly tied to your happiness.

 

7. You don’t understand “good enough”

Still at work at 9 pm on a Friday night trying to finalize that presentation for next week? You’re probably over-thinking it. Perfection in your career will kill your happiness like drugs kill brain cells.

“The key skill of people that are happy in their careers is that they get on with the job”

They know that not everything they touch will turn to gold. As long as a few things turn to gold and then focus your time on these precious nuggets, the rest will fall into place. Perfection causes you to waste time in your career looking for the magic cure.

 

8. You don’t give it a go

You’re always trying to second-guess everything. You spend days thinking about all the possibilities and the scenarios that could play out based on a certain action. All of this thinking holds you back from trying new things.

It’s the new things you try in your career that will give you the fulfillment and variety you need to be happy with how your career is going.

 

9. Your personal life is out of control

When you think about your personal life, you tell yourself that you’re happy, happy, happy with how things are going. Stop lying to yourself. What happens outside of your career has more of a significant effect than anything else.

If you are unhappy at home, then you’ll take out your frustration during work hours. If your partner cheats on you and then lies about it, you’ll think of your colleagues in the same way.

As for me, I’m guilty your honor. Lock me up and throw away the key. That’s right this is one I’ve indulged in over and over. A year ago, though, I told myself that enough is enough. You should do the same. Sort your personal life out and stop letting it ruin your career.

Take some time off if you must, but just handle that mess once and for all. Then, watch your career skyrocket. The shackles will be removed and suddenly your career will feel entirely different.

 

10. You don’t give to people that need your help

People ask for your help every day. Help some of them. Notice how I didn’t say all?

The strange thing about your career is that if it’s all about you, it feel’s rather boring and unfulfilling. The way to get out of this downward spiral is to help people who need it. Give your opinion, share contacts or maybe even be a mentor. Do something that helps someone other than you.
You’re not trustworthy

Could you be trusted with a company secret? Can you resist bragging about how much money you made last year even though you’re not supposed to say? Can you stop yourself from talking about that big new client you signed last week?

Trust is everything. When people don’t trust you, they rarely tell you. Instead, you have a whole bunch of opportunities that disappear and the worst part is that no one tells you. Getting your dream career that makes you happy requires lots of opportunities to be thrown your way.

Increase the odds in your favor by being honest. It’s harder than you think but worth it.

 

11. All the answers stay in your head

That’s why I do this blogging thing that many of you criticize me for. I want the answers that are in my head – which I’ve learned from multiple failed businesses, broken relationships, severe health issues and near death experiences – to go beyond only being able to assist me in my life.

Everyone can benefit from what I’ve learned. Everyone can benefit from what you have learned. Think about that one little fact for a minute.

 

12. You settle for comfortable

Instead of being on time this morning, you got that coffee because you told yourself you needed it. Coffee makes you comfortable. Instead of finishing that project on Friday you chose to go to drinks with your colleagues. Alcohol makes you comfortable.

Instead of giving that speech to your leadership team you chose to say no because you don’t like public speaking. It’s not comfortable.

“Comfortable decisions lead to results that make you unhappy in your career. Get used to being uncomfortable if you want to be happy with your career”

 

13. Happiness is a state of mind

You’re not happy with your career because you haven’t decided to be. Sure you might not be in the ideal job right now but it’s all part of the journey.

One day that call center job will feel awesome because it will have helped you to get where you want to go. Why not feel that way right now? Who says you have to wait to be happy with your career?

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How to be More Social: A 5-Step Guide for the Introvert

Everyone wants to be happy and live a successful life. People want to be able to mix around with others and enjoy the moments together. It may sound simple, but that’s not always the case. This is especially true if you are an introvert. If you don’t like to socialize, but you wanted to make […]

The post How to be More Social: A 5-Step Guide for the Introvert appeared first on MotivationGrid.

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12 Characteristics of Toxic People and How You Can Deal With Them Effectively

We live in a world full of all kinds of different people, and learning how to interact with them successfully is a foundational life skill.  When we’re young, we often enter into relationships believing we will be able to change the other person. The sooner we realize nobody changes just because we want them to, the sooner we can get to work on resolving interpersonal issues.

A caring attitude, mutual respect and clear communication are usually enough to break through roadblocks between friends, lovers and co-workers. When we’re dealing with toxic people, however, the standard rules do not apply.

Toxic people can be extremely charismatic. We often find ourselves charmed and immersed in a relationship before we realize what’s happening. Because toxic people behave in ways that are damaging to others, it is important to recognize them early.

Here are 12 ways you can recognize a toxic person:

1. Toxic people live lives of intense drama, and it’s easy to get sucked in.
2. Toxic people are completely self-centered. They make sure all attention focuses on them.
3. Toxic people often appear to need constant rescuing.
4. They are mean. A toxic person may mistreat you over and over, if you allow it.
5. Toxic people try to control you through emotional manipulation.
6. You never know what behavior to expect. Toxic people can be alternately kind or hurtful, calm or enraged. They keep you off balance.
7. Toxic people frequently test you, asking you to prove your love or friendship.
8. Toxic people lie. You can’t believe anything they tell you.
9. Toxic people may be around when you have a crisis, but they will rarely share a happy moment. They like it when you are struggling more than when you are succeeding.
10. They take every chance to bring you down.
11. Toxic people judge you.
12. They manipulate conversations to keep you confused.

“Sometimes you have to accept the truth and stop wasting time on the wrong people.”

How can you protect yourself from a toxic person?

Once you have identified a toxic person, the best way to deal with that person is to keep your interactions at a minimum. When possible, detach from the relationship altogether.  Of course, complete withdrawal is not always practical.

Sometimes the toxic person is someone you must see at work, or a person in your family. If you make the choice to continue interacting with the toxic person, it is vital that you determine in advance the form of your interaction. Make a decision in which you will approach every interaction feeling centered and clear.

See the toxic person when necessary, but keep them at arm’s length. Check in with your body, and note any inner tension or anxiety. Give yourself plenty of space.

Do not be drawn into unnecessary conversation with a toxic person, and never attempt to justify yourself. Toxic people approach conversations as a win/lose proposition, so don’t waste your valuable time. Keep your interactions brief, polite, but superficial.

Have a clear sense of your own boundaries. If you are in a position of working with a toxic person on a project, decide early on what you will do and what is not acceptable to you. Be courteous but consistent. Having a toxic person in the vicinity is a great opportunity for you to practice establishing and enforcing your personal boundaries.

“Because at some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.” – Sandi Lynn

Most of us will encounter at least one toxic person during our lifetime. When you are able to identify them and protect yourself, you can think of this as a gift. Toxic people provide a great opportunity to practice operating autonomously, from a position of your own personal power.

How do you avoid letting toxic people into your life? Let us know by commenting below!

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5 Powerful Life Lessons From the Book Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss

We love reading success stories. People like Steve Jobs and Michael Jordan inspire us to shoot for the stars. We may even insert ourselves into their story and ask ‘what if I could do that?’ But when the last chapter is read, we’re often left with a warm fuzzy feeling, but no actionable steps to take towards our own success.

There’s a disconnect because we can’t necessarily replicate Jobs’ environment or skill sets. But, if we know the practical life lessons that successful people live by, we can test these out. We can take what works and build our own blueprint for success and happiness.

In Tim Ferris’ new book Tools of Titans, he skillfully deconstructs world-class performers to extract the tactics, tools, and routines we can use.

Here are my five favorite life lessons from the book that are deceivingly simple, but powerfully effective:

1. Go First

Gabrielle Reece is a world-renowned athlete, model, New York Times bestselling author, and fitness leader. She has a practice that is simple but powerful. She always goes first. If she’s at the supermarket checkout, she’s the first to say hello. When she comes across someone and makes eye contact, she smiles first.

This practice teaches us to take initiative and connect with people. We don’t need to wait for a cue from others before we act. Put yourself out there. Start conversations with strangers. Take a genuine interest in other people’s lives. You never know where the next conversation will lead you.

2. The Obstacle Is the Way

Ryan Holiday is a writer and media strategist. The Obstacle is the Way is the title of his third book. It’s also a powerful life lesson that we should repeat when facing challenges. The idea is that every obstacle presents an opportunity to get better, stronger, and tougher. It reminds us that we should be seeking out the things that scare and challenge us. This is the space in which growth occurs.

Think about your biggest achievements in life. Whether it was starting a business, completing a university degree, or running a marathon. You probably had your fair share of stress and obstacles to overcome. But you came out the other side a better person. Build a habit of getting outside of your comfort zone regularly. Realise that you’ll face tough situations, but they are the experiences that pave the way to success.

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
– Marcus Aurelius

3. Show Up Consistently

Christopher Sommer is the former US national team gymnastics coach. He talks about making a single important decision to stay on course when working towards a goal.

We often overlook the simple things that create success, like deciding to show up consistently. When we start out building a business or learning a skill, it’s easy to get deterred in the initial stages. But if we focus on a single important decision—showing up consistently—the goal doesn’t seem so big.

So, when you start working toward a goal, don’t worry about performance. Initially, you have a single focus: show up and do the work every time.

“The secret is to show up, do the work, and go home. A blue collar work ethic married to indomitable will. It is literally that simple. Nothing interferes. Nothing can sway you from your purpose. Once the decision is made, simply refuse to budge. Refuse to compromise.” – Christopher Sommer 

4. Don’t Follow the Herd

Robert Rodriguez is a writer, producer, director, and composer. He talks about the importance of going against the grain. If everybody’s going left, you go right. Don’t follow the herd. You’re bound to stumble and fall, but you’ll find new ideas and success when you blaze your own trail. There’s also less competition when you don’t pursue the crowded channels.

Rethink the ‘safe routes’ that the herd follow. Do you really want to work a 9-5 corporate job for the rest of your life? Or are you willing to follow your passion and build your own business? Are you going to eat fast food regularly and end up as a statistic? Or will you go the other way and look after your body?

“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been before.” – Alan Ashley-Pitt

5. The Secrets of Life Are Hidden Behind the Word Cliché

Shay Carl went from manual labourer to having a YouTube channel with around 2.3 billion views. He explains how the secrets of life are hidden behind the clichés we often overlook.

Shay lost over 100 lb and cites the example of ‘eat more vegetables’. Something he’d been told millions of times but ignored. We hear things all the time like ‘actions speak louder than words’, ‘exercise regularly’, ‘get more sleep’, ‘be consistent’, and so on. These clichés hold powerful truths, but we don’t always put them into practice. At the end of the day, it’s the simple things in life that work.

Shay’s advice is to perk up and pay attention anytime you hear something that you think is a cliché. Go a step further and take one cliché and test it out for two weeks to see if your life improves.

So, there are the five powerful life lessons you can start using right away. Don’t let this be another post you read in passing. Make a choice to test one of these out for a few weeks. Decision creates action. Action creates results.

What is the most important step you need to take to reach success? Let us know what you think by commenting below!

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25 Awesome Lewis Howes Quotes

Lewis Howes, is a former pro-athlete turned entrepreneur.  He is best known for his podcast The School of Greatness where he interviews people who have achieved great success.  Some special guests include Daymond John, Grant Cardone, Tim Ferris, Casey Neistat, and many more.  In addition to making appearances on The Ellen Show, he is also appearing in the Think and Grow Rich Documentary alongside Joel Brown, Tony Robbins, and many others.  In addition to interviews, Lewis uses his podcast to share wisdom and insight gained from his years of experience.

Here are some awesome quotes from Lewis:

1. “The world makes room for passionate people.” – Lewis Howes

2. “In reality, failure is simply feedback. It’s not that you are bad or not good enough or incapable. Failure (or feedback) gives you the opportunity to look at what’s not working and figure out how to make it work.” – Lewis Howes

3. “Greatness is the result of visionaries who persevere, focus, believe, and prepare. It is a habit, not a birthright.” – Lewis Howes

4. “You become what you envision yourself being.” – Lewis Howes

5. “You need desire to be fully alive and you need vision to fulfill your desires.” – Lewis Howes

6. “We only have one rule. You can’t stop. You can go as slow as you need to go, but you cannot stop. You can never drop out.” – Lewis Howes

7. “If you don’t give yourself a moment to visualize the clear results you want to create, then you are less likely to achieve what you desire.” – Lewis Howes

8. “Your job is to create a vision that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. If it doesn’t, go back to bed until you have a bigger dream.” – Lewis Howes

9. “Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.” – Lewis Howes

10. “To be great is to be misunderstood.” – Lewis Hofwes

11. “Do not despise the bottom rungs in the ascent to greatness,” – Lewis Howes

12. “Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is a nightmare.” – Lewis Howes

13. “Speaking is no different than staying in shape; it’s not something you get, it’s something you maintain.” – Lewis Howes

14. “Everyone fails. Highly successful people fail many more times than the rest of the world and with much higher stakes at hand.” – Lewis Howes

15. “Remember, no one has ever achieved anything truly great without going through extreme adversity.” – Lewis Howes

16. “The easiest way to live a short unimportant life is to consume the world around you rather than contribute to it. Meanwhile, the people who keep on contributing tend to be the ones who keep on living. The message was clear. People who contribute to their community live longer.” – Lewis Howes

17. “Fill your mind with good and surround yourself with people who lift you up.” – Lewis Howes

18. “The greatest gift you can give yourself is education and growth.” – Lewis Howes

19. “Greatness is a spiritual condition worthy to excite love, interest, and admiration; and the outward proof of possessing greatness is that we excite love, interest, and admiration.” – Lewis Howes

20. “Life should be lived passionately otherwise you’re playing another person’s game.” – Lewis Howes

21. “People don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care.” – Lewis Howes

22. “Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.” – Lewis Howes

23. “The reward for good habits is growth, and there is a reward for bad ones with instant gratification.” – Lewis Howes

24. “You have the power to create the life income and lifestyle you desire.” – Lewis Howes

25. “Doubting yourself is doubting your creator.” – Lewis Howes

Which quote is your favorite?  Have you listened to his podcast?  Comment below!

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3 Keys to Loving the Person in the Mirror

When you look in the mirror what do you see? More specifically, who do you see? Who is the person looking back in the mirror? Are you a strong person? Are you a fragile person? Are you attractive? Are you unattractive? How about on the inside? Are you an attractive person on the inside? Who are you at the core of your being?

Most people struggle with this at least once in their lives. The journey to loving who you are is one that starts with the skeletons in your closet. It starts with facing yourself. Someone once told me “If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you, and how can you love anyone else?” This struck a chord with me. I realized that is such a true statement.

As human beings, we are conditional creatures. Our emotions are based off of conditions. Our feelings for others are based on conditions. Our “love” for each other, though we try to say it is unconditional, there are things your significant other could do that would make you not love them. We have conditions. Those conditions also transfer into loving ourselves. There are things we have done or physical blemishes on us that keep us from loving ourselves.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

For the most part, we all kind of like ourselves but we don’t love ourselves. We all have flaws and imperfections that weigh tons on us. Maybe it’s that gap in your teeth, or that scar? What do you blame yourself for? What did you do or what happened to you to make you think that you’re not worth your own love?

We all have at least one thing; one thing that weighs us down. It’s time to let it go, and it begins with forgiveness. First for yourself.

1. Forgive all past and future mistakes

Forgive yourself. For everything you ever did, and anything you will ever do. Holding on to bitterness towards yourself is toxic. You cannot ever be perfect. The only thing you can do is learn from your mistakes. Learn how to act next time the same situation happens to you. Learn how to get back up again and try one more time, and by one more, I mean endlessly try.

You only truly give up when you quit. Have you quit yet? No, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this. Let go of the negativity and the hatred you have for yourself. You are worth more than that.

The past is the past. It is 5 minutes ago, yesterday, 10 years ago, even seconds ago is the past. The past is gone, so don’t let it haunt you. You have total control over what you allow to be a condition in your life. The past can be your launching pad or it can be your personal prison. The past can control you, if you let it. You have to decide to forgive yourself for it. Everything that has ever happened to you and anything that you have ever done, forgive it.

The future can be a scary thing. What is to come? You will never know. What you can be sure of though, is that somewhere along the way you will make a mistake, you will take a wrong turn, misunderstand a conversation, create a misprint on your banner; something will go wrong. You have to commit to yourself that you forgive your future. Every single one of those “what if’s” that could happen, forgive them now.

2. Give up control and give up expectations

A lot of people are control freaks. Even those who aren’t, are about one thing or another in our lives. According to Buddha, the basic cause of suffering is “the attachment to the desire to have (craving) and the desire not to have (aversion)”. I am not here to tell you to be a Buddhist, though this major principle of their philosophy is very accurate. Attachment equals suffering.

We live our lives attached to many different things. We are attached to the idea that the sun will come up tomorrow. We set up endless expectations in our lives. When our life doesn’t turn out as we thought it would, that is when we get upset. There is only one reason significant others ever fight: expectations. You set an expectation of how the other person was supposed to act or speak or think and when things didn’t play out to your expectations, it causes a fight because they also had expectations.

We try really hard to control everything in our lives, even if we don’t realize that’s what we are doing. Letting go of control is a tricky thing. It’s deciding to roll with the punches instead of getting upset if things don’t go as planned.

“If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.” – Michael Jordan

3. Don’t put hope in situations, but in the big picture

Having hope is important in life. If one isn’t hopeful, they will never succeed. You get what you focus on. So it is important to put hope in the big picture and not in individual situations. As we already established, things won’t always work out as planned, but the big picture very well could still happen.

Focus on the big end goal; put hope in that. What are your 1 year goals? What are your 5 year goals? What are your 10 year goals? Focus and put hope in these instead of the small deal you are trying to close. Know that it will all work out for the better, and if this deal doesn’t fall through then it wasn’t meant to be but still fight for that big picture.

Loving yourself is forgiveness, for yourself first. Loving yourself is knowing that no matter what happens today, tomorrow will be there to start again. Loving yourself is having hope in the big picture to carry you through the struggles and the hard times.

How do you practice loving yourself in order to be healthy, wealthy, and happy? Let us know by commenting below!

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22 Motivational Quotes for Athletes by Athletes

In the sports world, motivation is everything. It can drive us to continue our passions, and give us the necessary push to tear down any obstacles in our way. Motivation ignites inspiration and encouragement, lifts spirits and sends waves of confidence through your entire being. Much of this can be found in quotes from athletes […]

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5 Steps to Figure Out How to Break Free From Whatever Is Holding You Back

Superman might leap tall buildings in a single bound, but even he can’t ward off its paralyzing effects. Is there something in your life you consider kryptonite? Maybe it’s, a person, someone who always brings you down when you reveal your true self. It’s almost as if they have the ability to suck the blood out of your soul, like a living Dracula.

They take your otherwise positive outlook and transform you into what they are: a negative, defeated person. It could be a boss or co-worker who prompts you to feel you can’t do anything right. Whatever the case, you are rendered powerless and weakened.

Maybe your kryptonite isn’t a person; maybe it’s a deadbeat job. It could even be a certain food you can’t resist, and you overindulge and gain undesired weight. It could be drugs, alcohol, or smoking. Even peer pressure from friends and loved one’s can be a disguise for those looking for their own benefits from you. 

Perhaps you replay your past failures and missteps which can wreak havoc on your present holding you in fear of the next step. The results in all of these examples are the same: they drag you down and paralyze you from taking control of your future. Ask yourself, “What am I getting from all this?”

Instead of allowing you to reach your full potential, your kryptonite pulls you into its world. At this moment, the true inner you ends up muted and struggling to get out to be free.

Do yourself a favor and break out! Even if you stumble and fall, rise to your own expectations and be the true you. Whatever your kryptonite may be, take steps now to separate yourself from the circumstances that hold you back. Identify possible issues in your life, see them for what they are, and bring clarity forward in your heart and mind’s eye.

Here’s a few ideas to break free from your Kryptonite:

1. What is it?

Take time to sit in a quiet place and think it through, the answer lies within you. You already know what it is however,  you want to be sure about this before you move on.  Knowledge combined with your experience provides the clues here in filling in the blank. This is one place where the past can provide you with some answers. Think it through from front to back before you prepare to apply this knowledge to change things for your future.

2. Make a Decision

You’re already on track with this one. You recognize the situation, now see it for what it is and change it. Simple enough right? Nonetheless, this requires you to not only decide but commit to avoiding the issue that holds you back and avoiding its power over you.   You must turn this into a “must do” and not a “should do” otherwise you will slip backwards into the kryptonite’s clutches once again.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” – Tony Robbins

3. Distance Yourself

Shield yourself from it by creating distance or boxing it out of your life, but make sure you control it – YOU control you.  No more excuses for yourself, no more giving in to what’s held you back.  You now recognize the issue, you’ve created space, rest up, and get ready for the next step.

4. Enlist Some Help

Sometimes we all need a little extra help to start the process of changing things in our lives. Don’t be afraid to admit you need a little extra push at the beginning. Let go of your pride and reach out to someone. There’s nothing wrong or weak about reaching out for help, but on the contrary, it’s smart and admirable. Find someone you can bounce ideas off of and someone who can hold you accountable.

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” – Les Brown

5. Take Massive Action

Step up, not down to the problem. It’s time to act and move forward with precise action towards where you want to be and whom you want to be.  No more giving into the paralyzing effects of what’s held you back.  Break free to be the person you know lives within you, take action now, empower yourself, separate yourself through blood, sweat, and perseverance for your chosen future.  

It’s time to believe in the person looking back at you in the mirror. Reality check, kryptonite isn’t real and neither are these handcuffs. We put these on ourselves as excuses to fall back on when things get tough. It’s not a matter of whether you consider them real or not. It’s the meaning and influence you allow yourself to attach to them that changes your course or halts your progress.

You have a choice to let these handcuffs dissolve before your eyes or stay chained to your fears. No matter where you are or who you are; you have the key. Decide today to unlock your true potential and leap to your destiny, it’s up to you.

How do you fight away your kryptonite and leap into personal success? Let us know by leaving a comment below!

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8 Steps to Build Your Online Personal Brand

Why brand yourself?  A brand can easily be taken as your mark upon the world, your uniqueness made public for the entire population to see and to acknowledge. A brand is a combination of your core abilities, skills and character traits. Branding yourself is not only a business action. It’s a journey of self-discovery. Taking […]

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Unhappy Is Not In Your Vocabulary – You Are A Champion

I am honored to be here to deliver this message to you. Everyone needs it including your successful friends. We all have tough days which make us unhappy. The road is long and torturous for all of us.

You can’t let that deter you from your goal. Unhappiness is all around us and it will take over if you let it. It’s around every corner, there, smiling at you every time you fail.

Your default belief when the odds are against you is what will keep you moving forward. If you always see the best of every situation then unhappiness won’t win….you will. Trust the mission and trust yourself.

Have faith that you are here for a reason even if you don’t know why just yet. Not all the answers are known to us right now, but over the course of your life, they will be revealed. Like a surprise birthday party, you will be wowed. Even when the surprise is not what you wanted, don’t be unhappy. Unhappy is not in your vocabulary.

Let the hairs on the back of your neck stand tall. Let your body stand tall at the same time and feel the power that hides within all of us. Only you can unlock that power and crush unhappiness to pieces.

 

The word “unhappy” can be removed from your vocabulary.

Every time you are faced with a situation that doesn’t make you feel good, you can choose to see it as a positive. You are in control of what happens day to day.

I don’t just give this advice lightly. I too, have had to deal with this same challenge that you also deal with. Unhappiness is part of the human experience and we get to decide whether we feel it. While we can’t control what happens to us, we can control how it makes us feel.

This super power only comes with practice and discipline. It’s not our default way of living and it’s tough to master. Then again, what is there in life that’s worth achieving that isn’t hard work huh?

 

Travel the world and see new places.

Bring a fresh perspective to your life when you feel like unhappiness may be winning. Start by getting away from the source or changing your surroundings. If all of these YouTube weight loss transformations are true then determination is what you are lacking.

How bad do you want to be happy and stop being unhappy? You can get the results you want faster when you deal with your own situation and decide to help others with their journey at the same time. This is possible because once you take the focus off yourself things start to change.

Doors that were always closed start to become open. People you only dreamed of spending time with come into your life and give you the added support that all champions have.

 

You’re only unhappy because you tell yourself you are.

This victim mentality that you’ve adopted is what is at the source of your unhappiness. Take the word away and replace it with a word that inspires you. Tell yourself stories of your potential and what you can achieve and you’ll begin to rewrite the story of your life.

Every time I feel like I could use the victim word called “unhappy,” I think of all the work I do to serve others with my blogging. I think of the inspiration that is inside of me which I deliver week in week out without fail. It’s not some passing habit because I’ve done it now for three years.

I’m never giving up this mission even if it kills me. Reread those words again because I believe you can think the same way. I’m not special and have the same capacity you do.

 

Keep asking the question.

The answer will come to you if you ask enough times. Unhappiness can come out of not knowing what the meaning of your life is. There is a meaning, though, it’s just that you haven’t put the work in to find it. It’s easier to distract yourself with food, friends, social media or some other vice than it is to keep asking the tough questions.

The tough questions bring out emotion and it’s this emotion that will change your life. Emotion is what drives you to make the hard decisions that most avoid.

“Don’t be afraid to harness your emotions to drive you towards the answer to your one and only question: why am I here?”

When you know why you’re here the unhappiness feeling starts to fade. It’s difficult to explain but very common in the biographies of champions.

 

Are you a champion?

I think we all are deep down inside. Surfacing that inner champion is where the games at.

“Champions can’t be unhappy because they’ve removed the word from their vocabulary”

Their focus is on their mission and this takes them away from any sense of loss. Everything is abundant and all resources are available to the champion that seeks them. Practice being the champion and forget about being the unhappy victim. Label challenging situations with a word that is *not* unhappy.

Pick empowering words. Change your vocabulary. The words you use to describe your life will make more of a difference than you realize. Adopting that label of a champion first begins with adopting the vocabulary of one.

You’re strong.
You won’t be defeated.
You are happy.
You are determined.
You are unique.

You are not unhappy.

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5 Mistakes New Entrepreneurs Make During Their First Year

Would you consider selling 500+ million books a success? Of course you would, and it takes a rather creative and smart individual to achieve it.

JK Rowling is one of the most successful and celebrated authors of all time, but before her Harry Potter series grew into a global phenomenon, 12 publishers rejected her. Even the world’s most successful people fail. They make mistakes and suffer setbacks.

Such adversity never ends, not even when you reach the top. But it’s during your early stages when you suffer the most, because you only know what you know.  However, what if I told you there was a way to avoid many of the mistakes most people make. What if there was a way to avoid all that heartache, so you can fast-track yourself to the front of the line.  There is, and it isn’t as hard as you might imagine.

The smartest thing any new entrepreneur can do is to learn from other people. Why make your own mistakes when you can learn from other peoples’? Why suffer, when they have already created a solution to turn such failure into success?

This is what I did when I interviewed 160+ successful people for my latest book, ‘The Successful Mistake’. I dove into their biggest mistakes so you don’t have to make them.

You may not avoid all the mistakes, but after reading this you will have the ability to avoid some of the most common mistakes (most) new entrepreneurs make.

1. They Take on Too Much

Stop trying to do everything on your own. Nobody built an empire on their own. You need to involve others, and you need to build a team. Erin Blaskie tried to do it all by herself when she first created her virtual assistant business.

She found success. She had happy clients who loved her work. Yet it soon became too much, and the once high-standard that set her apart began to slip. Those clients jumped ship, and it left Erin exhausted. You cannot do this on your own. You need help. Don’t fight this, embrace it.

How To Fix This:

Think about all the tasks you do during an average week, and choose ONE to outsource. Over the next few days, find a VA who can do this work for you. Hire them next week. Start the process and never look back.

2. They Say Yes Too Often

It’s easy to say yes. Saying yes feels good. On the outside, yes is a good word, because yes means more work and money. But the truth is, yes brings nothing but danger.

When Greg Hickman first started his business, him and his co-founder said yes to everyone. After all, their mobile marketing agency could potentially help any business, so they said yes to a restaurant… a bar… a barber… a golf course… and anyone else they could get a meeting with. Yes felt good, but ‘yes’ built zero traction. They tried to help too many people, and in the end helped nobody.

How To Fix This:

If you don’t have a customer avatar, you need to create one. This ‘single’ person is who you serve. Say yes to them, but no to everyone else (no matter how tempting it is).

“It’s only by saying NO that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” – Steve Jobs

3. They Blame Other People

Mistakes happen. Sometimes they are your fault. Sometimes they are not. No matter, there’s little point in playing the blame game. Brian Foley did when he first created BuddyTruk, and it remains one of his biggest ever regrets.

Despite a lot of investment, time, and effort, the first iteration of their innovative app fell short in every area. Brian and his cofounders were angry at the developers. They expected better, and they blamed them for this failure. But as they dove a little deeper, they realised there was more to the story. This failure arose, not down to incompetence, but due to poor communication.  Blame didn’t come up with a solution, but facing the issue head-on did.

How To Fix This:

The next time something bad happens, don’t blame anyone (especially yourself). Accept the mistake. Seek lessons from it. Communicate with your team. And then move on.

4. They Listen To Their Fear

Fear is a part of life. Everyone has it, and no amount of money or fame removes it. But those at the top never let fear do their talking. Whereas those at the beginning of their journey often do. Debbie Millman did when she graduated college. She had dreams and ambitions, but she feared she wasn’t good enough; that the sensible option would be to get a job, climb the ladder, and do what ‘most’ people do.

She built a great CV and career, but Debbie continues to look back and wonder what she could have created if she pushed her fear to one side.

How To Fix This:

Do something that scares you today. Like Noah Kagan does, go to a coffee shop and ask for a 20% discount. The more you face your fear, the easier it is to overcome it.

“Always do what you are afraid to do.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

5. They Give Up on Ideas Too Soon

One of the biggest mistakes a new entrepreneur can make is to flip from one idea to another. Like a shiny object in the sand, you become distracted.  You come up with an idea, build on it, but as you start to move the chains, you quit and shift to something else. The truth is, you never know if your current idea will be ’the’ idea. But if all you do is skip from one to another, no idea will come close.

You need to commit and believe in what you’re building.  Because if you don’t believe, who will? Easier said than done, but if you avoid these five mistakes in your early entrepreneurial journey, you will fast-track yourself to the front of the line. You do not have to make these mistakes yourself. Learn from those who have been there and done it.

How do you keep yourself accountable for mistakes you make on your journey towards success? Let us know by commenting below!

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It’s All You: It Always Was You

Despite our need for external motivation, it’s all you.

I’ve been looking for the perfect mentor, girlfriend, job, food, holiday, car, etc, and what I realized is it’s all me. I don’t need any external motivation to be fulfilled.

This girl made me feel like crap. She became a close friend and then led me on. I got upset and blamed myself. I tried to change my state and had a few drinks. Didn’t work.

Then I went to a Tony Robbins seminar to rediscover my purpose which I like to do yearly. I did all the exercises, danced, chanted, and hi-fived anyone who had a hand. Through a powerful exercise that involved me touching my heart and thinking thoughts of gratitude, I discovered the answer.

The answer to all of life’s questions is: it’s all you. As soon as you go beyond that simple truth, you start to feel pain and suffer. I sat there thinking that it was this girl’s fault I was unhappy, but it wasn’t. She may have been a little selfish, but I get to decide the meaning of every event.

I took back control after this episode and told myself “It’s all you baby!”

Here are some things to remember:

 

1. You are responsible for the good times and the bad.

You had a great birthday? Yup, that was all you. That holiday you just came back from was phenomenal? It’s all you. That animal you love so much? That was all you too.

All the good times that happen are your doing. You consciously decided to put yourself in a powerful state and be happy. The event itself didn’t do that for you. Likewise, you can’t have the good without the bad.

That horrible breakup? It’s all you. The job you lost because you didn’t meet your targets? That was all you as well. Taking back control in your life is about understanding the fact that you are in control. Events don’t happen to you; you create them. You can decide if the events in your life are out of this world or miserable.

“Blaming events for your unhappiness is like blaming the guy who got cancer and is always sick”

Maturity to me is all about realizing who’s in control. It’s so easy to push the decisions and problems onto other people. It’s easy to stand back and watch people dig the trenches than do it yourself. The thing is that when you get down and dig the trench, you get all the growth. The observers often observe their life away.

You are responsible. It’s all you.

 

2. We have enough.

We don’t need any more time, money or stuff to stay motivated and achieve our goals. Chasing more resources gives us yet another excuse not to be in control. Instead of getting what we want, we say “some day I’ll be happy when I get X resources.”

The challenge is some day never comes because that magical target continues to change. The first time all you needed was an office, then a warehouse, then an entire building. We could dominate the entire world and still feel like there’s more we need.

It’s all you. You have what you need right now, it’s just that you have to realize what is stopping you from getting what you want. The person that’s in the way is you.

 

3. Understand yourself and you’ll understand the world.

I’ve got lots of smart friends that either have degrees or are currently getting one. If only they knew that understanding themselves will get them that dream career or business, then they’d probably stop studying at uni.

More than any university degree, understanding yourself will give you the ultimate power. You’ll then realize that you don’t need a bit of paper to have permission to get what you want. A degree doesn’t make you smarter or more worthy.

The people that stand in the way of your goals are more likely to move if they can see someone who understands them self. Someone who knows who they are can talk the human language like no other. They connect in a way that is so deep, anyone can be inspired and influenced to get out of their way.

Truly understanding yourself takes a lot of deep thinking and work. When you understand yourself you know the following:

– You know your excuses
– You know your fears
– You know who you are
– You know what you want
– You know what you don’t want
– You can see other people’s weaknesses in yourself
– You can feel someone on a different level to everyone else
– You can let your intuition guide you
– You can follow your heart

 

4. Be brave and you’ll be rewarded.

So if it’s all you, then what action should you take? My advice would be to start being brave. Do the stuff that you always avoid. Say yes to the things that are uncomfortable. What’s missing in your life is bravery. You cannot be successful without first doing a bunch of hard things.

That might be hitting rock bottom. It might involve cutting off people. The reward for being brave is understanding yourself and how your mind can grow consistently if you let it. What you thought was hard today, will be straightforward tomorrow if you decide to be brave. You’ve got to work the muscle to see the growth.

It sounds so cliché to say, “Be brave young Jedi and do what scares the pants off you.” I only tell you this because it’s this cliché concept that has transformed my own life.

I’ve seen things I never thought were possible because I decided to be brave. I didn’t listen to what people told me I should settle for. I experienced the pain and suffering that goes hand in hand with life’s hardest challenges.

I came out the other side stronger and more determined than ever. I took ten steps forward, and sometimes, thirty steps backward. Instead of measuring progress towards my goals, I measured how well I knew myself. I took my excuses and quite literally shoved them up my own butt.

It’s all you. You must be brave to get what you want.

 

5. Forgive people, it’s all you.

Those people you blame for your failures are not guilty your honour. Now that you know you’re in control it’s time to forgive people. These people didn’t let you down, you did. You let their flawed models of the world affect you rather than go with your gut.

It’s not their fault. They’re trying to be the person that makes sense to them. If that doesn’t align with your model of the world, then forgive these people and move on. Don’t judge or blame. Forgiving people shows that you understand yourself on a whole other level.

Forgiving people is the realization that it’s all you. The wave of emotion and pain that you get to dump when you forgive is freeing. You get increased levels of energy because you are not carrying all the negative emotions that come with holding grudges.

Forgiving is not about giving anything to the person you’re upset with; it’s about giving to yourself. It’s also about knowing that it’s your model of the world that is causing you to be angry in the first place. Nobody wronged you; you wronged yourself.

It’s all you. Forgive people and take back control.

 

***It’s not complex at all***

You thought success was complicated. It’s not. Success starts with you and it ends with you. Everything else between you and your goals is a made up reality that your mind created. You let your mind create this delusion, and so you can banish this delusion once and for all.

Learn to love yourself and to understand who you are. Once you’ve mastered that it’s time to understand who you want to become. You want to grow like the rest of us. Growing requires first knowing where you came from.

We’re often told that life is complex, but I don’t think it is. When we know who’s in the driver’s seat and understand who we are, we can achieve anything. Achievements are not that much of a big deal. Those people you admire have followed the advice in this article and you can do the same.

It’s all you.

It always was you.

It will always be you.

———————————————————————————————————————————

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5 Relationship Hacks Every Woman Should Master

Forming private and personal relationships is difficult in this day and age. Especially when people have no time for each other. Then you must invest lots of time and energy into maintaining relationships. From your significant other to your best friend, everyone needs a piece of your time and this can take a real toll […]

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18 Inspirational Jessica Alba Quotes

Jessica Alba is an author, model, actor, and entrepreneur.  She is the CEO and founder of The Honest Company and has her own makeup line.  She is one of the entrepreneurs featured on Apple’s Planet of the Apps alongside celebrities Gary Vaynerchuk, Will.i.am, and Gwyneth Paltrow.  She has grown from a hollywood figure into a respected businesswoman.  From severe illness as a child, to becoming a household name; Jessica Alba has years of wisdom and experience to draw from and share.

Here are some of her most inspirational quotes:

“My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything – even if you have no clue what you’re doing.” – Jessica Alba

“You have to be the best of whatever you are, but successful, cool actresses come in all shapes and sizes.” – Jessica Alba

“Every time I’d get a critique or some redirection, I’d always just take it very personally. Now I have no problem with it.” – Jessica Alba

“But I don’t feel the need to be famous.” – Jessica Alba

“The secret to using power is not to use it. Just having it is enough.” – Jessica Alba

“Being perfect is being flawed, accepting it, and never letting it make you feel less than your best.” – Jessica Alba

“It’s hard for people to take anyone seriously who’s never done this before. But that just gave me fire to move forward.” – Jessica Alba

“It’s so much better to promote what you love than to bash what you hate.” – Jessica Alba

“Launching products is easy–it’s building it, finding the right manufacturers, getting the design right, and all of the marketing that is hard.”- Jessica Alba

“You have to be brutally honest with yourself and understand your strengths and weaknesses.”– Jessica Alba

“The only way you can measure your success is by reflecting and seeing what you want out of the experience. And the journey is just as much a part of the success you seek out.”– Jessica Alba

“Find your passion and do it totally. The more life experience you get, the better you’ll be at whatever you want to do.”– Jessica Alba

“You have to be tenacious, you have to be focused, you have to have a real vision, and be extremely passionate about it.”– Jessica Alba

“I share the same advice that my mom gave me – stay hydrated and sleep well. And that being a beautiful person on the inside is what really matters.” – Jessica Alba

“Success takes communication, collaboration and, sometimes, failure.” – Jessica Alba

“I never just did what people told me. I questioned everything. When I look back, it is really no surprise that I started working at 12.” – Jessica Alba

“I wish I was more educated, but I make do with the tools I was given in life.” – Jessica Alba

“Having the right partners also means having people you like. They’re all people I wouldn’t mind getting stuck with at an airport for five hours.” –  Jessica Alba

Which quote did you like the most?  Comment below!

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The 3 Elements of Persuasion You Need to Know

Have you ever wondered how to ethically use persuasion to motivate people to think, say, and do the things that you want them to do? Having great communication skills is an essential skill for anyone in business. Oftentimes, the way you communicate is responsible for winning and losing.

We must discover the needs of others and connect these needs with the benefit of our product and service. Top sales people build trust fast by establishing rapport and making their customers feel understood.

There are two types of persuasion:

Direct Persuasion is telling someone what to do, how to act, what do say, etc.

Indirect Persuasion involves non-obvious motivators that help someone make the decision themselves where you appear uninvolved.

“Advertising is fundamentally persuasion and persuasion happens to be not a science, but an art.” – William Bernbach

Humans are self-motivating machines and persuasion is NUDGING the person towards your opinion. We want to collaborate with people in a way that helps them and helps us. To do this, you must show that by helping themselves, they will also help you.

If you become an expert in speaking in terms of the other person’s interests then you are going to be wildly persuasive and authentic at the same. If you are trying to get over on people they will sniff it out. Genuinely provide value and speak in terms of the other person’s interests and they will be more easily persuaded for the desired action that you require.

In order to be an expert in persuasion you need to familiarize yourself with these 3 elements of communication:

1. Incentive

These are things that motivate someone’s choice or behavior. They are outside ourselves and are often tangible. They can be monetary or an experience. An incentive is something you receive physically or emotionally for completing the desired outcome.

There is always an incentive whether it is hidden or obvious. If we can understand people’s incentives then we can speak in terms of their interest. The best persuasion tactic is aligning the incentives with the goal that connect the motivator with the outcome. Something beautiful happens if you can do this extremely well. You can never talk about a person’s incentive too much.

If you can align your incentives with the incentives of the other person then you create a true win-win situation that allows you both to maximize success. If you can find this intersection of incentives then you will see you consistently shine in negotiations and regularly create situations of growth.

2. Motivators

Motivators are the engines inside us. Unlike incentives, motivators are things that affect us deep in our spirit. Motivators go in only two directions: toward the things we want OR away from the things we don’t want.

An important fact to note is that motivation away from pain is about twice as powerful as motivation towards pleasure. We will do and risk twice as much to avoid losing something than we are to gain something. Desire and fear are the foundational characteristics in these motivations.

Here are some examples of using motivators successfully:

• If you learn it and do the action steps, you will reach your goals.
• If you do not take the action steps, could you see that failure is imminent?
• If you do, people will love you.
• If you don’t, people will reject you.
• If you do, you will have more power in your life
• If you don’t, success and legacy will be harder to achieve.

These motivators are merely examples of the types of phrases you can use. More importantly familiarize with the structure of moving people away from pain and towards pleasure.

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean

3. Decision Makers

Decision makers happen unconsciously and then later we realize that we made a decision. This is why building rapport is so important. Rapport is the connection you need to establish a personal relationship. If the relationship is established then it’s much easier to accomplish your desired outcome. Avoid being ambiguous. People do not like situations when they are unsure of what the implications may be.

It’s important to help people clearly see the same outcome that you do. If you can co-create the ideal result then you will build a bond of trust that aids in the decision making process.

These 3 elements of persuasion are pivotal information. You can apply this knowledge right now by creating win-win situations, painting the picture of what they stand to lose rather than what they are aiming to win and building rapport from their interests, desires and fears.

Which of these persuasion techniques do you enjoy most and why? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

from
http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-3-elements-of-persuasion-you-need-to-know/

The Day I Decided To Stop Being A Loser And How You Can Do The Same

I didn’t always have my life all figured out. In fact, there are still parts that I need to work on. One day I was contemplating whether I should start posting articles on LinkedIn. It was on that day that I decided to stop being a loser.

I remember having lots of fear about what people would think of me. This whole blogging thing can only work if you are prepared to put everything on the line.

Safe, predictable advice doesn’t work – I’ve tried.

My dream is to inspire the world through entrepreneurship and personal development. I don’t want to change a thousand lives; I want to change millions and hopefully billions of lives. I want to leave a legacy that can last for generations.

That’s obviously no small task. Shortly after making that decision I started blogging. Every day people told me that my dream was stupid and nobody really cared for what I was doing. Now, three years on, I get swamped with emails every day of regular people like you and me that want to stop being pussies and achieve their big dream.

Definition of being a loser: Being a coward. Being mediocre and having a lack of determination. Not being prepared to overcome fear.

 

Influencing people through not giving a F#@K

I wrote a risky article with this title on LinkedIn. I sat on it for more than six months, too afraid to post it. I had fearful thoughts that I could upset the corporate world in which I work in. Then I thought “No that is total BS. I’m trying to help people and if that’s a crime then screw it.”

The following day I posted the article. People loved it. They saw past the swear word in the headline, for what I was trying to say. What’s ironic is that I had created an article with this bold headline and then I was doing exactly the opposite of the advice.

No longer was I going to be a loser. If something scares you and you’re holding back, then that’s exactly what your next move should be. Bold moves are how you will achieve your big dream.

Here’s my advice on how to stop being a loser and achieve your dream:

 

1. Talking about my failed businesses was risky – I did it anyway

A few years ago there weren’t that many people talking about their failed startups and there was no event called “F#@K Up nights.” It wasn’t cool to hang at the Facebook head office and talk about how your side hustle or startup failed. I chose to screw what everyone thought and shared my story anyway.

It was a risk because the business world could reject me yet again for my pretty dumb mistakes. I did it anyway because I decided to be a loser no longer. I committed to not holding back like so many chumps who pretend that nothing ever goes wrong and everything they touch turns to gold.

Perfection doesn’t exist. Don’t fall for that lie. Your biggest failures are exactly the thing you should talk about. Pussies hide from failures and that’s not the person you want to be. Your story is what will draw people towards your big dream. Embrace it with everything you have.

 

2. Working on the weekends instead of “brunching” was not trendy – I did it anyway

When all the mediocre pussies were out on Saturday brunching and being comfortable, I was doing reps in my home office and writing.

As a side note, I hate the word brunch. It is a loser way of saying “I waste more time than anybody else performing the human function of eating while taking photos of my food and putting it on Instagram with the hashtag #foodporn.” Seriously! Breakfast happens in the morning and lunch happens in the afternoon.

When all the pussies took Monday off and went to the beach because it was really hot, I was at home sweating it out and writing. Achieving your dream is impossible if you just piss fart around and hope that success will fall on your lap.

“Anything worth doing takes time and you have to subtract that time from all the mediocre crap in your life that’s not important”

You know exactly what I’m talking about too. As I write this article, I’m at home sick with a cold. Am I being precious and sitting in bed like a big baby sipping soup and asking for hugs? Hell no. I can still rest my body and be at home working on my dream.

 

3. Talking about my failed relationship with a work colleague was risky to put on the company homepage – I did it anyway

You might think this was suicide. I allowed the marketing team at my corporate gig to post an article that mentioned a failed relationship with a work colleague. It went on the homepage for everyone to see including the ex-girlfriend.

Did I be a loser and say no? Not on your life. It’s who I am. It happened. This is me in all of my glory and people will find out regardless. The only person you should be doing is you. Stay the course with this way of thinking and people will respect you for who you are.

 

4. Spending thousands on a website was risky – I did it anyway

I built a personal website with a freelancer. I kept changing my mind and it became expensive. Pretty dumb move when my side hustle was not making a single dollar. I had faith though and knew what I was doing mattered.

Eventually, I went viral all over the Internet and I was very glad I had a proper website to refer people to so I could collect email subscribers and provide even more value.

People who don’t get your dream will think you are nuts. All that matters is that you know what you want and that you believe you can do it. The rest will follow once you think like this. Only a loser would not invest their own money into their dream.

 

5. Flying all around the world with a fear of flying was risky – I did it anyway

Nothing beats face-to-face interaction. I had to stop being a loser and overcome my fear of flying in order to meet people that were crucial to my dream. It wasn’t easy, but I did it anyway. After a few flights, I had forgotten about my fear.

I was having so much success with meeting people that all the excuses and fear dissipated like magic. Go to places and meet people. You’ll need a network of people around you to achieve your big dream and the quickest way to do that is in person.

“Flying can be expensive and so can being a loser too. You have to spend money sometimes to fast track your path towards success”

 

6. Talking about love when you are a blokey bloke was suicide – I did it anyway

The viral article I wrote that started on LinkedIn talked about love and it was being shown to a business audience. As a “blokey bloke” people expected me to be the last person on Earth to talk about love. It was a necessity and I believed in what I was saying.

Your default response to be a loser is initiated when you don’t live in alignment with your true self. By hiding behind a mask, you push everyone that matters away from you.

“Something is only taboo when nobody is saying it. When everyone starts to align with your message it is no longer taboo”

 

7. Waking up at 4 am to work was risky for my health – I did it anyway

I previously suffered from burnout because I let everything into my diary and had no focus on what I wanted. Deciding to wake up at 4 am each day was risky because it had the potential to take me back to the days when I suffered from burnout.

I did it anyway because my dream mattered. I made sure that I went to bed earlier and got plenty of rest to counteract the bold decision to live when the rest of the world sleeps. Getting up early is how you can become super-productive and get more time in your day.

 

8. Continuing to blog seemed pointless – I did it anyway

These words I write were ignored for years. I believed in myself and did it anyway. Believe in yourself and your potential.

 

***Final thought***

Do you want to play in the big league or the little league? The risks you take and how much you put yourself out there will be the answer to that question.

“There’s no magic carpet that’s going to stop by your house, take you to Planet Happiness and then introduce you to the person of your dreams who then wants to have hot steamy sex with you”

Quit being a loser and get with the program.

Don’t tell me you’ve earned your success and then in the same sentence tell me that you are where you want to be. Put on a pair of fighters gloves and get to work. Show me some sweat. But first, get into the gym. Start the game. Not tomorrow. Right now!

Then come and talk to me about your level of success. Only then will you stop being a loser like I was. Only then will you step out of the darkness and into the light.

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If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

from
http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-day-i-decided-to-stop-being-a-loser-and-how-you-can-do-the-same/